walterkellar

What 'fun' would there be if a god 'popped' a world into existence in a matter of a few days? I like to think that it is like those who grow gardens. The fun and beauty is to watch things grow. If you are eternal, what's the hurry. Where you gots to go?

FDR was the man for the time. Flawed but aren't we all? Plus it was the political era for the cult of personality.

Well, I see your wisdom in that suggestion. But my many years in social work kinda neglects the assumption of the lack of service. I do quite abit free stuff for people who call me. This site has been the only available avenue for venting frustration. I mow grass for the elderly...tutor the wayward student without charge...but if I have become a bit tiresome for you....adieu

I know it is a cliche within the church to say that we are not sent to fail but it seems readily apparent to my series of failures here. Even if I do not know more than god the upshot of it all is that I am tired of playing and I do not wish to play anymore. So if I get the glory behing curtain number three so be it. It can't be any worse than what it is now.

I have thought long on a reply instead of a knee-jerk response. Given that my patriarchal blessing is 3 and half pages long with the running theme through out is 'going through the refiners' fire' I am lead to believe that my life will/is fraught with a whole bunch of "not fun". You stated that I should pray to god as I see him. I have always saw god as the Norse god, Odin. Pretty grumpy and generally peeved at someone. Jesus, as I have stated earlier, has been an individual that is cold and aloof. I find it hard to pray to these people. But I have resigned myself to the fact that it is their universe so they can act however they want. As it has been revealed that I have lacked the association of unconditional love I have also lacked the experience of having a god-like archetype. No hoary hair grandfather dispensing sage advice whilst laughing good naturely. So do I go with the Morgan Freeman god look or is there someone else that I can pattern off of?

jschroeder, You hit the nail on the head. Yes, it is the lack of experencing unconditional love that has had an impact in my world perspective. I have no memory of being held, kissed, cuddled, hand being held or comforting words...let alone having heard the words I love you from my mother. I have learned in my adult life that my mother experienced abuse and rape in her life so therefore she did not have the modeling of a loving parent in her life. Yet, the damage is done. So, I have no feelings when I hear the phrase 'god loves you'. They are just words. However, it is a relief that you have understood this. Thank you very much.

It is not question of whether there is a God it is a preception of a like thereof of the promoted personality of God. Let me make this clear, I have a testimony of the gospel that is not the issue. It is the acceptance of of the various teachings. I know that intellectually that since the church is true, ergo the teachings are true, therefore the teachings that there is a kind loving father in heaven must henceforth be true. But viscerally it cannot be comprehended. There is where the anger lies. To say that I can have the testimony of Joseph Smith to the degree that we are loved by God is to say to Stephen Hawking that he can be Jesse Owens. Now one might counter Stephen can be a 100 meter sprinter after the resurrection yet my pain is now. I am not anti church but a very rebellious spirit. If I did not have the desire to feel loved then this would be a non-issue but yet.....I am angry that a person cannot opt out this mortality and depart. I have always liked the saying, "Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me! I quit!'"

Allow me to apologise my previous posts that may have offended anyone. Though my thinking and ideas remain rooted in anger and resentment towards the concept of a kind loving god, I realise that is not within the norm here in this community. I find myself loathing those that have what I do not. Again, sorry for the hissy-fit.

I doubt I will pursue this any longer...I just caught the thread and funky monkey's question about suicide. Part of me wished ill upon those so smug with their knowledge and understanding. You don't understand nor do you have the capacity because this maybe is all too alien concept. Give me my little corner of the telestrial kingdom possible there may me the rest of my kindren. A parting thought...."If we are children of God, how come I find myself in foster care?"

OtterPop, sorry to have disappoint you on my failed attempt. I too have many years in the mental health/social work field...I am glad you are such an expert.

Vanhin, In a very first posting of mine I stated that I could not feel being loved. This has been a great hinderous in forming a positive world/spiritual view. The posting replies, not unlike in my recent one, were coming from computers located in the Hundred Acre Woods. I know of the reasons for this feeling of lack of love, my mother was not emotionally bonded to me. The term is, I believe, reactive detachment disorder. The Peter Pan replies stated prayer and fasting as my panacea. I wonder if prayer and fasting can regrow legs if they were missing as well? Hmmmm....The same homilies of "buck-up Little Camper" is evident here as well. I lost my little family...ah, the glass must be half full then!! When the jobs were lost and the pain became to great....the home teachers were there the same way that the Tooth Fairy wasn't! Be of good cheer in passing with none stopping. We all heard the story of the man whose beets fields were harvested by friends...I heard the same story in Priesthood meeting so jolly feel goods all around with exhortments of doing likewise.....but in my dark little apartment the only knock was someone wanting rent. So to sum up...God in His wisdom decided it would a hoot to deny the feeling of being loved by a mother and therefore being unable to be receptive the general feeling of belonging and being wanted. To the Christopher Robins reading this it is like placing something on a self but there is no self to hold it. As for considering the options of to be or not to be...this is the only reality I know. Yet you say, follow the Saviour. I see the saviour as I do other people...cold aloof. But somehow that is my fault?! That has always been my preception. So, I have no legs and yet people say it is my fault for not being worthy and that I should fast and pray.... gotcha. By the way, the leg thing is a metaphor.

Could it just possible that the bitterness comes from unfulfilled expectations? I reject your only two options. I am bitter because what I tried to obtained was denied me. Tried to play by the rules. God has favorites and it is apparent that I am not one of them. No...if I could have just one wish is that after death one could receive oblivion. I do not want any sort of self-awarness....if He were a "kind and loving God" that would be a blessing....yet I see myself setting up for another failed expectation.

I do not understand why killing oneself is wrong. I attempted once but was discovered....I think if one wants to opt out this "wonderful" mortal mire it should be a viable option.....colour me bitter.

We will not all come to this life and receive the ideal family. I have received many family blessings through my service to others. You never know when and where you may offer a service but you will be inspired and you can either act on it or simply let it pass. If you have the opportunity to lit a pilot light for a woman (who may or may not have a husband, or whose husband is too elderly), you will feel a kinship blessing. If you have the opportunity to volunteer as a baseball coach for the Boy's Club, you will share their struggles and help them to over come things. And you will feel the blessings. If you have the opportunity to open the door for someone and they refuse it, know that the door was opened for you as well. And you will know the blessings of the Lord. Thank you all for your responses and suggestions. I posted my age to allude to the experience that the lack of feeling of God's love has been a lifelong deprivation. Never felt it. I like the response that someone said that my receptor has been damaged. It then dawn on me that I also have no sense of smell! In the last ten years I lost the ability to detect smells. So, I know that fragrances exist and accept it.....so must so that God loves.....but I once had the experience of smelling.....not however feeling loved. Any, thanks again for your posts...

I am a 47 years old male. During the course of my life I have yet felt the love of out Father in Heaven and/or Jesus Christ. I should also add that I don't feel loved by anyone for that matter. I have learned that having an emotionally unattached mother can lead to this general feeling of not being loved however I thought that if there was a source of Divine Love that would break through what has transpired in mortal life. Looking for any thoughts on this. Thank you.