uninterested wife.

[JamesKnightwell]

Me and my wife have been married for over 5 years. For most of that time I have been happy. She tells me in Jan "Honey I just want you to know how thankful I am for you . Your a good man you love me.,take care of me, you do good things(word of wisdom,Chasity so on) and you think I"m beautiful. Things were good for another month or two. We have both always played World of Warcraft and like games together. About march she goes off and starts playing with her own friends and doesn't want me joining her. Since then she has started bringing up things that I did years ago I thought were dead and buried(nothing major didn't follow through on what i said i would do etc. lose a few pounds etc) So out of the blue with no trigger event she just gets furious at me. I ask her why she doesn't want to spend time with me. we use to watch tons of netflix. She says I don't need you for that anymore, my emotional needs are being met by these people now. I know she's not physically cheating on me. But she will not do anything or go anywhere with me anymore. We haven't had sex since February. She keeps telling me she needs time to heal, but says thing will never be what they once were. Talking to a bishop is out(she's wanted nothing to do with the church in 4 years even though we are married in the temple.). Counselor is out because she wouldn't listen. She says she does not want a divorce but it really seems like to me she is just keeping me around to pay the bills. I"m at a loss as what to do. I know i can't handle a wife who won't even so much as hug me.

[LDSJewess]

JamesKnightwell,

It looks like you need to find a good support network and the church is a good place to start. If your wife won't talk to the Bishop, you can may want to seek counsel with him, and surround yourself with people that may be able to help put things into perspective.

I cannot comment on the root of the problem, but it may run deeper than you think. You mentioned Quote "she has started bringing up things that I did years ago I thought were dead and buried(nothing major didn't follow through on what i said i would do etc. lose a few pounds etc)" End Quote. You may have thought these issues were long buried but if she is bringing them up, they may not be as buried for her as they are for you, so that is something that will need addressing between the two of you.

Again I do not know you but as a general rule, often people that say they make a promise to "lose a few pounds" are really dealing with more than just "a few pounds". Whether it is weight loss or any other challenge in your life, perhaps you can work on yourself which may give you the opportunity for greater health and better confidence. This in turn may result in your wife re-evaluating her feelings for you.

Another suggestion is that although your wife wants nothing to do with the church; is it possible that you and your wife can together maintain a social life comprised of church members that can help to show the example of the value of family.

In any event work on becoming the best person you can be. If the result of that is a renewed and happier marriage that is wonderful. And if it means only that you become a healthier more confident person, and your wife take another direction, at least you can know you gave it your all.

I wish you all the best.

[John11111]

What is it she needs time to heal from? You said she needs time to heal but not what happened?

How much does she game? Are we talking about a few hours a day for fun or are we talking hardcore 12-18 hours a day? It really sounds that she has a gaming addiction.

Her "guild" "clan" "team" online has replaced you it could be that they are poisoning her against you as well?

It could be she is bringing things up in the past to justify her current behavior. Maybe her way of not feeling guilty about what she is doing?

[FunkyTown]

Yyyyes.

This seems very odd. "I need time to heal." is a very strange thing to say unless there was an event which hurt her.

What event is this? It's clear we're not getting the whole story as, if I had said I wanted to lose a few pounds and didn't and my fiance said we couldn't touch because she 'Needed time to heal', I would think she had gone off the deep end.

The fact that you didn't say "I think my wife is a whole lot of crazy. She won't hug me because she 'Needs time to heal'. It's because I didn't take out the garbage in 2005 when I said I would." suggests that you know you did something wrong.