funkyfool

my very own forum???? im flattered. that sucked. thanks.

well, i survived the dinner. sheesh.

yup, thats what i thought.

Turns out that i am coming.

I'm not going anymore. I have to pay for a new catalytic converter for my car and i dont have the money. So whoever was hesitating to go because they heard i was going..dont need to worry any more. have fun.

yo im from PA melissar. It's possible!!! Im sorry you cant be there Ben, I was hoping you could be.

I am very excited to meet you all. This whole "Utah" idea isnt overly appealing and i find it odd that so many people that i find to be decent individuals actually allow themselves to live there. But anywho, im gonna be there and im interested to see and meet some of you face to face. It should prove to be an experience.

yeah. Its been a couple months now since i first posted this forum. I suppose a lot of what you're all saying does make sense. Men are men..and human. i just gotta give it time and have more faith. Which is something im prepared to do. PS: how do you figure im a dependent person Margin?

no, i havnt had the chance to speak with him yet. im kinda givin up. i dont care that much anymore. i guess if i happen to run into the patriarch at some stake event, ill talk to him. But im not going out of my way.

Ya know, maybe i really am just a lost young soul. Im in no way humble enough. In no way experienced enough to question the Lord. The similarities between the blessings of my brothers and mine, perhaps some of you are right in what you're saying. Perhaps i just need to get over myself. And whoever it was that said i need to feel like an "individual" or whatever you said...maybe thats all this is. I need to just suck up all of the questions i have in my heart and start having more faith. I dont understand things at all right now, but maybe one day it will all be more clear to me. And yes, as i said before, i plan on asking the patriarch about it. Though i still feel it wont give me any answers, its still worth talking to him. Maybe one day ill get over my own pride and decide to kneel down and pray for myself. IM not going to ask for a blessing of comfort. Thats stupid. IM not spiritually prepared for that. I dont want one. Elgama, dont tell me i have low self confidence.

yeah my brother dont know i read his blessing. and he's never read my blessing. i dont want to be close to my brother. hes a loser. we spent enough time close as kids. time to break apart.

Tom, explain to me straight up, why it is that you think i shouldnt have gotten my patriarchal blessing. now that i think of it more, it was actually a great idea that i got my patriarchal blessing when i did. I received it at the exact right time. I actually held it close to me and let it guide me for a short period following receiving it. it wasnt until just now, that i question that the strength i received from it....that the "strength" really was all just in my head. just a mind game. it wasnt the blessing, it was just me.

your children let you read their blessings? My brother received his blessing in october -03. i received mine July '07. same patriarch.

i really think thats an excellent idea. I just found this all out today. Today was the first time i had ever read my brothers patriarchal blessing. THe next time i see our stake patriarch, i will certainly talk to him. Of course he'll probably give me some sort of answer like "its what the lord inspired me to say, who am i to question" but i dont really know. i guess ill just have to ask him. I still tend to think ill be let down by his reply. i really think i need to find out the answer within myself. and with this supposed god that inspired the blessing to begin with. like yall keep sayin, the patriarch is but a man. imperfect

excuse me? is there any way i can delete people from posting on my thread? lol too early to get my patriarchal blessing huh? I think not Trust me...TOM, i think very much about how i impact those who read what i write. I appreciate your concern. I appreciate your advice. i dont criticize the way you post (until just now) so dont do it to me either.

I want to know who i am. I want to be assured....that either it is a mistake in the patriarchal blessing. something wrong with the patriarch... or that the church just isnt true I want to know that wow...its just some sort of weird coincidence...or something that the blessings are so similar, I want to know that regardless that my brothers is so similar to mine, that my blessing is FOR me...specifically for me i want to know the truth. kinda askin too much though. im never gonna find out cause im not willing to find the answers for myself. im not even really sure how to find out the answers for myself. i thought my patriarchal blessing would give me answers. But now, im just more confused than ever. i never should have gotten my patriarchal blessing

lol the lord better honor my agency. thats why im here aint it?

they arent freakin different hardly at all. his says hes goin on a mission...which aint gonna happen. and thats really the only difference. neither of us have potential. kinda silly that we look to a blessing from some falling apart old man to tell us god says we have potential. teaching tool. maybe.

questioning the patriarch IS the first thing i did. I can tell just being around him though that he is a very spiritual man. He's old and i think pretty wise. He's given close to 1200 blessings by now. It would be one thing if our blessings were similar. THey are exactly the same though basically. But there are some very specific things that are literally verbatim between the two blessings. i just...i dunno.

