Great Article

[Kevin]

Here's a great article that I think those considering divorce ought to consider.

http://www.smartmarriages.com/coleman.html

[Spencer]

Good article, thanks Kevin.

Spencer

[Behunin]

The selfishness of adultery has consequences that last a lifetime.

[Cal]

The article certainly raises a lot of sensitive issues about life, love, children and marriage.

Unfortunately there is no one set of rules that you can apply to every circumstance. However, there are a few things to be said:

1) No matter how good a job YOU do at trying to keep a relationship together, you can't always control what the other partner NEEDS or how he/she is going to change over time. I agree that being unfaithful is NEVER a good alternative. If you absolutely have to get out, do it with integrity and maturity.

2) In spite of divorce, children CAN still come out OK if......

a. The parents do a good job of not fighting in front of the children

b. Treat eachother with respect, at least in front of the children

c. The parents make it very clear to the children that the divorce is not their fault.

d. Both parents stay positively involved in the lives of the children

e. The parents are mature enough to realize that their children do not "belong" to them as though they were property to be "owned" and that it is often in the best interests of the children to be able to have good feelings about about step parents. This means that the parents do not denigrate the step parent, but support the relationship of their children with the step parent. Tough to do, but essential to the health development of the child.

f. The parents put the welfare of their children ahead of their own need to "get even" or punish the ex spouse.

g. The parents support the relationship the kids have with the ex spouse. Never criticizing the ex spouse.

Unfortunately, this is an ideal not often achieved, and so kids suffer more than they should in divorces.

[lash4160]

That was a great article

And having been divorce years ago I feel that my kids have

grown up pretty good

they have thier goals and know what the gospel is in thier lifes.

Besides she divorced me. B)

[Guest bat]

Originally posted by lash4160@Feb 10 2004, 11:16 PM

That was a great article

And having been divorce years ago I feel that my kids have

grown up pretty good

they have thier goals and know what the gospel is in thier lifes.

Besides she divorced me. B)

Religious fanaticism didn't play any part in that, did it?

[lash4160]

Okay but they turned out to be good kids. B)

[Kevin]

Originally posted by bat+Feb 10 2004, 11:18 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bat @ Feb 10 2004, 11:18 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--lash4160@Feb 10 2004, 11:16 PM

That was a great article

And having been divorce years ago I feel that my kids have

grown up pretty good

they have thier goals and know what the gospel is in thier lifes.

Besides she divorced me. B)

Religious fanaticism didn't play any part in that, did it?

Probably not. I'll bet that denigration had something to do with it though.