Should I Feel Depressed

[Guest jackvance88]

okay, this is gloomy, but:

i have been turned down for job after job in my professional field (lawyer) for the past 2 years since i graduated. i currently earn about $1500 per month before taxes. I know that a lot of families in this state have only one breadwinner who probably only earns a little more than that, but as a single person i still find it difficult, especially when i have to pay a minimum of $300 per month in student loan repayments, and send approximately $360 to the state tax commission and IRS so that i'm up to date with taxes at the end of the year. that leaves me $900 to pay rent and utilities (600), car (150) and gas (150), car insurance (100), medical insurance (100), and food and other expenses.

i have applied for nonprofessional jobs but i get turned down all the time when they see my resume. i then thought to omit that i'm a lawyer with 7 yrs of education, but how do i fill in a 9 yr gap that would create on my resume without being honest and not lying.

i have tried everything. getting licenses in other states (i now have california in addition to new york), cold calling employers, networking, recruiters, paying career consultants (i wasted $1400 on one last year), applying to advertised vacancies.

but it's not just that. i look like crap because i never buy clothing. i live alone in a crummy apartment which costs the bomb. i have few friends because i didn't marry before i turned 30, and still am not. i tried some activities at the suggestion of some posters here, and went to a few singles activities, but i dunno, i just can't click it with people. also, and this is just me and what i biologically am prpgrammed or whatever, but i'm just not attracted to 40+ women, even if they are hot. i'm early 30s and am pulled (or whatever word it is) to women in the 25-30 range. but where can i meet them? bars? should i go to YSD activities still when i can?

finally, i have no family nearby to confide in. i am lonely. i cry often because i just am so ashamed of my inability and attitude to shake myself out of this mental and emotional and spiritual rut that i am in. i have other problems too which i'm sure i have posted about, but don't feel like mentioning them again.

[Jason]

Originally posted by jackvance88@Sep 23 2005, 03:57 PM

okay, this is gloomy, but:

i have been turned down for job after job in my professional field (lawyer) for the past 2 years since i graduated. i currently earn about $1500 per month before taxes. I know that a lot of families in this state have only one breadwinner who probably only earns a little more than that, but as a single person i still find it difficult, especially when i have to pay a minimum of $300 per month in student loan repayments, and send approximately $360 to the state tax commission and IRS so that i'm up to date with taxes at the end of the year.  that leaves me $900 to pay rent and utilities (600), car (150) and gas (150), car insurance (100), medical insurance (100), and food and other expenses.

i have applied for nonprofessional jobs but i get turned down all the time when they see my resume. i then thought to omit that i'm a lawyer with 7 yrs of education, but how do i fill in a 9 yr gap that would create on my resume without being honest and not lying.

i have tried everything. getting licenses in other states (i now have california in addition to new york), cold calling employers, networking, recruiters, paying career consultants (i wasted $1400 on one last year), applying to advertised vacancies.

but it's not just that. i look like crap because i never buy clothing. i live alone in a crummy apartment which costs the bomb. i have few friends because i didn't marry before i turned 30, and still am not.  i tried some activities at the suggestion of some posters here, and went to a few singles activities, but i dunno, i just can't click it with people. also, and this is just me and what i biologically am prpgrammed or whatever, but i'm just not attracted to 40+ women, even if they are hot. i'm early 30s and am pulled (or whatever word it is) to women in the 25-30 range. but where can i meet them? bars? should i go to YSD activities still when i can?

finally, i have no family nearby to confide in. i am lonely. i cry often because i just am so ashamed of my inability and attitude to shake myself out of this mental and emotional and spiritual rut that i am in. i have other problems too which i'm sure i have posted about, but don't feel like mentioning them again.

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Hey Jack....ever considered studying Taoism? Im not saying abandon the LDS church, but I think you could personally incorporate Taoist thinking into your life. You know, center your Chakras and stuff like that.

You're self esteem is so bad that frankly....I wouldn't hire you either. But you've got to turn that frown upside down little buddy!

I recommend finding someone who can inject you with some positive energy! Maybe a wiccan high priestess or something could help? Seriously, if you're really ready to try anything, I'd recommend it!

God be with you!

[beanblossom]

I've read some of your posts....I dont think your age or income would matter to a "LDS" girl......but I gotta say the homo thing is just a big deal breaker....hope I can help ya with some of your communication issues.......

