How do I support my husband?

[FunkyTown]

Is it wrong for me to question my husband's worthiness to hold the priesthood? I'm hurting so much right now over my own thoughts. I don't ask him for blessings when I need them because I don't believe in his worthiness. How terrible is that!!!!!

He's always complaining about other people and their worthiness and it drives me crazy! The minute we get out of Church on Sundays he starts up with how, 'so and so did this or that', or so and so said...' If I try to say anything it just starts a fight -- so I remain quiet and fume while he rants. He's a truck driver and I hate it when he calls other drivers names like, jerk, idiot and a lot of times the B word.

The other night I couldn't hold my temper. We were watching the news and the subject of gay marriage, etc. came up and he said, "We should just get rid of those F (derogatory term for gay)." Now I know that he hasn't been a member for a long time and I try to give him some room when it comes to understanding the gospel, but.....he has been a member long enough and is in the Elder Quorum presidency as Second Counselor and should know by now that statements like that are appalling to say the least. I'm afraid I let him have it. "I said that they are our brothers and sisters and we should love them the same way we love each other." He replied, "They can't be members. They would be excomunicated if they were." I said, "They most certainly can and are members." He looked at me and said, "I hope not." I was shocked, I just look at him. I couldn't say anything more. He has shown bigotry in other forms as well.

It saddens me that he doesn't seem to grasp our Savior's teachings. I haven't been a member very long either but some things are very clear to me.

He gets very defensive when I bring up these concerns and we end up in a fight. Daily, almost hourly, I pray that his heart will be softened and that my words will not come out offensive.

What else can I do? How can I overcome my feelings/thoughts that he is unworthy? When I hear a sister say they are grateful for the priesthood in their home -- I get very sad because of my thoughts. I don't feel like I have the priesthood in my home.

Many times, I have heard members with similar ideology to your husbands. If all of them were unworthy to hold the priesthood, there would be entire swaths of land where the Priesthood didn't exist. You sound like someone who genuinely loves your fellow man. That speaks volumes of your patience and generosity of soul.

Personally, I'd recommend that you continue praying. Pray that you find the right words, that you can say things non-confrontationally, and that you can understand your husbands point of view. Here's what I'd suggest:

Ask your husband to pray about how you can help your neighbors with you. Say you think it would be a wonderful idea to be able to provide something for those who need help. Then, suggest that you volunteer at a gay and lesbian support group in your area. Or even attend a 'Friends and family of gays and lesbians' support group. Listen to their stories, do what you can to be loving and supportive.

If your husband has to serve someone, he can't hate them. Or he can choose not to serve someone and to be blatantly offensive, in which case he has actively made the choice not to follow scripture.