Elgama

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  1. Elgama

    18 Year Old Rutgers Student Commits Suicide

    It is a serious misapplication of a phrase. It isn't funny to the teen who has heard their parents say it, and can't as a result approach them. We don't say heterosexuality is a sin - however it is when used inappropriately for every warning against homosexuality in the scriptures there are 6 warnings against misapplication of heterosexual relationships in the scriptures. General Conference has similar ratios. Which is why I am suggesting people think before they speak
  2. Elgama

    18 Year Old Rutgers Student Commits Suicide

    Right but so many people yourself included say homosexuality is a sin - which when phrased like that puts the onus on the person to change their innards and who they are rather than refraining from an action. Why not phrase it as breaking the law of chastity is a sin and not condone that instead? I still think the lack of openess and the attitude discouraging it is what causes the darkness for a gay or lesbian teen - how many would really feel comfortable going to a parent and asking for a blessing for help? I have feared for the life of friends because of it. Having spent time talking to them, and listening, I mean really listening. As a result yes I think the Christian Community has a huge amount of blood on it's hands through lack of love and listening above all else. Like others have said this is a huge tragedy for this young man's family and I am fed up sitting back and watching it happen.
  3. Elgama

    18 Year Old Rutgers Student Commits Suicide

    nope not every homosexual is having sex or even has a partner. Doesn't change who they are. I think the fact you don't understand that much means you haven't really listened and this is precisely the attitude that causes the depression and suicide it forces people to keep quiet because if they say they are gay that assumes they are having sex. Most gay people I know have known they are such from very young ages usually under ten. They can't talk about what makes them tick or how they are different. No means to express that. I am not condoning anyone having a same sex relationship however I do think they need to take their concerns to the Lord. I would hope that even if they choose to remain faithful LDS if any of my children are gay/lesbian they can tell me and talk to me, with my support find the right way with the Lord for them. An awful lot can't do that now. I personally think being straight is as much a deviation as being gay it just doesn't keep you out the temple so is not as great a challenge- it removes choice. Personally i have the choice the idea of being with a woman does not revolt me I find women attractive. However I could choose to be with my husband because of who he is not what he is.
  4. Elgama

    18 Year Old Rutgers Student Commits Suicide

    So you wouldn't support her if she remained celibate or got married in the temple? Which is my point when you say you don't support her homosexuality you are saying you don't support her. Saying you don't approve her living with a partner is different. If I had chosen to marry the gay love of my life he wouldn't be any less gay, and it would need to be accepted. Heavenly Father can cure my fibromyalgia but he won't because it serves a purpose. How I choose to deal with my life's limitations as a result is down to me - he has enough faith in me to know I can. A gay/lesbian person may choose to do things differently but doesn't change the central core of who they are. Just like me raising 3 kids under seven doesn't mean I am cured just means we struggle and get through.
  5. Elgama

    18 Year Old Rutgers Student Commits Suicide

    Doesn't San Francisco have bigoted people? Homosexuality in the teen years presents massive problems when someone can't come out and just talk. It is not being mean that is the problem it is the idea that you have to bottle up what is going on, that you will be told your decision instead of guided to reach it. That I should imagine leads to the relationship break ups and mental health problems. The gay people I know who were able to come out to someone and have the support and love of their family are usually happilly monogamous in relationships of many years.
  6. Elgama

    18 Year Old Rutgers Student Commits Suicide

    The very fact we say homosexuality is wrong rather than breaking the law of chastity is wrong is an attack on the person rather than the act. That person will be homosexual whether or not they get married in the temple and have children but they will not be wrong. Instead of acknowledging the way it is, making all the resources available - to use prayer, study and blessings to make their decisions, get their own revelation and then trust God will make things right - we reject people for who they are rather than what they do. Yes I do think the Christian Community including many LDS have been responsible because of their attitude for many sucides because a person is not accepted for who they are they are condemnd for their inner feelings and thoughts not their actions. They don't allow a teen to accept their feelings - that is different to saying a teen can't do something. Like being overweight is not a sin breaking the word of wisdom is. Being homosexual is not a sin. I think our young people should be encouraged to speak freely to have all the resources thrown at them to take their own decision with God on the matter. Until that happens we are killing them. Many teens who are homosexual go through a horrendous scary and awful black time worried about the very essence, something they can't change being rejected. Instead let us accept they can't change it and help them make choices based on that. I think openess is important even more so if that person goes on to get married - being gay will present that marriage with issues and challenges it is important to be aware of so they can be dealt with. I can't help but wonder how many abusive relationships may come out of the fear and revulsion within and aimed at the spouse and being unable to explain. Right now the culture the Christian Community fosters and many church members foster is not healthy and leads to destruction for 10-30% of our membership that is a lot of people.
  7. Elgama

    Ok now what

    Thing is unless the partriachal blessing states mortality that mission can be any time in eternity. It may be the Lord uses him in ways you don't know. Have you had a blessing about this? My husband went on his mission at 19, but it is not the mission laid out in his patriachal blessing.
  8. Elgama

    Ok now what

    Does his patriachal blessing specify when he will serve his mission? If not maybe he is right and right now is not he time.
  9. Elgama

    Insanely Frustrated

    not a husband my mother is an alcoholic and my dad is addicted to sex, maybe you should punch him lol I don't think it is mean that you want to - he should be aware of your feelings he is doing it to you and it is the consequences of the behaviour.
  10. Not to mention if we are going to use it to make any conclusions, men should all be celebate and women should all be lesbians. Most gay men I know are monogamous. More likely to be so than heterosexual men. One of the most outspoken gay men on UK TV and possibly US TV as well has been with his partner for sixteen years, and is working to show there isn't a lot of difference. between a gay couple and a straight one. YouTube - ReelGay John Barrowman Cute Moment I am not sure how this relationship at it's core is much different to mine with my husband.
  11. Elgama

    What age for makeup?

    Well given it was my brother's makeup brushes I used when I got married - I personally don't think it should be restricted, to women. My brother is way more knowledgable than me. Also I am tempted to ban it in my family until my daughter is comfortable going out without it. I want it to be an option for her rather than a necessity, in fact the responses here have convinced me it is important to do it this way. Quite a few men these days cover up blemishes along with their skin care routine. My father has done both since the 70s.
  12. Elgama

    What age for makeup?

    Not sure why the law of chastity and periods are that difficult to deal with. I can't see Heavenly Father keeping me out of the celestial kingdom because I don't wear makeup - he may however decide to if I am the town tramp. I have talked to my kids about sex and respecting their bodies since they were born - but I will be encouraging my daughter and sons to only wear makeup when on the stage. She is beautiful she doesn't need to ruin her face with it. I certainly will not be encouraging them to wear it.
  13. Elgama

    What age for makeup?

    wait and see if they want to before worrying about it, personally it never bothered me. I wore some occasionally when I was 15-20 (like once a month). I wore a little on my wedding day at 25 and that has been it in the past 14 years or so. Don't see why it will be difficult for you I have three brothers all of which are more capable with makeup than I am. (they all had acne really bad as teens) My youngest is a hairdresser and beautician. I personally don't see the point in it and I much prefer a natural face. Don't push something on them that is going to ruin their skin until they show an interest. Make letting them know they are beautiful the priority - I have already told my daughter she is too beautiful for makeup:)
  14. Elgama

    Read before 12:34 today!!

    however on the 10th October we will have 10/10/10:)
  15. Elgama

    Children and the Sacrament

    I can't help but think of the time when Jesus reprimanded the apostles for not allowing the children through.