[Guest jackvance88]

yeh, but i can't even get interviews in order for them to find if i have low self esteem. and i 'act' completely different on the 'outside' to how i 'feel' on the 'inside' btw. much of my depression (?) i believe is a result (not a cause) of my situation. otherwise, i think my self-esteem is good. hence my question, should i be depressed, worried about this - because if none of it really matters in the long run (marriage, sexual orientation, poverty verses wealth and so on), then i can smile and just accept it all and be happy that christ dies for all this and there is really nothing i need to do beyond my best no matter how far that falls short of perfect or whatever

but your taoism comment is well taken. i'll look into it.

Hey Jack....ever considered studying Taoism? Im not saying abandon the LDS church, but I think you could personally incorporate Taoist thinking into your life. You know, center your Chakras and stuff like that.

You're self esteem is so bad that frankly....I wouldn't hire you either. But you've got to turn that frown upside down little buddy!

I recommend finding someone who can inject you with some positive energy! Maybe a wiccan high priestess or something could help? Seriously, if you're really ready to try anything, I'd recommend it!

God be with you!

←

[Traveler]

Sorry you are having a tough time. There were times in my life I would have traded you places (like when I received combat orders in the military) but now is not one of those times.

I personally think there are two secrets of happiness:

1. Learn to enjoy the journey and not the anticipation of arriving at the destination.

2. Help everyone you find along the way.

The Traveler

[Guest jackvance88]

i would never tell a girl that ever, even after marrying. i have decided and committed never to act on it again. i can control my actions. my internal thoughts/feelings etc are my own business only. but thanks

Originally posted by beanblossom@Sep 23 2005, 04:05 PM

I've read some of your posts....I dont think your age or income would matter to a "LDS" girl......but I gotta say the homo thing is just a big deal breaker....hope I can help ya with some of your communication issues.......

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[Guest jackvance88]

strange, i would now trade my place with your military situation you described

Originally posted by Traveler@Sep 23 2005, 04:13 PM

Sorry you are having a tough time.  There were times in my life I would have traded you places (like when I received combat orders in the military) but now is not one of those times.

I personally think there are two secrets of happiness:

1. Learn to enjoy the journey and not the anticipation of arriving at the destination.

2. Help everyone you find along the way.

The Traveler

←

[Jason]

Originally posted by jackvance88+Sep 23 2005, 04:16 PM-->

strange, i would now trade my place with your military situation you described

<!--QuoteBegin-Traveler@Sep 23 2005, 04:13 PM

Sorry you are having a tough time.  There were times in my life I would have traded you places (like when I received combat orders in the military) but now is not one of those times.

I personally think there are two secrets of happiness:

1. Learn to enjoy the journey and not the anticipation of arriving at the destination.

2. Help everyone you find along the way.

The Traveler

←

←

Jack,

Perhaps that's not such a bad idea after all? With your degree, you should qualify for an Officer position in any branch of the military you wish. If you want to avoid death, I'd recommend either the Air Force or Navy.

You could even look into the JAG programs!

[Guest jackvance88]

what's the age cut-off. i thought i'd be too old.

?

Originally posted by Jason+Sep 23 2005, 04:29 PM-->

Originally posted by jackvance88@Sep 23 2005, 04:16 PM

strange, i would now trade my place with your military situation you described

<!--QuoteBegin-Traveler@Sep 23 2005, 04:13 PM

Sorry you are having a tough time.  There were times in my life I would have traded you places (like when I received combat orders in the military) but now is not one of those times.

I personally think there are two secrets of happiness:

1. Learn to enjoy the journey and not the anticipation of arriving at the destination.

2. Help everyone you find along the way.

The Traveler

←

←

Jack,

Perhaps that's not such a bad idea after all? With your degree, you should qualify for an Officer position in any branch of the military you wish. If you want to avoid death, I'd recommend either the Air Force or Navy.

You could even look into the JAG programs!

←

[Jason]

Originally posted by jackvance88@Sep 23 2005, 05:27 PM

what's the age cut-off. i thought i'd be too old.

?

It's like 34 or something around there. How old are you?

With the shortage of military men, I believe that congress is upping the age limit to 39. It wouldn't hurt to check into it. It just might be the perfect solution for you at this point in your life.