"Marriage responsibilities" what are they?

[imdonel8r]

I have been listening to a lot of talks lately and reading alot and they talk alot about " marriage responsibilities" but what are marriage responsibilities as pertaining to the church ?

[Dravin]

You may find this lesson manual (part A at least) of interest: Marriage and Family Relations Instructor?s Manual  there is also The Family: A Proclamation to the World but it, in my view, comments primarily on their roles in the family and less so on their responsibilities to each other (though it does touch on them briefly).

Personally I'd put it as to love and serve one another in righteousness with completely fidelity.

[Guest mormonmusic]

First an foremost, learn the emotional needs of your spouse and do everything possible to meet their most important ones. Avoid "love busters" such as angry outbursts, annoying habits, independent behavior, dishonesty and disrespectful judgments. See Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice for the best description of how husbands and wives should protect and care for each other.

Exercise wise judgment and prayer as you consider the LDS suggestion that the woman does the nurturing of children and stays at home while the man works. It's a great philosophy when the husband and wife get energy from those roles, but it's a complete disaster if you the wife or the husband is lazy and slothful in either of these roles. If they are suited for better roles, and these roles are good for the marriage, then I would not hesitate to work this out with the Lord in a way that suits the needs of your family.

[imdonel8r]

Thanks

[JudoMinja]

I don't know if this is exactly what your looking for since this is my personal take and not necessarily that of the church. If you're just looking for the official church take on it though, Dravin's reference is great for looking that up.

When I think of "marriage responsibilities", I first ask myself- What does it mean to be married? Why do we marry? What are the goals of a marriage? etc.

A marriage is a partnership between two people to start a family- by having and raising children. There is no other real reason to get married. So, if you are joining together to have and raise children, what are your responsibilities going to be? What does it take to "make" a family? There are going to be responsibilities that directly and indirectly affect the children, and they can theoretically be split between the two in any way. But the goal will ultimately be to raise up children in the way you (the two of you) deem most fitting. To achieve this goal, I think responsibilities can be boiled down to four things:

1. Someone will need to have a job and make money to pay for your needs- or you will need to find a way to be self-sufficient so you can supply your needs without making money. In today's world, the second is very unlikely to be a possibility, but striving to find ways to be self-sufficient will help bring more stability and less reliance on money.

2. There will need to be a home that is kept clean and orderly, with needs provided for like clothing and food. So someone will need to bear the responsibility of the "homemaking"- cooking, laundry, etc.

3. Children will need to be taught and disciplined- they can be sent to school, homeschooled, go to church, have family home evening, learn responsibilities with chores, practice people skills and talents by participating in sports and other activities, etc.

4. Emotional needs of all will need to be met and maintained through loving interactions and socialization.

Pretty much any marriage/family responsibility falls into one of these four categories, and it is when the husband and wife strive their best to work together in meeting all these responsibilities, each giving their greatest strengths to the effort and splitting and helping with the responsibilities according to those strengths, with the ultimate goal of their marriage in mind that things will run more smoothly.

[shdwlkr]

First marriages don't always have creation of children as a important part of the marriage. There are so many reasons for this I will not waste time here explaining unless someone really wants to know.

Second marriage is the bond of physical and mental bodies together for hopefully eternity

Third the savior taught us that to love another as we love ourselves is important, in doing this we fail to see the short comings of another and also ignore some of those in our selves. I say some because some short comings we have need to be addressed like maybe tithing, helping others, callings in the church which we feel inadequate in

Fourth marriage is a commitment to something greater than ourselves, when we marry we say we will honor our spouse in sickness and health and in wealth or poverty and to be one with them

Fifth marriage today is becoming a joke in the fact we see so many marriages end in divorce because it is so easy to get one. Does this mean all divorces have no merit no it just means there is a lot of them for stupid reasons and they could have been saved if the partners had wanted to work to save them

Sixth it is a known fact we live longer if we are in a loving relationship with another and not living alone. think of it as your personal fountain of youth because you have to get up each day and see what you spouse has figured out you need to do today.

Seventh wasn't it a commandment to marry and replenish the earth, but does it say anywhere if you can't have children to have sex and not marry? Sorry but marriage is a bonding of bodies literally as well as mentally and there is no reason to believe because children are not part of it that it is any the less a scared commandment we should follow.

last and most important it teaches of tolerance, love , compassion and humility

[garryw]

I have been listening to a lot of talks lately and reading alot and they talk alot about " marriage responsibilities" but what are marriage responsibilities as pertaining to the church ?

It's different things to different people. According to my Judge, it's paying $2000/month alimony to my ex wife and her boyfriend. I don't really agree with that definition.

The point I am making is legal. In most cases, when a woman finds a new mate and files divorce, the woman has no marriage responsibilites to the husband. However the man has to keep all his, which the laws indicate are financial.

The church agrees with this. Current alimony payments are part of the temple recommend questions. They are called family obligations. Women have none, in most cases.

So in conclusion, it depends on your gender whether or not you have family responsibilities as defined by the church.

Edited December 9, 2011 by garryw

[shdwlkr]

I don't see payments because of a divorce as marriage responsibilities more of court order payments.

Right now in this country if you are male you are a dirt bag when it comes to court and you are going to pay dearly to the ex no matter what in most cases and men whether we like it or not we created this attitude in the courts because of all those dead beat dads who didn't pay a dime for their kids.

Will it change maybe but it has been this way for over 20 years that I know of. I only know of one judge who changed his mind and that was because he got to enjoy divorce and court himself and was on the receiving end of a judgement against him much as he had handed out hundreds of time to others.

Marriage responsibilities to me stop when the marriage stops unless there are kids and then you have a responsibility to the kids for the rest of your life. Yes it will mean paying child support and if the spouse remarries hearing about all the things they are doing when with mom and the new guy.

GarryW if all you have to pay is $2000 a month you got out of it cheap, I know of a time when it cost me more than that, a house and most of my personal possessions because she was a gold digger.

When we talk about "marriage responsibilities" to me it means while we are a couple and together and when that ends so do many if not all marriage responsibilities because we are not married anymore.

I have no marriage responsibilities to my ex because we are no longer married but I have responsibilities to my children that will be there for life, mine as it is most likely I will die first in most cases. Do I have court ordered responsibilities yes and they are court ordered not a part of the marriage but apart of the disillusionment of that marriage.