Guest Starsky Posted February 3, 2004 Report Posted February 3, 2004 Originally posted by Strawberry Fields+Feb 2 2004, 07:23 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Strawberry Fields @ Feb 2 2004, 07:23 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Cal@Feb 2 2004, 07:18 PM In fact, ask Anti, bat, or me if our positions were cause by "hurt feelings". I think you will find that it has nothing to do with hurt feelings. Maybe I have just been reading the wrong information "in between the lines". Can you tell me what causes so much bitterness towards the church, a church that is doing absolutely nothing to affect your life once you leave it? I would think that if you just feel that the gospel is wrong you could just simply turn and walk away never looking back. Why haven't you and others moved on to something else, something fulfilling? To me this cries out hurt.Please don’t get me wrong I am not asking anyone to leave. The only thing that makes sense is that you feel compelled to stay because you are missing something without it. Well said Strawberry. Quote
Cal Posted February 4, 2004 Report Posted February 4, 2004 As I said, hurt feelings has nothing to do with it. That some of you insist that it does simply reveals that you have not yet investigated the church from an unbias point of view. I have, and am happy to share my findings with you all. Quote
Guest Starsky Posted February 4, 2004 Report Posted February 4, 2004 Originally posted by Cal@Feb 3 2004, 09:11 PM As I said, hurt feelings has nothing to do with it. That some of you insist that it does simply reveals that you have not yet investigated the church from an unbias point of view. I have, and am happy to share my findings with you all. Actually, I have investigated the church from an unbias point of view...which only proves you haven't invetigated the findings about 'inactives' from and unbiased point of view.I will admit that there are those who just don't jive with the church....but I think they are far less numerous than those who leave because of hurt feelings, or other kinds of abuse within the social and authoritative realms of the church. Quote
Guest bat Posted February 4, 2004 Report Posted February 4, 2004 I wonder how many people leave the church because "it simply isn't true". If RFM is any indication, I'd guess about 80%. Quote
StrawberryFields Posted February 4, 2004 Author Report Posted February 4, 2004 I am not sure what RFM is but I can understand the psychology behind some people wanting to find fault because they don't want to admit having hurt feelings. It is much easier to say that the church is wrong then to say I have been emotionally damaged by someone in or connected with the church. Quote
Guest bat Posted February 4, 2004 Report Posted February 4, 2004 Originally posted by Strawberry Fields@Feb 3 2004, 11:05 PM I am not sure what RFM is but I can understand the psychology behind some people wanting to find fault because they don't want to admit having hurt feelings. It is much easier to say that the church is wrong then to say I have been emotionally damaged by someone in or connected with the church. How can you make an asessment, based on something that you know nothing about, despite the fact that I gave you a hyperlink? Quote
StrawberryFields Posted February 4, 2004 Author Report Posted February 4, 2004 Originally posted by bat+Feb 4 2004, 12:22 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bat @ Feb 4 2004, 12:22 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Strawberry Fields@Feb 3 2004, 11:05 PM I am not sure what RFM is but I can understand the psychology behind some people wanting to find fault because they don't want to admit having hurt feelings. It is much easier to say that the church is wrong then to say I have been emotionally damaged by someone in or connected with the church. How can you make an asessment, based on something that you know nothing about, despite the fact that I gave you a hyperlink? I do know something about the subject. I happen to have known many of my neighbors over the years who have left the church because of the reasons listed above. Some people I know couldn't live up to the word of wisdom and they fell away. Quote
Guest bat Posted February 4, 2004 Report Posted February 4, 2004 Originally posted by Strawberry Fields+Feb 3 2004, 11:40 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Strawberry Fields @ Feb 3 2004, 11:40 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Originally posted by -bat@Feb 4 2004, 12:22 AM <!--QuoteBegin--Strawberry Fields@Feb 3 2004, 11:05 PM I am not sure what RFM is but I can understand the psychology behind some people wanting to find fault because they don't want to admit having hurt feelings. It is much easier to say that the church is wrong then to say I have been emotionally damaged by someone in or connected with the church. How can you make an asessment, based on something that you know nothing about, despite the fact that I gave you a hyperlink? I do know something about the subject. I happen to have known many of my neighbors over the years who have left the church because of the reasons listed above. Some people I know couldn't live up to the word of wisdom and they fell away. Is that what they, themselves told you? Quote
