A Fallow Up

[Winnie G]

For those of you that remember my sorrow over the sexual assault of my dear friend, neighbor and sister.

Under Canadian law, it is not called rape that way the punishment is striate across the board. There is no lesser charge.

On thanksgiving instead of watching the thanksgiving, parade and thinking of my family gathered down in the US, I was at the courthouse with my husband and friend with her family and friends supporting her.

This court appearance was to show the court that there was evidence to hold him over for trial. He had been out on bail but he broke his conditions and was arrested last Monday.

When we arrived, she was sitting in the prosecutor’s office with the victim service worker crying uncontrollably.

The worker looked at us coming though the door she had a look that she know our friend could not make it though the day.

I cupped her face in my hands and said its "OK CJ Ed is here to give you a blessing".

The moment Ed placed his hands on her head she stopped crying and she regained her strength. The spirit was so heavy in the room every one was touched.

The prosecutor and the victim service worker like the rest of us were wiping our eyes.

CJ’s mother in-law said “Mormon Huh I’ll have to remember that” and she hugged my husband.

Ed and I did not leave her side all day.

For six hours, she was on the stand giving testimony. The later half of it was being verbally questions about her sexual orientation of all things. At one point, the judge stood up pointing to the lawyer and said, “If you ask one more question like that I will throw you out of my court”! CJ was asked to describe her self. She said she was a social butterfly and to that this lawyer said “so you like to have sex with men other then her husband”? The judge lost it and called a recess after she told the lawyer “she was going to give her a description of what a social butterfly was in her chambers”!

She was much more respectful towards CJ after.

The last 45 minutes was grueling on CJ but by this point, you could see she was now angry and held it together.

My Ed turned white at one point and I thought he was going to jump in to the prisoner box and kill this man. This man enjoyed watching CJ be verbally battered by his lawyer.

Because our dear friend left her, drink unattended the date rap drug could not be brought in to evidence.

The judge set a court date for December to set the form of trail (Judge or Jury trial) CJ our sister has time to enjoy Christmas.

They were posted out to a base in Ontario this summer so she has new surroundings.

I never understood why my dear friend cut all her hair off to a 1/8 of a inch till Thursday.

He held her down by her hair. I went up to her after and held her and told her now I understood why, she wept in my arms.

The things I realized through out the day was to fallow the church strong suggestion of never put your self in danger.

Girl’s night out around other men besides your husband or trusted friends is not a wise idea and never set your drink down and turn your back.

Please keep CJ in your prayers, she has so much personal damager to her sole.

[DisRuptive1]

So if I'm to understand this properly, she set her drink down, a man added some rufies when she wasn't watching and then took her somewhere and had sex with her while she was unconscious?

I doubt she cut her hair because of what happened. Most women who are raped, cut their hair so they look unattractive to men.

[BenRaines]

I too am curious why married women need a night out with the girls. Same of why married men would need a night out with the boys. My buddies and I have gone fishing together or camped over night. The women have gone to a movie, a conference or shopping for the day or overnight to a womens retreat but not out clubbing or a girls night out.

I have always counseled my daughters wherever they are to not accept a drink from a stranger or someone they know if they don't know where it came from. A bottled water that they open or a soda that they open the can but nothing else where they are left to the trust of another.

It is a sad world where we live that we cannot live without that fear but there should be plenty of warnings given by those that love them, then it is their choice to do as they choose.

Sorry for your friend and there is no excuse for the behavior of the man but there is not excuse for the behavior of many.

[DisRuptive1]

I was under the impression of the story that she turned her back on the drink and said rapist "tainted" the drink without her knowledge. I assume that said rapist probalby talked to her a little bit and in order to deal with any awkwardness she unconsciously took sips of the drink so she wouldn't fidget.

[Winnie G]

There was ten people sitting at the table that night and she got up several times to go with one of them to the ladies room and out side to keep her friend company wile her friend had a cigarette. Things women do)

Even with testimony stating that this man fallowed her around all night, the blood evidence cannot be entered in because her drink was left unattended.

Whatever kind of drug it was it had only a small amount in her blood stream.

The lab said it made her feel sick and weak but not enough to make her pass out.

She never finished the drink as well so she never received the full dose.

That is why she was still aware of most of the assault and why she went home other then getting out of the cab at her friends place. She was not feeling well and wanted to go home.

The reason for cutting her hair was so none could have control of her again.

[DisRuptive1]

The hair thing is pyschologically due to a percieved look that she believes would attract rapists. How do they know this guy raped her? Just because she said so? Why did she bring him to her room in the first place?

[Winnie G]

First how do I know? She was a co-worker friend and neighbor (two doors down)

I could not miss the yellow crime scene tap.

She asked that someone call her mother in-law from the hospital, her husband was away on duty. So yah I kind of believe her, for one who calls your mother in –law if it was consensual sex?

It was good enough for the bishop to believe so yah I believe her.

This man is still awaiting trial for another sexual assault charge in Winnipeg before he was posted down her. His wife divorced him over that. He could not wait for the first charges to decide his fate he did it again.

Like I said to acquaintance “If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck IT’S A DUCK”!

As fare as what turned this person on it came out at the hearing. My friend has a silly thing she does with this group of girls, I am the older friend so I not included in this young women silliness. Every once in awhile my friend will call out “Lezbe friends and she’ll give the other friend a peck on the lips. Need I say more? Its harmless and silly, they all do it. It’s a group of friends from work.

I do not think she ever do that in public again.

As fare as looks go, my friend is average not a looker as men would see her.

She is such a dear kind women who worked in the baby room at the day care on base. Every one loves her, she can walk in a room and with the slightest touch and a soft whisper, and she can calm down a crying child.

She has a son who has special needs and a British husband who plays the drums and in his spare time builds tinny modals for war museums. He built my husband a tank with the camouflage netting hanging off it in places. It was there good-by gift to us when they left. It is so real you could almost wait for it to drive away. He has an on going request from the Ottawa military field museum for first dibs on what he builds. He gets hundreds of dollars for them. He missed his calling by joining the army.

He was her first and only man in her life, they have been married 14 years.

Please do not bad month her in your posts if you know her you would see what I see.