Help

[bluesky4]

My husband wants a divorce at least that is what he said 2 weeks ago. I talked him out of it but it's so painful to know that is how hes feeling. We have been married 14 years. He has been though some hard times and off and on for years it's been a rough marriage. I love him though. I want my family to be together. I am tired of all the drama but willing to patient. I don't want to tell all details but we have been through a trial where another woman was involved and I think hes feeling guilt because he has never made it back full circle with our bishop. I forgave him. It took me some time but I did and I just feel he has never been able to forgive himself. He's distant so we don't talk much in fact he has asked me not to have any expectations from him right now and that he needs space. He goes to church but has no calling and just doenst really feel like going. He is going for our 2 sweet kids he says. To me it's better then him not going at all. He seems withdrawn and does not much brings him happiness right now. It's sad to me and I don't feel like there is not much I can do.

Help!!

No bishop appt in the world will help at this point nor does he want to see a therapist with me. I think I may start going for myself as my soul is hurting and I am not sure how to deal with the pain.

[shine7]

Yes!! go for yourself.....get help for your hurting soul and the pain......fixing you will change more than you now may realize.........anyhoo that is my experience.

[nebur11]

Well it seems you have to let him go and move on with your life without him. I know its hard but you will be okay.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Well, my advice would different than moving on at this point, not that moving on is not sometimes necessary. But you're in a situation of marriage and one with children, so it's involved and serious with far reaching consequences. You love your husband and have forgiven him too, so this shows you want to help not only to keep your family together, but you desire to love and help your husband, as well. So, for now, at least, I would say, just love him. Please no one assume I'm suggesting or advising any woman that she should be a doormat by such advice, either. The husband may be the one causing the pain because of his own struggles and weaknesses, but he must deal with that himself somehow and you have little control over that and you can only deal with the fallout that may come if he decides to follow through with divorce.

In the meantime, though, as you've said you've talked him out of it, I would say for the time being, just love him, be kind to him, pray for him, and also pray for your heart to be filled with love and compassion for him, that the Lord can guide you in your actions in ways that may help him. If he is suffering guilt, compassion can be a balm that may help him see he is worth forgiving, which may help him realize forgiving himself is just as needful. I would especially say, to ask in prayer to see him as the Lord does, as this can be a balm in supplanting one's own pain, when feelings love and compassion for one that we love and want to help can take a stronger hold on us than our own pain. I would especially say that if or when anger comes, as it may, plead that it be taken. Not that either pain, or anger, in such situations are not understandable, they are, but ask that love and compassion replace them, not only for his sake and your children's, but especially for your own.