jiujitsu47 Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 Well, this is my second thread on this forum now. I'm engaged to be married in 10 weeks. Both of us have had our own problems with chastity in the past. She was inactive for several years and I am a convert to the church. We fooled around for awhile, but managed to stop completely when we got engaged. Since then we've struggled but made progress. Until, that is, I lost my job and had a 3 week gap before going to my new job. It finally happened the other day... we broke down and had sex for the first time. Obviously that in itself means we probably won't be going to the temple any time soon. My question is, how long do you have to wait? Later that evening she told me that if you have sex you have to wait a full year before you could be married. Apparently her parents told this to her. I haven't seen anything about that anywhere though. Is that true? It doesn't quite add up to me, as I broke up with my ex (we were sexually active) last summer and the bishop didn't tell me anything like that when I told him I'm engaged to my fiance with a date set much sooner than a year. Basically, I feel that once I do start my new job we will be able to refrain from further violations and repent. Right now we have nothing but time together and a lack of structure, which is for me a dangerous thing. Obviously we will talk to the bishop, we just want to know as much as possible ahead of time. Also we will have to talk to her parents about why we aren't going to the temple, should that be the case. Is it even possible for us to repent within the time frame of 10 weeks and be sealed prior to civil marriage? I didn't realize just how much I want to make it to the temple until after we had sex... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 The general rule is a year. Although you can go ahead and get married civilly and then get sealed in the Temple a year later. On my marriage, because of various stuff with me, I was not able to go to the temple and that's what we did. It was just as special an occasion for us, minus the reception, just a nice dinner. Talk to your Bishop. He can give you more guidance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alana Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 The time frame of a year is pretty common. About if you can repent in a 10 week time frame, that's between you and the Lord. Part of repentance is continuing on the right path afterwords. The year rule is partially there to show that you're continuing to be committed on the following the right path and remaining worthy for the temple. If its' in 10 weeks or a year, keep on it. For me, once married civilly, there wasn't the temptation of having sex outside of marriage, but for me I think it made the repentance process longer, it was easier for me to be complacent. I really had to work to come to understand Godly sorrow, it didn't' come naturally and it was a hard process. Also, once you're married, it's not just dependant on you when you go to the temple, but on your spouses repentance process also. Before you go to the Bishop, pray with your wife that all three of you may be guided to understand the best course of action for you. I wish you a happy wonderful eternal marriage:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 (edited) When a couple marry outside the temple civilly, they must wait a year before being sealed in the temple. However, your case is more complicated due to the sex involved. If you are members and have had sex outside marriage, the repentance process requires talking with the bishop. He will determine when you can be married in the temple. It may be a year, or it could take longer, depending on the repentance process (it differs some for each individual, as the bishop will make the decision via the Holy Spirit). So, I suggest you talk to the bishop now. Let him know you will be married soon, and you will not go anywhere near sex (or touching, necking, etc) again until the honeymoon. Then walk carefully over the next several weeks. Don't be alone together in dangerous places. Focus on the spiritual aspects of the relationship, not the physical attraction and lust. Edited March 3, 2011 by rameumptom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.