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I am going to keep this short; please keep your advice to my specific questions. My temple marriage of 25 years is on the rocks. Why isn't relevant, though some hints lie within. In the past two years, I have suggested to my wife several times that we get marriage counseling. My wife has vehemently rejected this every time. I recently brought this up again and suggested that she pick the marriage counselor. She said that she's afraid that I'm not going to get out of what I think I am. I said that's fine, it's still worth a try. She said no. After ten years of inactivity for me and eight for my wife, she has returned to church (I'm fine with that.) I've wondered if using LDS social services marriage counseling will make her feel more at ease. At the same time I fear that I'm not going to be given close to a fair shake, which is fine up to a point where it becomes "blame the inactive husband" or resorts to "listen to Lord" and "feel the spirit." Been there, tried that. We have deep problems that go back 25 years and aren't going to resolved with cliches. FYI, we life in Utah County. My questions are: 1) How good is LDS social services marriage counseling? 2) How objective are they? 3) Is everything approached from a gospel standpoint or a neutral standpoint? 4) If this is advisable, can I get a referral from the bishop even though I'm inactive, but my wife isn't? 4a) If the answer is no, should I talk to the bishop anyway in hopes that he'll talk to my wife?

I'm sure someone else has brought up this topic, but I cannot seem to find it. Background: 36 yr old male, married 8 years, Methodist wife, two young children. I met and married my wife during a time in my life when I was inactive in the church. I haven't been to church at all in the 8 years that we've been married. Lately, I haven't been able to escape the feeling that I need to return to the church. I am empty spiritually. My heath is suffering as a consequence. I used to be very energetic, easy going and happy, but now I am drained (physically/mentally/spiritually), irritable and borderline depressed. When I told my wife that I needed to return to church, she hesitantly said that I could go but that I wasn't allowed to take the kids. This killed me, but I just let it slide by to avoid argument. She believes the church is some kind of cult and has read a fair amount of anti-mormon literature. I know that if I return to church she will resent the church and I. If I don't return to church, I will continue to die spiritually and grow to resent her. As I weigh the options I can’t help but fell like four lives are going to be negatively impacted as a consequence to any decision that I make. Is there a win-win solution here? In most areas of our marriage we are fine with one exception being religion. But religion is the most important thing and without it the void in my life continues to deepen and adversely impairs my ability to be the father that my children need me to be. Thanks in advance, J