Sealing and civil marriage

[bytor2112]

I lifted this from a thread at another forum....was curious to see what everyone thinks:

“A few years ago a young couple who lived in northern Utah came to Salt Lake City for their marriage. They did not want to bother with a temple marriage, or perhaps they did not feel worthy. At any rate, they had a civil marriage. After the marriage they got into their automobile and drove north to their home for a wedding reception. On their way home they had an accident, and when the wreckage was cleared, there was a dead man and a dead young woman. They had been married only an hour or two. Their marriage was ended. They thought they loved each other. They wanted to live together forever, but they did not live the commandments that would make that possible. So death came in and closed that career. They may have been good young people; I don’t know. But they will be angels in heaven if they are. They will not be gods and goddesses and priests and priestesses because they did not fulfill the commandments and do the things that were required at their hands.

“Sometimes we have people who say, ‘Oh, someday I will go to the temple. But I am not quite ready yet. And if I die, somebody can do the work for me in the temple.’ And that should be made very clear to all of us. The temples are for the living and for the dead only when the work could not have been done. Do you think that the Lord will be mocked and give to this young couple who ignored him, give them the blessings? The Lord said, ‘For all contracts that are not made unto this end have an end when men are dead.’ (D&C 132:7)” (in Conference Report, Japan Area Conference 1975, pp. 61–62). - Spencer W. Kimball

My answer:

The blessings of the gospel.......the covenants we make are sacred and binding, provided we do our part. If this couple had been honoring the covenants made at baptism, they likely would have eagerly and joyously went to the Temple to receive the blessings that open the gate to Eternal life...no? So, if they weren't true and faithful and entered into a civil marriage....which dissolves at death, THEY and not the Lord made the choice. I understand your feelings, but, the Lord seems pretty cut and dry about most things. It's kind of like arguing whether or not their will be progression between kingdoms of glory........the Atonement is Infinite and Eternal, but the scriptures SEEM to indicate that their isn't progression.....dunno.

Therefore, when they are out of the world they neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven; which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those who are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory.

For these angels did not abide my law; therefore, they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all etemity; and from henceforth are not gods, but are angels of God forever and ever. [D&C 132:16-17]

My question:

Are sealings performed vicariously for members who choose civil marriages or only for non-members or both?

[Guest Alana]

I've never heard of not performing a vicarious sealing because the deceased were or weren't members. I think we do for both.

What I have a hard time with is that I made really bad decisions and didn't get married in the temple, now that I'm worthy to go to the temple, my husband isn't. So, does this mean I'll only be a administrating angel, but not of the highest level of the celestial kingdom?

Throw into the mix that my bishop thinks divorcing him is perfectly fine for the reason alone that he isn't active in church anymore.... throw some kids into the mix and you have a confused Alana. When it comes down to it though, I can't change the past but can do better every day from here on out though, right?

[Islander]

We have been commanded to be diligent in the work of the Lord. And this work that we do for our kindred dead will come to bear across the veil but ONLY in the Lord's due time. Just like a title of inheritance, although written and recorded, it is not executed and performed until the proper authority certifies that all requirements are met and the parties are present. So it will be with the ordinances thereof.

Rejecting the commandments and covenants of the Lord on account of our own sin has consequences. We are not sure what they will be. But rest assured, as it is written so shall it be, that it may have been better that they would not have known the word and the commandments of the Lord. For those that willfully rebel against Him and His truth shall be cut off. But who is to know the eternal mercies and the everlasting kindness of the Lord towards His children. We sorry for the loss of their lives and opportunities they had but we perform the ordinances as commanded. The rest is up to the Lord.

[foreverafter]

Throw into the mix that my bishop thinks divorcing him is perfectly fine for the reason alone that he isn't active in church anymore....

The Church allows us to do temple work & marriage sealings for both members & non-members. Whether or not the people themselves on the other side of the veil are worthy of such blessings is up to Heavenly Father.

Alana,

No matter what a bishop or any leader said, I would always follow the Prophets that say to put your husband's & children's needs, desires & eternal welfare 1st & never break your sacred marriage vows or give up on your spouse. Your loving service, faith & example could very well help your husband to come back to church again & marry you in the temple. The more you show him True Love & fulfill his every wish & need, the more he will soften & want to make you happy too & be with you forever.

