When to baptize

[mmaverick]

I was introduced to the LDS faith a little over a month ago by a new friend that I met. Ever since first learning about it I have tried all I could to learn more and better myself. I've met with the missionaries a couple times and I've been attending church.

The missionaries are now pushing me to get baptized. I feel like I'm probably ready, but I've been going back and forth with myself. If I do want to, they said I can do it later this month. Only thing is that I live away from my mother. She is not LDS, but supports me and said she would want to come. The day the missionaries scheduled it she can't make because she lives on the other side of the country. Would there be any problem with waiting for an indefinite amount of time to get baptized so I could be sure my mom could make it? I don't want to insult anyone or make it seem that I'm not doing this for myself. I want to get baptized, but I want my mom to be able to share that day with me too.

Thanks for your help.

M.

[skippy740]

Let me share with you something:

Missionaries "schedule" baptisms so they can help you to "set a date" as a goal. The day/time is 100% negotiable and movable.

Do yourself a favor: call your mom. Ask her when she can come down. Usually a Saturday is preferrable so you can be confirmed a member the next day in Sacrament meeting. Then tell your missionaries that you'd like to be baptized on that date so your mom can be in attendance. Make sure your mom attends your confirmation too!

I would NOT wait an "indefinite" amount of time. The time to act is when the spirit is strong and the feelings are there. Procrastination is not a virtue that our Father in Heaven wants to see in His children.

I would suggest that if your mom can't come down within the next month, that you consider getting baptized sooner, rather than later.

Since you are male (according to your profile), she can attend your ordination to the Aaronic Priesthood at a later date as well.

Keep going! Let us know how else we can help.

[rameumptom]

Brigham Young took 2 years of study before being baptized. If you and your Mom can figure out a date when she can be present for your baptism, then set that as the date. The missionaries will continue preparing you, even if it is 6 months down the road.

[Guest]

I'm not one for doing things "tomorrow". Baptism is for me - not my mother. So, when I decided to get baptized (over 4 years after my first visit with a missionary), I asked them to baptize me RIGHT NOW. We ended up waiting 6 days because I can't find baptismal clothes that fit me.

Same thing with getting married. My husband asked me to marry him, I said yes, we got married the next week.

It's not that you have to get baptized now. I just see it like cake that is right infront of me that I can't eat! I mean - it's there, all I have to do is put it in my mouth and I get the sweet frosting on my tongue! Now, of course, if there's no sweet frosting on the cake, I don't mind waiting indefinitely for my mother to show up to cut the cake... You see what I'm trying to say? Maybe you're not ready to be baptized, maybe you don't see that there's icing on that cake...

[LDSVALLEY]

As a former Ward Mission Leader here is the advice I have given Investigators dealing with your question.

1 Missionaries are trained to seek a baptism date to give you a goal. Some Missionaries translate that into a quick upcoming date. Others into setting a date even if it is a month or two away.

2 I personally believe that potential members should set a date quickly but no earlier then 4 weeks away to give them time to absorb all four Missionary Lessons. When I was mission leader the Bishop had a rule that someone had to attend sacrament and gospel principle class at least three times before a baptism date.

3 Don't be put off with the idea of setting a date if you feel this seems the correct path, but also don't feel pressured into getting baptized quickly or before you are ready. Some people take a week and get baptized some several years. From what I have seen those who take longer tend to last in the church because they have an understanding of the commitment involved and a better appreciation of the blessings that will come.

4 We are each different, do what feels best for you. Think of the different options then pray to the Lord about each one and be guided by him. It may be quick or slow but the Lord will guide you.

5 The main thing is pray and also to continue to learn, the roots of the gospel will anchor you into the soil allowing you to stand against the winds and storms of life. Never be afraid to tell the missionaries or members what you want it is not their salvation or their baptism it is yours. When my wife and I were baptized 15 years ago the Missionaries handled everything, we had no say in hymns, speakers, topics, we had only been to church once and that was just sacrament. To this day I have no idea who baptized me, what hymns were sung or who was there other then a couple non member friends we invited. As Mission Leader I made sure the persons getting baptized were involved in their day and as long as things were within the church guidelines it was tailored to them as much as possible. Because I didn't have ownership of my conversion I took 4 years after baptism to stop being a new convert!

