Kara

I would wager it to be a draw to alternative medicine that seems, at least by perception, pervasive in the Mormon community.

Back for a check-in. It's been quite the ride these past few weeks. Nutshell version: We found out my husband is dealing with some depression (specific diagnosis to come) and is the root cause of some of his behavior (the clinginess, the refusal to do things). So a new challenge in and of itself but I like knowing what's going on. I'm relieved. We were able to do a big housecleaning weekend with some family members and I feel so much better. We're setting up a chore chart.

Hello, new to the site, recommended by a co-worker. I have what I feel is probably a minor problem in the grand scheme of things, but it's something that is weighing me down. In short, my house is a mess, my husband won't help me, I can't catch up, and I'm starting to feel very bitter toward my husband. We both work full-time. In the beginning, we divided household responsibilities fairly well and kept the house in decent order. Last summer, we had a period of some emergencies where things got hectic and we fell behind. After that, my husband stopped helping clean the house. He works, comes home, and does everything else but help out. I have asked repeatedly for his help, and he full-out refuses. Finally, he looked me square in the eye and told me to never ask him to help clean again. This was about three months ago, and I've stopped asking. I would suck it up and accept my second shift, but it's almost as if my husband doesn't want me cleaning, either. We have a fairly active intimate life, and my husband also loves planning little family events with our very young children. Every time I try to catch up, he insists on sex or family outing or game and I hate to be the wife/mom who skips out on those. Life has gotten extremely stressful for me. All I can think about is this mess, yet I'm never given enough time to buckle down. Little bits here and there daily aren't noticeably helping, and in all these months I've never been given a period of time to clean. The house isn't just untidy. It's filthy, the floor is covered, and my husband just makes it worse. Our children are too young to be of much good, though I've tried to dig out some time to teach them a few skills. As it is, they aren't old enough to help tackle the disaster of my house. I just don't have any time to get anything serious done before I'm dragged away by something else. Everytime I try to carve out a weekend, my husband plans some trip. I feel like he's avoiding the subject and he won't tell me why. I'd even use the Sabbath, but it's full of extended-family events. Worse, he then criticizes me about why the house looks the way it does. When I was asking him why he wouldn't help, he says most men don't participate in housework. So, he's upset with me for the messy house, yet refuses to give me the time to just take care of things. I've never been super neat, but I've always maintained a respectably clean home. I feel as if I am being punished for letting things get behind last summer. Now, everything just piles and piles. I can't invite people over. I can't enjoy my husband or my children because the house and my lack of time. I once tried to use a sick day, and my husband found out and also took a sick day so we could have a date together. I don't know what to do. I feel pathetic just posting this. I want to serve my husband and family by putting them before my house, but it's gotten to the point where I just can't. I'm angry at my husband and yet am shot down every time I try to talk about it. He's mad at me for the messy house and for not enjoying our intimacy like we used to--I am now doing this as a duty and I'm in despair I can't even enjoy sex. I hate being mad at my husband and I also don't see any way of making him understand how I feel. I'm furious at him and I can't even find a way to serve him selfishly without hoping he'll reciprocate and help me. I apologize for the length of this post and for asking advice on what I feel should be such a trivia.l matter, but I'm at my breaking point.