I am very late to this discussion, so I doubt that the following advice will be useful to the person who originated it. However, the following advice may be useful to others: Specific actions as well as fasting and prayer are required in many cases to overcome a strong sex drive at times when sex is inappropriate. In fact, fasting itself can be a very beneficial action in this arena because Concentration Camp survivors indicated that they lost all desire for intercourse as time progressed. Jesus said that His disciples would fast oft, i.e., once the Bridegroom (Himself) was no longer with them. Many of the troubles Church members experience could be avoided or minimized if we all (with reasonable exceptions such as little children and pregnant women) fasted often. Also, there are dietary principles in the Word of Wisdom that will aid us in this and many other trials when we are not fasting, e.g., minimizing the consumption of meat. Men may also need to take cold showers and do other things that first show resolve on their part to become better disciples while also praying earnestly that they will not be tempted beyond their ability to resist. That is, these and other useful actions outwardly demonstrate faith, which is then rewarded.
I fully understand that the foregoing advice isn't easy to take, but consider this: do you think you will be more successful jumping down a flight of stairs than taking them one step at a time? You know that you risk great pain if you try to do this, perhaps even physical death. Do you want to experience great spiritual pain or death by being or remaining a slave to your physical appetites? The scriptures contain many commandments and discourses; we liken them to an iron rod for our salvation. Here, I liken less explicit advice to a wooden handrail for safely going up or down emotional stairs.
That is, to confine my argument and advice to this specific situation, you may not think of coercing your wife to have sex at such times is more than a little begging, hardly a sin at all. You may be right, but you are being neither safe nor considerate. That is, the analogy of the wooden handrail on your stairs in your home applies, even if it is no iron rod, I.e., even if there is no specific Scriptural injunction against such inappropriate desires and activities. If you still think you are right, why don't you remove the handrails from your stairs and get back to me after you have experienced a tumble or two? I could also show you some interesting bumps and bruises along these and other lines, but I hope that a word to the wise is sufficient.
You also have a Bishop and LDS Social Services to help you in trying times and situations. I have used both in the past and have an appointment with my Bishop next Sunday. In the meanwhile, I am reading appropriate Scriptures and other items such as relationship advice focused on the specific issues that LDS members face, which is how I stumbled upon this website and this particular thread. For your information, as a fairly recent widower, I need to apply the same principles and actions I outline above, so this is not me saying do as I say and not as I do.