6 Last do not become discouraged, the gospel is a life changing thing, while at times I have issue with a leader or an organizational issue I have never linked that into the truthfulness of the gospel and the blessings it has given my family. At times it can seem a burden but the blessings in the long run are so worth the occasional headache.

[jayanna]

Is it possible to go to her and get baptized in the ward there?

Don't feel bad if your mother can't come...it is much more important that she sees the difference in your life that the baptism brings, that is the most important part.

She can get a testimony of baptism when she sees your light shine, and maybe wish one for herself.

There are other ordinances she can see, like your confirmation, and ordinations, you blessing the sacrament, and you blessing your future children :), and baptizing them. :) :)

[ConquestT4]

Let me share with you something:

Missionaries "schedule" baptisms so they can help you to "set a date" as a goal. The day/time is 100% negotiable and movable.

Do yourself a favor: call your mom. Ask her when she can come down. Usually a Saturday is preferrable so you can be confirmed a member the next day in Sacrament meeting. Then tell your missionaries that you'd like to be baptized on that date so your mom can be in attendance. Make sure your mom attends your confirmation too!

I would NOT wait an "indefinite" amount of time. The time to act is when the spirit is strong and the feelings are there. Procrastination is not a virtue that our Father in Heaven wants to see in His children.

I would suggest that if your mom can't come down within the next month, that you consider getting baptized sooner, rather than later.

Since you are male (according to your profile), she can attend your ordination to the Aaronic Priesthood at a later date as well.

Keep going! Let us know how else we can help.

I completely back this statement. I couldnt have said it any better.

I have learned that waiting is a decision that is often dangerous in the sense that it gives the adversary more time to tempt us or make us doubt. Im not saying that bad things will happen but when the Spirit testifies and we go from wondering to knowing and feeling that we need to get baptized we then KNOW that is what got wants us to do. We learn that through prayer, pondering and listening to the Spirit.

I would suggest that you do what you can to involve your mother and any other friends or family. That is a great idea and im sure the missionaries will work with you. No one can make the decision for you. You have to decide when and they will make sure you are ready. Dont be afraid to pray about it and ask God. I know he will help you figure it out.

Like it was stated before, the most important thing isnt your mother seeing your baptism though that is a wonderful thing. What is maybe even more important is the change she will see in you. And of course if it turns out that she cant attend your baptism there is the confirmation, the ordinance of receiving the Aaronic Priesthood, etc. If you have more questions about these things feel free to ask either us or the missionaries.

Good luck!

[Scranton]

Waiting is dangerous. One time I witnessed an inexperienced member recommend to all of the investigators in a ward that was growing particularly fast to wait. She said she waited 7 or 8 years. About 10-15 souls were lost because they decided to take this member's advice over the missionaries. Also, baptismal goals in my mission had a 70% chance of happening if they were a week away, but that percentage drops to 10% at 4 weeks. If your mom can't come soon, there is a high chance you will be tempted or cunningly persuaded by the adversary because you still have yet to receive the Holy Ghost. As for now, it can only come and go. After baptism it will help keep you an active member.

[LDSVALLEY]

Waiting is dangerous. One time I witnessed an inexperienced member recommend to all of the investigators in a ward that was growing particularly fast to wait. She said she waited 7 or 8 years. About 10-15 souls were lost because they decided to take this member's advice over the missionaries. Also, baptismal goals in my mission had a 70% chance of happening if they were a week away, but that percentage drops to 10% at 4 weeks. If your mom can't come soon, there is a high chance you will be tempted or cunningly persuaded by the adversary because you still have yet to receive the Holy Ghost. As for now, it can only come and go. After baptism it will help keep you an active member.

A quick baptism date does improve the numbers of people who make it to baptism. However it greatly increases the number of people who leave the church. A rough calculation told me that the quicker someone is baptized the higher the inactive rate. Generally speaking 1-3 months were the ones who had the best chance of staying active in the church. Most who waited past that time had a high percentage never getting baptized but still good activity for those who did.

I guess it depends on what you look at. The number I received much (I feel undeserved) praise for was the number of baptisms in the Ward, we led the Stake. The number I am most pleased with was the retention rate over the two years a new convert is on the Ward Missionary List. We stood at 80-90% retention including a few 1 or 2 Sundays a month or 75-80% for solid attendance.

