I am going to keep this short; please keep your advice to my specific questions. My temple marriage of 25 years is on the rocks. Why isn't relevant, though some hints lie within.
In the past two years, I have suggested to my wife several times that we get marriage counseling. My wife has vehemently rejected this every time. I recently brought this up again and suggested that she pick the marriage counselor. She said that she's afraid that I'm not going to get out of what I think I am. I said that's fine, it's still worth a try. She said no.
After ten years of inactivity for me and eight for my wife, she has returned to church (I'm fine with that.) I've wondered if using LDS social services marriage counseling will make her feel more at ease. At the same time I fear that I'm not going to be given close to a fair shake, which is fine up to a point where it becomes "blame the inactive husband" or resorts to "listen to Lord" and "feel the spirit." Been there, tried that. We have deep problems that go back 25 years and aren't going to resolved with cliches.
FYI, we life in Utah County.
My questions are:
1) How good is LDS social services marriage counseling?
2) How objective are they?
3) Is everything approached from a gospel standpoint or a neutral standpoint?
4) If this is advisable, can I get a referral from the bishop even though I'm inactive, but my wife isn't?
4a) If the answer is no, should I talk to the bishop anyway in hopes that he'll talk to my wife?