Out Of The Mouth Of Bab's

[Winnie G]

1. Dear God ... Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. Amanda

2. Dear God ... Thank you for the baby brother, but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Joyce

3. Dear Mr. God ... I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot. Janet

4. God ... I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Alison

5. Dear God ... How did you know you were God? Who told you?! Charlene

6. Dear God ... Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house? Anita

7. Dear God ... I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. Nancy

8. Dear God ... I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water too. Glenn

9. Dear God ... My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go? Love, Dennis

10. Dear God ... Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does? Nathan

11. Dear God ... Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident? Norma

12. Dear God ... In bible times, did they really talk that fancy? Jennifer

13. Dear God ... How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now? Billy

14. Dear God ... Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year. Peter

15. Dear God ... Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother. Larry

16. Dear God ... I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget. Mark

17. Dear God ... My brother told me about how you are born, but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say? Marsha

18. Dear God ... If you watch in Church on Sunday, I will show you my new shoes. Barbara

19. Dear God ... Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours or do you just know him through the business? Donny

20. Dear God ... I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God. Charles

21. Dear God ... It is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon? Jeff

22. Dear God ... I am doing the best I can. Really. Frank

And, saving the best for last ...

23. Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.! Thomas

:)

[Guest bat]

That reminds me of XTC:

Dear God,

Hope you got the letter,

And I pray you can make it better down here.

I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer,

But all the people that you made in your image,

See them starving on their feet,

'Cause they don't get enough to eat

From God,

I can't believe in you.

Dear God,

sorry to disturb you,

but I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.

We all need a big reduction in amount of tears,

And all the people that you made in your image,

See them fighting in the street,

'Cause they can't make opinions meet,

About God,

I can't believe in you.

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?

Did you make mankind after we made you?

And the devil too!

Dear God,

Don't know if you noticed,

But your name is on a lot of quotes in this book.

Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,

And all the people that you made in your image,

Still believing that junk is true.

Well I know it ain't and so do you,

Dear God,

I can't believe in,

I don't believe in,

I won't believe in heaven and hell.

No saints, no sinners,

No Devil as well.

No pearly gates, no thorny crown.

You're always letting us humans down.

The wars you bring, the babes you drown.

Those lost at sea and never found,

And it's the same the whole world 'round.

The hurt I see helps to compound,

that the Father, Son and Holy Ghost,

Is just somebody's unholy hoax,

And if you're up there you'll perceive,

That my heart's here upon my sleeve.

If there's one thing I don't believe in...

It's you,

Dear God.

[Guest bat]

I used to work with a mormon that once said: "That's such a stupid song, He's talking to g-d and telling him that he doesn't believe in him."

I told him, "Well that's the point, isn't it?"

Every second of every day, there is somebody that is talking to their rendering of a magical being/space alien/dead person/creator of all that which we do not understand. If a person stops believing in their imaginary lifelong friend, doesn't it make sense to tell that imaginary person that one no longer has a belief in him? How else do you say goodbye to someone that you love that has never existed?

[Dravin]

I used to work with a mormon that once said: "That's such a stupid song, He's talking to g-d and telling him that he doesn't believe in him."

He's right, but then it's a song, there are lots of nonsensical songs out there, some of them pretty good.

How else do you say goodbye to someone that you love that has never existed?

Become an alcoholic until you start believing again? :)

[Jenifer]

Originally posted by Dravin@Sep 24 2004, 12:17 AM

I used to work with a mormon that once said: "That's such a stupid song, He's talking to g-d and telling him that he doesn't believe in him."

He's right, but then it's a song, there are lots of nonsensical songs out there, some of them pretty good.

How else do you say goodbye to someone that you love that has never existed?

Become an alcoholic until you start believing again? :)

Drinking alcohol makes you believe in g-d?

[Guest bat]

He's right, but then it's a song, there are lots of nonsensical songs out there, some of them pretty good.

Just because something doesn't make sense to you, does not make it nonsensical. Good or otherwise.

Become an alcoholic until you start believing again? :)

Uh huh, that is one alternative to facing reality. I hear cognitive dissonance does wonders for that too, though I wouldn't know, myself.

[Guest bat]

Originally posted by Jenifer@Sep 23 2004, 11:32 PM

Drinking alcohol makes you believe in g-d?

D--r, y--'v- --l--v-d -n m- f-r q--t- s-m- t-m- n-w. H-w c-n y-- -v-n -sk th-t q--st--n?

[Jenifer]

Originally posted by bat+Sep 24 2004, 12:37 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bat @ Sep 24 2004, 12:37 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Jenifer@Sep 23 2004, 11:32 PM

Drinking alcohol makes you believe in g-d? 

D--r, y--'v- --l--v-d -n m- f-r q--t- s-m- t-m- n-w. H-w c-n y-- -v-n -sk th-t q--st--n?

I suppose you're going to strike down upon me with great vengeance and furious anger now....

[Guest bat]

Originally posted by Jenifer+Sep 23 2004, 11:47 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Jenifer @ Sep 23 2004, 11:47 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Originally posted by -bat@Sep 24 2004, 12:37 AM

<!--QuoteBegin--Jenifer@Sep 23 2004, 11:32 PM

Drinking alcohol makes you believe in g-d? 

