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My son is 20. He is adopted but I have had him since he was a baby (as a foster child). My other children are much older than him. He is mildly Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. He moved out of the house shortly after his 20th birthday when he decided to make the choice to live on his own rather than go to church with us (we are LDS). There were no histrionics - he is a calm loving sweet person. Taking part in family activities was part of our requirements for him living with us - whether that be going on outings or going to church. Because of his Fetal Alcohol-edness (yes, I made that up), he has always done whatever his friends want him to do. He has little will of his own socially. Today he made his first visit to the doctor who has the power to prescribe him hormones to start a sex change. He is on our insurance and has not been paying us for it (he has steady work at a popular fast food place and was even recently been sent for training as a shift manager). My first thought was to just take him off of our insurance. I called them today and they will cover HRT if it is deemed medically necessary--and I'm sure he friends know which doctor for him to go to to deem it as such--but the insurance will not pay for any surgeries. In answer to my prayers of what my role is in this and what my Heavenly Father wants me to do, He is responded with a phrase from my Patriarchal Blessing: Be kind, considerate and loving. But I also don't want to be enabling. How would you handle this? What advice can anybody give me to be kind, considerate and loving without being enabling?