And I personally believe that the more a person is involved and has ownership of their baptism the stronger the anchor that is created. In our Ward I did my best to prevent multiple baptisms of strangers and simply held more baptisms. Another way to look at it is this.

Investigator take 1

Wants Mother at the Baptism

Does not know if he is ready.

The Missionaries are pushing a date for next week.

Before the baptism the person is going to feel rushed and worried, after they will feel sad a parent could not attend and lacking in understanding of what happened.

Great foundation to start a new gospel life.

Investigator take 2

person sets a baptism date for 30 days from now when the mother can attend.

The person gets to attend sacrament and Gospel Principle class a few times.

The person gets to meet some of the members at church.

The person gets to get in all four lessons with some time to ponder in between so they can prepare questions for the next session.

The person gains more knowledge and thus has a better understanding of the gospel they are joining.

The Missionary Group and other Leaders through personal contact and the Missionaries can get a better feel for the person being baptized.

Home or Visit Teachers can be assigned so they can appear at the baptism.

Time for the Investigator to invite other non member family and friends to attend.

Person can have a hand in creating the baptism. Hymn's, Speakers, etc.

Result

Person has a great experience, is clearer of mind while going through the process, feels great that Mother was able to be there. And shows the importance the church puts on family. Feeling of being nurtured not pushed.

Bonus The Mother and others provide a chance for new Investigators which would not happen with the quick rushed baptism.

[skippy740]

The Challenging and Testifying Missionary

I don't believe that all who come into the Church are going to stay in and there will be many spin off because they were not able to sustain their conversion, which more than likely has been a doctrinal and not a spiritual conversion. Here is the right slant of missionary work. Dogmatic instructions tend only to confuse. Teach by the Spirit. A recent visit of the missionaries at home found a family of four still responding to their first visit of two days previous. The family was immediately invited to be baptized and they accepted the invitation. "The missionaries were wise, and prompted by the spirit received the commitment. This led to a more serious aspect in holding cottage meetings until baptism, and they found the investigators readily accepting each point of the lessons, for when investigators feel that the missionaries are truly the servants of good, they are fully susceptible to the message." Why, it is simple. If I believe with all my heart that you are a servant of God and you are teaching me, I'll accept everything you say. You don't have to argue with me. You are a servant of God. I know it because I have the spirit of God.

I remember as a young missionary we left the city of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, to go northward. The sky was blue, it was a beautiful day. It was so still it was almost dull. We had gone about one-half mile on a dirt road when a tremendous whirlwind came up and almost turned us off our feet. I said, "Brother John Clark; we must be going the wrong way." We turned and went the other way and had gone almost a half day into the country when we turned down a farm lane. I can still hear the dogs barking as we opened the outer gate and approached the house. The man said, "I have been expecting you young men." He had a neighbor who had dropped by and left him a copy of the Book of Mormon. Some missionaries had given it to the neighbor and he was not interested in it and had left it with him. "I have been praying every day that someone would come to tell me about this." Would you go into a lengthy series of lessons with that man? We did not. We went out and dammed the creek in back of his place and baptized him before we left.

If people say they enjoyed your lesson, don't say we will challenge them next Wednesday. What kind of missionaries are we? We want to teach people the fullness of the gospel, which are faith, repentance and baptism. The Lord told the Nephites if they said anything else evil would came out of it. I am convinced that we keep people out of the church. I can tell by the look on some of your faces that this goes against the grain. You still like it nice and easy, where you go in and teach the lessons. Teach by the spirit when you go into the home, and have the spirit so strong it comes out of your fingers and they feel it so strong they say, "I know what you say is true." You can teach all six lessons in 10 minutes when they say that. That is all it took the Lord to teach in the DC. The Godhead talked one verse and He didn't go into a long discussion. "The father has a body of flesh and bones as tangible as man's; the son also; but the Holy Ghost has not a body of flesh and bones, but is a personage of Spirit. Were it not so, the Holy Ghost could not dwell in us." That is the Godhead lesson, isn't it? No matter how you fix it up, there it is. If we say that to people who want to believe us and tell them we have no courage and are afraid to open our mouths and think we can do it easier by teaching the lessons.

Edited September 12, 2010 by skippy740