D--r, y--'v- --l--v-d -n m- f-r q--t- s-m- t-m- n-w. H-w c-n y-- -v-n -sk th-t q--st--n?

I suppose you're going to strike down upon me with great vengeance and furious anger now....

For misunderstanding the written word penned by fallible humans? HECK NO! 2000 years ago, people were flaming superstitious idiots and xtians still believe things that they wrote to this day (I would call them morons, but there are some on this here board). I fault thee not for misunderstanding the ways of the true b-t. I forgive you, and do not condemn you to eternal torment in an imaginary really hot place for doing something that you did not know was in error.

How come the magical bad place (hell) isn't really cold in the summer? Wouldn't that make it suck more? Cold in the summer and really hot in the winter? Oh yea, semantics over an imaginary place...........

[Guest bat]

Originally posted by Jenifer+Sep 23 2004, 11:32 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Jenifer @ Sep 23 2004, 11:32 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Dravin@Sep 24 2004, 12:17 AM

I used to work with a mormon that once said: "That's such a stupid song, He's talking to g-d and telling him that he doesn't believe in him."

He's right, but then it's a song, there are lots of nonsensical songs out there, some of them pretty good.

How else do you say goodbye to someone that you love that has never existed?

Become an alcoholic until you start believing again? :)

Drinking alcohol makes you believe in g-d?

No, it invokes warm fuzzy feelings. Just like reading the Bom. That means that beer is divinely inspired by g-d. Yay!

[Jenifer]

Originally posted by bat+Sep 24 2004, 12:57 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bat @ Sep 24 2004, 12:57 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Originally posted by -Jenifer@Sep 23 2004, 11:47 PM

Originally posted by -bat@Sep 24 2004, 12:37 AM

<!--QuoteBegin--Jenifer@Sep 23 2004, 11:32 PM

Drinking alcohol makes you believe in g-d? 

D--r, y--'v- --l--v-d -n m- f-r q--t- s-m- t-m- n-w. H-w c-n y-- -v-n -sk th-t q--st--n?

I suppose you're going to strike down upon me with great vengeance and furious anger now....

For misunderstanding the written word penned by fallible humans? HECK NO! 2000 years ago, people were flaming superstitious idiots and xtians still believe things that they wrote to this day (I would call them morons, but there are some on this here board). I fault thee not for misunderstanding the ways of the true b-t. I forgive you, and do not condemn you to eternal torment in an imaginary really hot place for doing something that you did not know was in error.

How come the magical bad place (hell) isn't really cold in the summer? Wouldn't that make it suck more? Cold in the summer and really hot in the winter? Oh yea, semantics over an imaginary place...........

No, cold in the summer would make it enticing to me.

So...where do people go who deny the Ch-rch -f B-t?

[Dravin]

Drinking alcohol makes you believe in g-d? 

Doubt it, but if you drink long enough and hard enough I imagine the chances of you developing a friend nobody can see or hear increases, either that or you'll do enough brain damage you'll start to forget you don't believe in your best imaginary friend Billy anymore.

Just because something doesn't make sense to you, does not make it nonsensical. Good or otherwise.

Yes it does, just ask Traci, I know all things. :)

Talking to something you do not believe exists is nonsensical, it does not make sense as the being does not exist to hear you. That said, people do all sorts of nonsensical things, such as talking to plants or pets (in the case of pets on a level beyond their comprehension), or even talking to inanimate objects like a car that won't start, it's a common experience, but it's still nonsensical.

[Guest bat]

Originally posted by Jenifer@Sep 24 2004, 12:01 AM

So...where do people go who deny the Ch-rch -f B-t?

They have to drink Utah beer. Mwahahahaha

[Blessed]

Originally posted by bat@Sep 23 2004, 11:05 PM

That reminds me of XTC:

Dear God,

Hope you got the letter,

And I pray you can make it better down here.

I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer,

But all the people that you made in your image,

See them starving on their feet,

'Cause they don't get enough to eat

From God,

I can't believe in you.

Dear God,

sorry to disturb you,

but I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.

We all need a big reduction in amount of tears,

And all the people that you made in your image,

See them fighting in the street,

'Cause they can't make opinions meet,

About God,

I can't believe in you.

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?

Did you make mankind after we made you?

And the devil too!

Dear God,

Don't know if you noticed,

But your name is on a lot of quotes in this book.

Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,

And all the people that you made in your image,

Still believing that junk is true.

Well I know it ain't and so do you,

Dear God,

I can't believe in,

I don't believe in,

I won't believe in heaven and hell.

No saints, no sinners,

No Devil as well.

No pearly gates, no thorny crown.

You're always letting us humans down.

The wars you bring, the babes you drown.

Those lost at sea and never found,

And it's the same the whole world 'round.

The hurt I see helps to compound,

that the Father, Son and Holy Ghost,

Is just somebody's unholy hoax,

And if you're up there you'll perceive,

That my heart's here upon my sleeve.

If there's one thing I don't believe in...

It's you,

Dear God.

Wow... I remember that song. Guess that dates me.