Dating Dilemma

[Guest Lexish]

So, I'm in a bit of a situation, and figured this may be a good place to ask.

When I was 16 I started dating a young man in my ward at home. We were very serious, and a year and a half later he left on a mission to Russia. I told him I would write to him, but didn't want to promise anything. We were well set in the comfortable "I love you"s, and I don't regret writing to him one bit, because it has been great. Back to my point.

I came to BYU at the beginning of last semester, my missionary-boyfriend had been out almost six months. I didn't really want to date or anything, but I would go out occasionally. Then... yes, then there was someone I went out with more often, until at one point after Christmas break it became apparent that we were in a 'relationship', even if I refused to admit it.

Despite the budding spirituality all around me, my own testimony has been shaky at best here. This guy I met happens to be a recent BYU graduate who is from Russia and not actually LDS at all. I know that posting this question on the LDS boards will elicit a certain "get a testimony!" response, and I guess that is fine if you have sound advice. I'm just unsure what to do. I suppose what I want to do is stop dating this guy, however I'm scared to because (1) I do like him (2) he is a very close friend now (3) I have a hard time expressing myself in person, which would be the only way to do this.

Anyway, that is it for now, any suggestions?

[Elgama]

have you had a blessing?

-Charley

[tubaloth]

I suppose what I want to do is stop dating this guy, however I'm scared to because (1) I do like him (2) he is a very close friend now (3) I have a hard time expressing myself in person, which would be the only way to do this.

Stop dating a guy has nothing to do with abandoning everything about this guy.

You have to figure out where YOU want your life to go! Do you want it to go through the Church, the temple and so forth. If so, that is what you don’t want to abandon. If this guy fits in line with the goals you have then go for it! If he doesn’t, then you can explain that to him. Tell him this is what I see in my life. You might have to go separate ways.

[Guest Lexish]

Elgama - No, I haven't. I have thought about asking my grandpa or someone, but, weird as this may sound, it seems too personal. *sigh* I realize that is backwards, and exactly why I should do it.

Tubaloth - Sometimes it is hard to remember that dating and friendship are two different things, thank you! I will have to think some more about this.

[FunkyTown]

Elgama - No, I haven't. I have thought about asking my grandpa or someone, but, weird as this may sound, it seems too personal. *sigh* I realize that is backwards, and exactly why I should do it.

Tubaloth - Sometimes it is hard to remember that dating and friendship are two different things, thank you! I will have to think some more about this.

Hi Lexish,

I appreciate what you're going through and I understand how hard it is to write some of these things down.

Just know that, regardless of what it seems like right now(Being surrounded by the alumni of BYU), everyone goes through a struggle with their testimony at some point in their life. Right now, you're experiencing what everyone young adult does: They have to grow in to their own testimony as they stretch out and experience life, finding out what it is that they really believe.

Try attending the temple. Find friendships among those who believe like you do as well; Nobody is expected to make it purely on their own.

Many people experience, when going forth from high school, a feeling of isolation and sadness. This isn't just you. Know that you aren't alone, that you shouldn't be afraid. Know that you're loved.

When you've done that, look frankly at your life and decide where you want it to go and what you believe. When you can do that free of fear, you can make the decision and trust in God that He'll keep you safe.

[weaselv12]

I am sorry about your situation, but coming from a guy i would say wait for the elder to get home and then see how you fill about him then.

But the other side of me is saying go with the one you truly like most, of course you should pray and ask for gods answer or you could fast.

i will pray for you daughter of god.