The members around me are making me lose faith..?

[Guest gopecon]

As a missionary I was taught that when the Spirit is with us in a discussion, we know that the investigator is feeling it as well. As a missionary, you can feel the difference in a discussion that is going well and one that isn't. When someone feels the Spirit confirming that Joseph Smith really saw the Father and the Son, what better time is there to extend an invitation to act on the testimony that they are receiving? The discussions are designed to give investigators a platform from which their gospel knowledge can grow, but they are not a comprehensive study of the teachings of the Church.

As far as respecting the missionaries goes, I believe that we are taught to do so because of their callings as representatives of the Lord. Of course some goof off and do stupid stuff, some are over-zealous and pushy, and some are there because of social reasons, but they have committed two years (or 18 months) of their lives to serving. The vast majority do so honorably in a way that would make their parents proud.

[skippy740]

I wonder if she'll come back and comment?

[I_Can_See]

More troubling to me is how many folks I've met in the LDS church who have never read the Book of Mormon...? I just find it really odd. Or who never study it. Or the Bible.

I know this is a bit off topic but that is so true. My wife is a born member and I was shocked to find out that she didn't know that Jesus visited the American Continent. She said "If that was true she would surly have heard about it." Never could get her to read the scriptures.

[kev0001000]

I am a convert. My family and I were baptized when I was 11 years of age. I went to church every Sunday with my family. Eventually they stopped going. My mother would make me go. She would say, "you need to be there to represent the family". So I went, by my self, having no support at home. As I tried to do what was right, my family seemed to be taking on the ways of the world. Things got really bad at home. I couldn't balance spirituality and that which was happening within the walls of my home.

Eventually I left too. It would be a few years before the missionaries would come knocking at my door. I avoided them because I didn't want to feel guilty about the new life I was living. I didn't want to feel accountable for my actions. I waited for my life to hit rock bottom. So, at the age of 16, drunk, walking around my neighborhood, I ran into the elders. They invited me back to church. I gave some kind of weak promise that I'd be there.

I didn't go, but the new Young Men's President was now aware of me. He came looking for me. When he got to my door, my mother answered and informed him that I had ran away. He said "that's ok, I will find him". Led by the spirit he found me drunk and stumbling around the streets. He invited me to a fireside to which I had agreed to. I don't remember much about the fireside but I remember feeling like someone cared about me. Soon he would find out about the abuse at home.

He invited me to stay with him. He was a wealthy man, and very generous. I had no interest in his money. I just wanted someone to love me. When members became aware that I was now staying with him, they started rumors, stating that I was "leeching cash off of him", "he's just there for the money", because I came from a poor family. I was trying to clean up my life and get right with the church. I confessed some transgressions to my bishop. He advised that I go back home to live with my mother, said I was putting to much strain on the family that took me in.

When I refused his council, the things I told him in confidence became public. Bishops, Stake Presidents, Mission Presidents, all knew things about mes I had thought no one else knew. Other kids my age were being warned about me, told to stay away from me. I wasn't allowed to attend dances or other events. Rumors were spreading about me like wild fire, some true, most false. And I got wind that some Bishops were saying that if they ever got their hands on me they would ex communicate me in a heart beat.

I felt that I had no one to turn to. The very people who were supposed to be helping me were doing the complete opposite. I left the church again. Fast forward, life hitting rock bottom, new addictions acquired, I felt that if God had put these men in charge, then their thoughts and actions resembled what he thought of me as well.

I tried forcing my self to go back but I could not get over the pain and the stares from others. One night I had a dream. Jesus was on the earth again and everyone was getting a chance to talk with him. As I entered the room there was an incredible all consuming love that filled the air. It consumed my entire being. I went near Him, I could not see His face, I asked if I were in the right place, if I was doing the right thing by trying to come back. He confirmed that I was.

Since then I had forgiven those who had hurt me, I realized that no matter what others choose to do with their agency, I have my own. I can let the actions of others keep me from realizing the blessings and promises of living the gospel, or I could forgive them, listen to the spirit, and do what is right.

If I had not made that choice, If Heavenly Father did not reach out to me in my time of need, I would not be married in the temple, sealed to my beautiful wife and children for time and eternity today. I would not know what I know today. There is never a reason to leave, because the gospel is true, with or without me it remains so.