Strange feelings

[Chrissy3818]

I am not sure how to explain this but I hope I can and I hope you can help me. There are many reasons I don't date, for my own protection because I don't think I can contain these feelings I have.

I don't know if their sexual feelings or not, I've never really dealt with them and every time these feelings over come me I ignore them and push them aside and try to burry them. I don't even know how to explain them.

There's this guy I like, and I can't stop thinking about him and thinking about a future, but I push it out of my head because it gives me weird feelings. I don't know what to do. I am so afraid to date and mess up everything God has in store for me (even though I have no clue what that is).

[Guest]

Part of the fun of dating is that rush and exhilaration of getting to know someone who sparks your interest, and the anticipation of possibility. It's normal. I look back on those feelings toward my husband and our budding relationship with fondness and in some ways I miss it a little. Of course I had those butterflies over other guys before him, too, which is also normal. You are far too hard on yourself.

As an aside, I hope that when you're able to speak more for yourself, you will find some help. Your parents are wrong about seeking therapy. It is not weak. They have probably handled your circumstances as well as they know how, but that doesn't mean they've handled them well. In fact, they've been horribly wrong. Consider talking to your bishop, even if they dismiss the idea. You need some support in real life (as opposed to strangers on the internet).

[Chrissy3818]

As an aside, I hope that when you're able to speak more for yourself, you will find some help. Your parents are wrong about seeking therapy. It is not weak. They have probably handled your circumstances as well as they know how, but that doesn't mean they've handled them well. In fact, they've been horribly wrong. Consider talking to your bishop, even if they dismiss the idea. You need some support in real life (as opposed to strangers on the internet).

I'm confused? I don't think my feelings toward boys need to be talked with the bishop, lol there's and awkward conversation. I just am unsure if there more sexual than butterflies really.

[Guest]

No, not your very normal feelings toward boys. Your issues in general. They are all related to what you've been through, and you deserve and need help to work through them.

[Chrissy3818]

No, not your very normal feelings toward boys. Your issues in general. They are all related to what you've been through, and you deserve and need help to work through them.

Okay, fine maybe their normal. I don't know lol but I'll take your advice for it because you have been through the whole dating feelings.

You mean everything I've posted about? Everything I am still going through? I know, I think I will talk to my bishop when he interviews me for my college interview, I just hope it doesn't decrease my chances of getting into LDSBC.

May I ask how my parents are wrong? I know they can be, their humans lol, I've just grown up with them and nothing but them. My mom didn't suggest therapy my Doctor did, she said if she was going to prescribe me with anti depressants she wanted me to go to a counselor. My mom just thought it was a good idea, and it did help, just now it's been making things worse, so I told her I wanted out an she is fine with that. (sorry if I wasn't clean, I don't really like proof reading what I wrote unless things are miss spelled).

[Guest]

They are wrong about brushing your experience under the rug. They are wrong to think that not talking about it will make it go away. They are wrong to say you shouldn't seek help. I thought you said that they told you that talking to someone about this stuff is weak and unnecessary, but now you're saying your mom thinks therapy is a good idea? I guess I'm not understanding you right. But you're probably tired of me preaching at you. I'll just say once again that you've been through a trauma and you deserve to have all the help available to you to get through it. A different counselor. Meds for anxiety and/or depression. Help from your bishop. Whatever it takes. Good luck.

[Chrissy3818]

They are wrong about brushing your experience under the rug. They are wrong to think that not talking about it will make it go away. They are wrong to say you shouldn't seek help. I thought you said that they told you that talking to someone about this stuff is weak and unnecessary, but now you're saying your mom thinks therapy is a good idea? I guess I'm not understanding you right. But you're probably tired of me preaching at you. I'll just say once again that you've been through a trauma and you deserve to have all the help available to you to get through it. A different counselor. Meds for anxiety and/or depression. Help from your bishop. Whatever it takes. Good luck.

Naw I don't mind you preaching your just trying to help me. And no I think I may have said it wrong. Or maybe I said it in a way different than I meant (I tend to do that) my parents are fine with me seeking help and doing whatever is necessary. I think it's me whos afraid to talk to the bishop, but I think I may need to.

[hardtoguess]

Nothing strange about those feelings, go for a hike in the woods and scream for awhile.

How old are you?

You can't date unless you are of age and have a life, goals, a sense of yourself and ambitions or you'll be a pathetic person who relies on some guy to make you feel good, and who will be turned off by your need of it.

At some point you'll have to make a play for a dude. You feelings are going to go hog wild and you'll make a big mess of it, just plan on that. But burn into your skin that you will not break the law of chastity, because it just complicates things. Talk about it like a chatterbox if you have to, just follow that.

For those of you that didn't, don't obligate yourself because of it. Get out of unhealthy relationships before they get too far. 3/4 of the threads on here are about that.

As for you, if you can't see the guy as someone you'd marry, or that would marry you, there isn't a lot of point to this. I have no idea th stats on LDS people, how many you date before you marry, but IMO if you don't think it's going to go that far there are few reasons to pursue it. Some people are so awkward with the opposite sex it doesn't hurt to try, hopefully get some practice but other than that.

[Chrissy3818]

How old are you?

I am 18 in 4 months, I dated a guy before, but that was a huge mistake and I hope to never make that mistake again.

I do have a life, lol. I have a job and am currently running back and forth between two schools. I would not say I am completely awkward with the opposite sex, just the ones I like. I can be myself around other guys, and the guys I like once I get use to them being there.

I drill the law of chastity into. In fact I fear dating because I am disparately afraid to break it.

He is Mormon and so far I can see myself marrying him.

Not sure what the chatterbox is.. I think I covered everything you talked about.

[Dravin]

He is Mormon and so far I can see myself marrying him.

Have you spent time interacting with him? If he's just the really neat guy you've been getting warm and fuzzies over but you've not spent time getting to know him I suggest it's less you seeing yourself marrying him and more you seeing yourself marrying the idea of him. Until you get to know him it's not him you like, it's the caricature you've created in your head that you like.

[Chrissy3818]

Have you spent time interacting with him? If he's just the really neat guy you've been getting warm and fuzzies over but you've not spent time getting to know him I suggest it's less you seeing yourself marrying him and more you seeing yourself marrying the idea of him. Until you get to know him it's not him you like, it's the caricature you've created in your head that you like.

Okay, true, but no I have not spent anytime with him, but I have heard a lot about him. I don't feel the time is right to begin speaking to him.