Juli

I am glad the policy doesn’t bother you and that it’s not a big deal when your family members can’t be there. Does that mean that everyone should feel the way you do? It might be good to keep in mind that everyone has their own stories and circumstances. This doesn’t mean we should ignore or go against policy, but the disappointment and hurt can be very real and an honest question seems appropriate. You may be right about your textbook explanation of doctrine, but your initial words and personal examples condemn, accuse and felt, to me, very self-righteous and more than a little flippant. A tiny bit of compassion and empathy would have been a much better side dish to your main course.

Yes, all received the information, the missionaries, the ward mission leader, the bishop, the stake president, and the mission president. I spoke (respectfully) with all of them except the mission president. I asked for clarification and was told over and over simply that it’s policy. I accept that part, but wonder why it exists. I am an active member of the ward and have been for 30 years since I moved in. My grandson came to live with me a year and a half ago and has attended church regularly since then. He is well known by ward members. We have now had the baptism and the spirit was so strong, all were moved to tears. The grandfather baptizing him actually had to pause to regain his composure. It would have felt right (to me) to confirm with such an incredible spirit in the room filled with loving family who had traveled hundreds of miles to be there. It actually felt very unfinished and awkward to stop the service after the baptism. We sang a song and said a prayer, but it was unfinished. But we obey and follow and stay quiet. And my daughter, who has made such great strides forward with her own reactivation, keeps her hurt and disappointment to herself. We will wait now for two weeks. Family members from his deceased dad’s side will be home and out of state again, but the ward members can witness it. Our assigned ministering neighbor will confirm.

You misunderstood my words and made some inaccurate assumptions. My grandson has already made the choice to get baptized. No one is acting upset in front of him. We are being obedient and following the direction given. And finally, it matters VERY MUCH to this child who is there for him and who confirms him, just as it matters VERY MUCH to the family who are there for him. No one is going against or speaking against our leaders. The question is, why? Why is the policy on confirmation different for converts? Simply trying to understand. Your response still didn’t answer the question.

We have asked them both. The bishop originally told us we could. The mission president is the one who is saying we can’t and they are deferring to him.

My grandson, who is 9, recently finished the missionary discussions and chose a date for baptism. It has been a spiritual growth experience for all of us, and his mother has even started attending church again. One of his grandfathers is traveling out of state to baptize him. We have been told that he cannot be confirmed after the baptism because he is a convert and it must be done in sacrament. Because of stake conference and another conflict (family baby blessing at another ward), this means he has to wait two weeks to be confirmed. In addition, all of the out of state family will be gone. He is devastated, his mother is hurt and upset. He has been to cousins’ baptisms and has seen them get confirmed right after their baptism and doesn’t understand why he can’t. (Additionally, another 10 year old in our ward was confirmed after his baptism a month ago.) The only explanation anyone will give us is that this is the policy. Why is policy being given more weight than circumstances and the best interest of the family and child? Is it really the best policy to make a child wait two weeks to be confirmed?