wordsaretrivial Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure"? "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure"? she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead"? "The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now $150. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8cow Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
begood2 Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 Words are trivial, Hey, that was a good joke! Thanks for sharing it with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindy Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 Oh my heck.... lab report...cat scan..... ROFL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsaretrivial Posted April 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 yeah my mom sends me lots of funny jokes. I have a few puns too: 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8cow Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 I love puns. "A good pun is its own reword" LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsaretrivial Posted April 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 hey that's a good one i've never heard b4, Diddly Whack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ldsgurl_2002 Posted April 2, 2006 Report Share Posted April 2, 2006 LOL i didn't get the lab report one at first until i read lindy's post..kinda slow right there but i got the cat scan!! LOL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsaretrivial Posted April 2, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2006 here's a joke i made up randomly one day: What do u call a police officer in Georgia? ..... ..... peach-fuzz! (you know cuz GA has peaches, yeah...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ldsgurl_2002 Posted April 3, 2006 Report Share Posted April 3, 2006 haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinky_n_perky Posted April 9, 2006 Report Share Posted April 9, 2006 ok um all of the jokes said i dont get any of them... ive never been good with getting jokes LOL heres one i know though... you might of all heard it though but never mind a blonde walked onto a shop and asked "can i but that t.v please" the shop keeper said "sorry we dont sell to blondes" so she walked out and the next day she came back in with her hair dyed black she asked"can i buy that t.v please" again the shop keeper said "sorry we dont sell to blondes" she walked out and came back the next day with her hair dyed red and asked "can i buy that t.v please?" again he said "sorry we dont sell to blondes" then she said " hang on ive came in her with red and black hair how do you still know that im blonde?" the shop keeper then answered "because thats not a tv its a microwave" LOL ummmm heres another one Three blondes were walking through the woods when they came acroos some tracks on the floor the first blonde said "oh look at those bear tracks" the second blonde said "nooo there not bear tracks there fox tracks" the third blonde said" no no no you're all wronge there rabbit tracks" then the train came and ran them all over Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindy Posted April 14, 2006 Report Share Posted April 14, 2006 Three blondes were walking through the woods when they came acroos some tracks on the floor the first blonde said "oh look at those bear tracks"the second blonde said "nooo there not bear tracks there fox tracks"the third blonde said" no no no you're all wronge there rabbit tracks" then the train came and ran them all overthanks pip.....I hadn't heard that one..... and THAT was GREAT!!!! a must keep for my joke file :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christos Posted April 24, 2006 Report Share Posted April 24, 2006 Good stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bubbly_cutie Posted May 12, 2006 Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 lol they were all amazing! i love jokes! ok. A blonde is on a train in south america. The young man in the seat next to her i reading a newspaper. she glances over at it and sees the headline, "12 Brazillian Soldiers Killed". She is very confused. She turns to the guy next to her and says, "how many is a brazillian!?!" ROFL that is my favorit joke. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8cow Posted May 13, 2006 Report Share Posted May 13, 2006 ROFL! Thats great! haha.. you kinda have to say it out loud... but its awesome. lol. thanks for the laugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efyman2005 Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindy Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 A blonde is on a train in south america. The young man in the seat next to her i reading a newspaper. she glances over at it and sees the headline, "12 Brazillian Soldiers Killed". She is very confused. She turns to the guy next to her and says, "how many is a brazillian!?!" lolOh THAT was GREAT! I loved it!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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