Interview with Bishop

[ferretrunner]

If the bishop is asking questions in a way that causes embarrassment to the person, then yes that is inappropriate. Women are a little more modest in wanting to discuss questions like "are hands rubbing anywhere around the genital areas?" or "is there any lying on top of each other?" These kinds of questions can be very "red-faced" embarrassing for most single women to answer, especially to a bishop that they don't know, thus the "getting to know the bishop" meeting she was attending. I assume that she was not required to attend that meeting also. She went with the simple intentions of wanting to get to know her bishop, and not to be barraged with questions like that right out of the starting gate! And don't say that questions like these don't get asked by a bishop because they do. These are questions I've been asked in some of my interviews already! VERY inappropriate questioning for a simple "get to know your bishop" meeting.

Exactly. There is also an imbalance of power in the relationship. Like it or not, the bishop has power- he is in a position of authority. A young woman, who is also a convert, may not be comfortable/ confident enough to tell the bishop to stop or to leave. She may think she has to stay and answer the questions, since he is in a position of authority.

Young women can be very modest about sexual questions and get embarassed whether or not they are doing something against the LoC. Actually, even young men can get embarrassed about sexuality issues/ questions. There are other people who wouldn't get embarrassed at all.

I'm not saying that the bishop was wrong or those questions should never be asked. It just seems too personal unless there is reason for concern.

Edited October 28, 2009 by ferretrunner

[Snow]

I've been a convert for 2 years now (first in the family, now my brother is also a member), and I must admit I am still getting used to some facets of the Church... It's quite the transition!

One thing that I am learning about is the role of the bishop. I have never really looked up to male authority figures because of family experience, and so a bishop as a kind of 'father figure' in a singles ward has been an interesting experience for me. A lot of my friends meet with him constantly and go into great detail about their lives with him, but for me, I am just more reserved. Still friendly - he is an awesome bishop and we have fun jousting about politics - but I definitely am a private person.

Anyway, about a month ago I had a 'getting to know you' meeting with my bishop, and got asked some interesting questions. I have been dating my boyfriend for four months, and he's also in my ward, so naturally my bishop asked me about him and how our relationship was. After some light-hearted conversation, he started asking me about the Law of Chastity (dum dum DUMMM). He asked me if we were keeping that law, which of course is an affirmative, but then he went into great detail about asking what we were and were not doing, and asking me to describe what all we do physically (which is not much).

While I know he had the best intentions, I couldn't help but feel extremely uncomfortable. I do not share that kind of info regularly, and I definitely did not want to share it with my new bishop. I felt like I was wrong to have felt so bewildered, and so I didn't ask my boyfriend if he had the same questions, or really talk to anyone about it. But I still can't shake the feeling.

Do you guys have any experiences/tips/advice for experiences with Law of Chastity discussion & bishops? Any help would be greatly appreciated

You could do what I'd do. You could say: "Thanks for asking but I'm not interested in discussing it. Period, but as I say - thanks for asking."

Works every time.

[Snow]

As the worlds standards drop many in the church don't even know what the Law of Chastity encompasses.

The unmarried should avoid the following:

• necking: kissing on the neck
• petting: touching private body parts of another person (with or without clothing)
• arousing sexual emotions (in your own body or that of another person)
• fantasizing or dwelling on sexually arousing thoughts

All should avoid the following:

• wearing immodest clothing
• masturbating
• viewing pornography
• homosexual activity
• reading/watching/listening to anything that arouses sexual feelings

I can't enjoy most football games now because advertising is just getting so sexually blatant.

You must be reading out of an old manual. The new instructions simply say that one should refrain from doing more than three of the above simultaneously.

[ferretrunner]

Oh great, not really sure I really wanted to read those thoughts. The next couple years aren't going to be fun. No wonder my Stake Pres was warning so strongly that I'd certianly face temptation.

Well, Ryan, you could always date me. I promise not to tempt your morals. So long as you respect me the same way.

[Snow]

By what authority do you make this judgment?

The bishop holds keys of presidency. You do not. So what makes you think you know better than him, a man whom you have never even met?

Smacks of hubris.

Excellent. If you jab your finger sharply forward, we'll think you are really serious.

But I do have a sincere question for you. What ratio of hubris to compost do you think I should use in my tomato garden next spring?