Republican National Committee Convention Schedule

[Winnie G]

Republican National Committee Convention Schedule

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd

Amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris "Are Elections Really

Necessary ?"

7:30 PM Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan

7:35 PM Trent Lott - "Re-segregation in the 21st Century"

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future

9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires

9:30 PM break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple

10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho

Even When You Feel Squishy Inside

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights stare"

10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt

10:45 PM GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi Rice

10:46 PM Ann Coulter's Tribute to: Joe McCarthy, American Patriot.

10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñ! ata

11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt.Rushmore

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[Guest TheProudDuck]

Funny enough, I guess.

Although if I were a soft-jazz listening conventional-wisdom nicey-nice liberal, I might question the wisdom of "demonizing" (libs love that word) one's opponents so. Foolish people (and Michael Moore-style liberals think Americans are unusually foolish people) might take the caricatures seriously, and lead your party into the fever swamps.

But I'm not a soft-jazz listening conventional-wisdom nicey-nice liberal, and so I say it's all in good fun. I like P.J. O'Rourke for the same reason (he's even funnier). Plus, the more the Left portrays President Bush as a horrible theocratic fascist, the lower they set the bar for him to climb over to win the election: All he has to do to convince the undecided voter that his opponents are wrong is to show he's not Hitler, which isn't too hard to do.

[Jenda]

Call me when it is time for the Hilary Clinton pinata. I love politically themed pinatas.

[Winnie G]

[Guest TheProudDuck]

Originally posted by Jenda@Sep 22 2004, 11:56 AM

Call me when it is time for the Hilary Clinton pinata. I love politically themed pinatas.

Before I watch any anti-war protests, I always ask if there will be giant puppets. I won't go if there are no giant puppets.

[Guest Traci]

Originally posted by TheProudDuck@Sep 22 2004, 11:29 AM

Funny enough, I guess.

I wonder a bit at what sorts of minds think it's important to put strict limits on funny. Oh yeah, conservative religious types.

[Outshined]

[Guest Traci]

Originally posted by Outshined@Sep 23 2004, 05:43 AM

     

:) :) :) :)

[Outshined]

Originally posted by Traci+Sep 23 2004, 06:02 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Traci @ Sep 23 2004, 06:02 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Outshined@Sep 23 2004, 05:43 AM

     

:) :) :) :)

[Guest TheProudDuck]

Originally posted by Traci+Sep 23 2004, 04:37 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Traci @ Sep 23 2004, 04:37 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--TheProudDuck@Sep 22 2004, 11:29 AM

Funny enough, I guess.

I wonder a bit at what sorts of minds think it's important to put strict limits on funny. Oh yeah, conservative religious types.

Try telling an off-color joke around a radical feminist and see if she laughs.

We members of the vast right wing conspiracy have boatloads more humor than the crabby pinched crusaders on the left.

I mean, I said Winnie's joke was funny.

[Guest Traci]

Originally posted by TheProudDuck@Sep 23 2004, 12:10 PM

Try telling an off-color joke around a radical feminist and see if she laughs. 

Well, if by radical feminist you were to mean those who insist on staying home, baking pies for their man and cookies for their eight children, believing anything and everything their husband tells them to believe, and must resort to anti-depressants on a regular basis, then yeah, they probably only laugh when commanded to do so.

[Cal]

Originally posted by Traci+Sep 23 2004, 04:37 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Traci @ Sep 23 2004, 04:37 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--TheProudDuck@Sep 22 2004, 11:29 AM

Funny enough, I guess.

I wonder a bit at what sorts of minds think it's important to put strict limits on funny. Oh yeah, conservative religious types.

Traci---I like your avatar! Hey, if the Repubs can make Hilary into a Pinata, we can make mirror images of the Shrub.

[Guest TheProudDuck]

Originally posted by Traci+Sep 24 2004, 05:54 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Traci @ Sep 24 2004, 05:54 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--TheProudDuck@Sep 23 2004, 12:10 PM

Try telling an off-color joke around a radical feminist and see if she laughs. 

Well, if by radical feminist you were to mean those who insist on staying home, baking pies for their man and cookies for their eight children, believing anything and everything their husband tells them to believe, and must resort to anti-depressants on a regular basis, then yeah, they probably only laugh when commanded to do so.

You know, most of us benighted conservatives really don't hate you as much as you hate us. Not whining or anything, but you've got more anger than the Clinton-haters of the 1990s. And they were annoying enough.