I received my patriarchal blessing this past summer. I thought it would be a good experience and I suppose it was. There were a few things in the blessing that gave me the sense of "the church is right, im worth something, maybe the lord kinda understands me" Then i also sorta got the sense that the blessing was somewhat generic. That it could be applied to anyone. But i convinced myself that a few things in there really were meant specifically for me. Eventually i came to kinda think my blessing was special and something sacred to me. Until today. HA! now i dont know what to think I got the genius idea to read my brothers patriarchal blessing today. Given by the same patriarch but several years earlier. Turns out, our blessings are extremely similar. So similar to the point that there are literally paragraphs verbatim or very close to it. THere are specifics in my blessing, spit out literally verbatim in my brothers blessing as well. things i thought were very specific, literally freaking exactly the same as my brothers. Entire paragraphs. Id forget whos blessing i was reading. my brothers or mine. It twisted my mind. what is going on? WHY are they almost exactly the same? Is this just a test of my faith? the faith that im never sure i even had? is it satans way of trying to push me away from the church...because i admit thats the first thing thats coming to my mind. To push away. I feel like this is disproving the church. DIsproving any beliefs that i thought i had. Or is it really ...just that. That patriarchal blessings are bullcrap?...and i ought to just take it as it is...silly me...having been brainwashed my whole childhood that the chruch is true...just cant grasp the fact that its not true... of course i know what you members of the church will say.... but i guess im really just open to suggestions. im not a praying/fasting person. and i know thats also advice ill get. i dunno. give me advice. ill see what i do with it. but at the moment, im about ready to burn the patriarchal blessing and then go harrass the patriarch next time i see him.

i uh, am not Quite sure what you're tryin to say "quite possibly" means "most likely" im tired. dont mess with my brain.

hullo. im funkyfool. Im young. From Pennsylvania. Im quite possibly the coolest person anyone of you will ever meet in your lives. And that just about sums it up.

I really am so happy she made the decision she did. I think that maybe this woman...this protestor that was able to talk with her, and change her mind, and offer help, maybe this woman was an answer to the prayers of all of you on the forum. Im sure ill be meeting this woman eventually during my friends pregnancy, but i am so grateful to this stranger. ON friday, when i took my friend to the first clinic, the protestors seemed like very hateful, finger pointing people. Im so glad that there was one that was able to reason with my friend and kindly take her by the hand and help her out. I never thought protesting was something id ever do. But I really wonder how many lives of children can be saved through people like this one protester was to my friend. crazy stuff.

:D :D My friend was scheduled to go to the abortion clinic today at 7am. I didnt call her.. wasjust waiting for her to call me. I get a call at about 5 oclock tonight and I answer the phone. She tells me "*funkyfool*, I decided you were right. I didnt get the abortion" i felt ....so grateful... so glad that she made this choice Yesterday, we went to a clinic in one of the suburbs, and there were about a dozen protesters, and i was walking beside her. Today she went alone, and had to walk through a very large crowd of protesters in center city. She proceeded to tell me how one of the protestors approached her and spoke with her, and told her that she'd be willing to pay all medical expenses and bills related to the baby. She had lunch with this woman and they went back to her house. Went and got another ultrasound and found out that her baby was a girl. She wants to keep the child. I still think adoption would be the best idea, but i am soooo grateful she decided to let her baby girl have the opportunity to live. kinda weird for me to admit this, but yesterday in the bathroom of the clinic, i kinda attempted to pray. I suck at praying, but i asked god..that any way possible... she would see what she was doing was wrong, and change her mind. I dont know if i really can owe her choice to my prayer, as it was totally up to her... yesterday on the way home from the clinic...i drove her home because she just felt so..emotionally sick about what she was doing. i had to pull over 3 times in traffic for her to open the door and puke her guts out. maybe it was her emotions...the guilt she was feeling. I dont know. but im so happy she made the decision she did. but my heart was just floating. I dont feel sick anymore. Went bowling tonight, and won one of those stupid stuffed animals from those machines. Saw a little girl eyeballing, it... had to give it to her. I was just floating.. lol then ironically went to wendy's and they had some jar for donations that went to some sort of adoption charity. i know its stupid, lol but i was just feeling giving, so i threw a couple bucks in. i dunno. im happy for my friend and her decision. IM happy she decided not to have the abortion and thanks really everybody offering advice in this thread. There is still a lot to come, but for now i can celebrate with my friend :)

Loudmouth, i SO wish i could... She already has a family that says they would adopt the child... she said no.