StrawberryFields Posted February 4, 2004 Author Report Posted February 4, 2004 Yes, they told me their stories why they left. Something that I might need to clarify here is that I love people just because who they are. I grew up in a less active home. My parents took me to church and then picked me up when it was over. They taught me right from wrong and they introduced me to people from all walks of life. I learned as a child that there is good in almost everyone. I grew up in Utah and most of my friends were LDS so I continued to go to Mutual and that is where I began to feel the pain and judgments of people with my parents. Being a teenager is hard enough but when everyone knows that your parents smoke and drink you can become a target for ridicule. I myself struggled with wanting to belong to an organization that would so judgmental on people they didn't even know. There was a period of time where I didn't really know what I wanted. I hung around a group of people who called them selves the beer drinkers and hell raisers. Life was all about fun and friends. Then when I became a senior in high school I was strongly attracted to a guy whom I have been married to for almost 22 years. He was the president of my seminary class and he made my heart race. We had gone to school together for four years and I just only knew him by face. I was about engaged to one of the group of hell raisers but I broke it off. Looking back I believe that I needed to have a taste of "both" worlds so that I could decide for myself what I wanted in my life. The time was now right and that is why I feel in love with my now husband. The "rest of the story" is now history...we went on a mission and I went to college in Ca. and my testimony of the church grew. We were married two months and ten days from the day he walked off the plane. I have learned not to judge people because of their lifestyle. I believe that my openness to people have made them feel comfortable to share why they have left the church. I have many friends who are not active members of the church and I love them just as much as I do the others. Yes, I do want my friends to find an inner peace and joy that I have found from living the gospel but I choose to teach by example. I will never condemn someone for the way in which they choose to live their life unless it hurts someone else like a child. I also don't regret those hard years I went through as a teenager they have taught me so much compassion. My life has not been perfect in the church either; it has been full of good times and hardships as well. I believe that I have had enough exposure to what it feels like with the church out of my life and in my life and I choose to have it in my life. No, the members of the church are not perfect. I have become aware, more then ever, that the reason people go to church is to learn and grow it is all part of the process. I will do my best to stop trying to make others here see what I see in this matter. Quote
Lindy Posted February 4, 2004 Report Posted February 4, 2004 Bat/SF Bat~You can't live in Utah and not run into people who tell you why they had left the church, beit Doctrine, lack of respect, or hurt feelings over something. My ex left the church due to laziness and the attitude that he couldn't (or didn't want to) follow the rules and regs...he felt stiffled as a person. I've talked to several people who felt the same and walked away, I also have talked to others who left their wards because of the lack of compassion from ward members (they got their feelings hurt or feelings of loved ones which were hurt), and I have talked to those who had issues with church doctrine and left the church over that. Now those that left the church will somewhere down the line either a) go back to church and try again, b... find another church and accept the doctrine of that faith...denouncing the LDS doctrine or c) turn completly against religion as a whole... All IMHO...these are just what I see happening. I know you didn't ask me to elaborate on what I felt.....but you know me....if I have something to say....I say it SF~Your opinions and your testimony are very important to this board....I think I can speak for others when I say that you have some very important things to share from your heart that help others think or rethink. You have such a tender and sweet spirit that others can see and feel, I sometimes forget what tender is like....I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, I feel like a heel. I owe you a smily face.... :) Bat~ Be a good boy and give SF a smiley face..... Quote