It is never ever wrong to keep our marriage covenants & I know that if you keep your covenants, even though it is hard, it will bring far greater blessings to you & your husband & children, than breaking them to seek your own happiness ever could.

The Prophets have said that no matter what religion we are or no religion at all, we must honor our marriage covenants.

[Guest TheLutheran]

Bytor quoted:

"But they will be angels in heaven if they are. They will not be gods and goddesses and priests and priestesses because they did not fulfill the commandments and do the things that were required at their hands."

Do you believe there will be competitiveness, jealousy and discontent in heaven or will the angel feel blessed to be an angel?

[Guest Alana]

Bytor quoted:

"But they will be angels in heaven if they are. They will not be gods and goddesses and priests and priestesses because they did not fulfill the commandments and do the things that were required at their hands."

Do you believe there will be competitiveness, jealousy and discontent in heaven or will the angel feel blessed to be an angel?

Competitiveness and jealousy? No. Discontent? Well, if you're not able to progress, if you find yourself short of utter exaltation, then possibly.

[Wingnut]

Bytor, I'd always been taught that we should do all the work, and things will get sorted out on the other side. In the quote you presented, President Kimball stated that he didn't know the worthiness status of this couple. Maybe they were new members, and couldn't go to the temple yet. Maybe they had been breaking the law of chastity, she became pregnant, and they married so that they would be a family. Maybe they truly didn't feel ready or worthy to take on temple covenants. Maybe they were too lazy to make the commitments. We don't know. And we can't judge.

What I have a hard time with is that I made really bad decisions and didn't get married in the temple, now that I'm worthy to go to the temple, my husband isn't. So, does this mean I'll only be a administrating angel, but not of the highest level of the celestial kingdom?

Sorry to be picky, but it's a ministering angel. There's a big difference between ministering and administration. :)

The more you show him True Love & fulfill his every wish & need, the more he will soften & want to make you happy too & be with you forever.

Fulfill his every wish? I don't think so. Here are a list of some of my husband's wishes, which I have left unfulfilled:

• Buying a Camaro in lieu of a much-needed larger vehicle to accommodate a family
• Quitting his job to be a writer and/or a carpenter
• Buying a very large house and land out in the country
• Raising horses
• Using a motorcycle as his primary form of transportation
• Putting up a false wall in the basement, for the sole purpose of being able to watch TV/movies from a projector
• Buying a projector and sound system

Does this make me a bad wife?

For the record, here is a list some of my wishes, which my husband leaves unfulfilled:

• Getting a second car now
• Having perfectly flat and even marble countertops in my kitchen
• World travel (heck, domestic travel)
• New living room furniture
• A dining room table
• New rosebushes in the front yard because the color is one shade pinker than my preference
• A maid to clean my house and do my laundry.

Does this make him a bad husband?

Most of these things we will never be able to afford to do/have on my husband's salary. Some of them are eventualities (one day I will actually get new living room furniture). It's just not practical or realistic to say that we should fulfill our spouse's every wish. Even if I could, I don't think I would do it anyway.

[foreverafter]

It's just not practical or realistic to say that we should fulfill our spouse's every wish.

Of course it would include "unless it's something evil or dangerous they want or something you can't afford, etc." But the principle really does work & is the basis of True Love, putting all their needs & wants before our own.

Pres. Hinckley taught this principle & it's doing what Ammon did for the wicked King Lamoni to soften his heart & gain his trust & confidence, he served his every command valiantly & asked "What wilt thou that I should do for thee, O King?" I know that if we do this for our spouse daily, even if they don't do it for us yet, we will see miracles in our marriage & enjoy the exultant ecstacy with our spouse that Pres. Hinckley talked about.

[Guest Alana]

Sorry to be picky, but it's a ministering angel. There's a big difference between ministering and administration. :)

Well I was planning on being at the pearly gate, checking I.D.s, more of administrating position. Hehe... thank you for the correction.

[hordak]

Most of these things we will never be able to afford to do/have on my husband's salary.

of course not,because he doesn't have the time to write the next Best selling novel:p:D

on a serious note i agree with what you said