Guest curvette Posted February 4, 2004 Report Posted February 4, 2004 Originally posted by Strawberry Fields@Feb 3 2004, 11:05 PM I am not sure what RFM is but I can understand the psychology behind some people wanting to find fault because they don't want to admit having hurt feelings. It is much easier to say that the church is wrong then to say I have been emotionally damaged by someone in or connected with the church. Straw: RFM is the Recovery from Mormonism website. If you are trying to rebuild your faith and stick to faith promoting experiences--DON'T go there. The people there are real. They have left for a myriad of reasons and they have diverse personalities and varying degrees of anger towards the church. You wonder why they have anger. Generally because they feel they were deceived into wasting years of their lives in an organization they feel is built on a lie. Once they hit that point they become angry and many of them don't get over it for a long time. It's just not fair or right to make a blanket statement about people who lose their testimonies. It very well may be some people get hurt, but the reasons vary tremendously. Again--this is not a website you would be comfortable visiting. I've looked at it a couple of times, but it's pretty negative and depressing. Quote
Guest bat Posted February 4, 2004 Report Posted February 4, 2004 Originally posted by Strawberry Fields@Feb 4 2004, 08:45 AM Yes, they told me their stories why they left. Something that I might need to clarify here is that I love people just because who they are. I grew up in a less active home. My parents took me to church and then picked me up when it was over. They taught me right from wrong and they introduced me to people from all walks of life. I learned as a child that there is good in almost everyone. I grew up in Utah and most of my friends were LDS so I continued to go to Mutual and that is where I began to feel the pain and judgments of people with my parents. Being a teenager is hard enough but when everyone knows that your parents smoke and drink you can become a target for ridicule. I myself struggled with wanting to belong to an organization that would so judgmental on people they didn't even know. There was a period of time where I didn't really know what I wanted. I hung around a group of people who called them selves the beer drinkers and hell raisers. Life was all about fun and friends. Then when I became a senior in high school I was strongly attracted to a guy whom I have been married to for almost 22 years. He was the president of my seminary class and he made my heart race. We had gone to school together for four years and I just only knew him by face. I was about engaged to one of the group of hell raisers but I broke it off. Looking back I believe that I needed to have a taste of "both" worlds so that I could decide for myself what I wanted in my life. The time was now right and that is why I feel in love with my now husband. The "rest of the story" is now history...we went on a mission and I went to college in Ca. and my testimony of the church grew. We were married two months and ten days from the day he walked off the plane.I have learned not to judge people because of their lifestyle. I believe that my openness to people have made them feel comfortable to share why they have left the church. I have many friends who are not active members of the church and I love them just as much as I do the others. Yes, I do want my friends to find an inner peace and joy that I have found from living the gospel but I choose to teach by example. I will never condemn someone for the way in which they choose to live their life unless it hurts someone else like a child. I also don't regret those hard years I went through as a teenager they have taught me so much compassion. My life has not been perfect in the church either; it has been full of good times and hardships as well. I believe that I have had enough exposure to what it feels like with the church out of my life and in my life and I choose to have it in my life. No, the members of the church are not perfect. I have become aware, more then ever, that the reason people go to church is to learn and grow it is all part of the process.I will do my best to stop trying to make others here see what I see in this matter. If we only had more people like you. :) Quote
Lindy Posted February 4, 2004 Report Posted February 4, 2004 Generally because they feel they were deceived into wasting years of their lives in an organization they feel is built on a lie.Boy, did that bring back memories....Almost word for word what I heard. Woe, that took me aback, and I can still hear the voice of the person who said it. Quote
Guest antishock82003 Posted February 5, 2004 Report Posted February 5, 2004 I definitely left the Church because of hurt feelings. That's not a Good Reason to leave the Church. The Church is True. Quote
StrawberryFields Posted February 5, 2004 Author Report Posted February 5, 2004 Originally posted by antishock82003@Feb 4 2004, 09:18 PM I definitely left the Church because of hurt feelings.That's not a Good Reason to leave the Church.The Church is True. B) Quote
StrawberryFields Posted February 5, 2004 Author Report Posted February 5, 2004 Lindy and Bat~ Having friends like you enrich my life. Thanks for everything you continue to teach me. :) Quote
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