Still losing it

[pooter1]

I have given it some time for the things to calm down in my life since my last post. My husband and I were called to be Temple Workers 4 weeks ago.Ever since that has happened all heck has broke lose. You know about some of my problems with my son,sewer problems.fridge breaking,car breaking,strep throat, and then yesterday son was in a wreck and broke his arm. I understand that satan is unhappy with me but if God isn't going to find a way out for me then I have to do it. Bills are piling,we are now juggling our bills.Testimony is going down fast!! It never ever ends. I don't tell people my problems because Im afraid they won't believe so much that happens to me and my family. Here is the other big problem.I said yes to being a Temple worker and I feel like I do not belong there.I have always had a problem with the Temple and how cultish it feels to me.If I tell this to my Bishop will I be an apostate? Is it right for me to still be a temple worker? I still feel uncomfortable there and Im doing temple work!!! I thought saying yes would help me gain a testimony about temple work and help my life become a better life.It has been sorrow after sorrow ever since I said yes.What am I going to do?????

Edited November 12, 2012 by pam

[Guest]

What have you done to get help? Talk to your bishop. You want God to find a way out for you but you aren't using the avenues He has provided for you to have help. Struggling isn't being apostate. "Cultish" is a bit strong a word, but if you aren't used to ceremony and symbolism, the Temple can feel unusual. We aren't the only religion or organization that uses those sorts of things though, and I'm not talking about cults.

[Guest]

One more thing: I don't believe that Satan, especially with no body, has the power to do things like break sewers and cars and wreak havoc on our finances. He can, however, plant seeds of doubt when mortality gets rough, or when our loved ones are making bad choices, or when we're suffering the consequences of our own bad choices. Don't give him so much power. Don't lean on the arm of man, either. Have enough faith in Heavenly Father to explore the options available to you to help you through rough times. Talk to the bishop.

[skippy740]

Here is the other big problem.I said yes to being a Temple worker and I feel like I do not belong there.I have always had a problem with the Temple and how cultish it feels to me.If I tell this to my Bishop will I be an apostate? Is it right for me to still be a temple worker? I still feel uncomfortable there and Im doing temple work!!! I thought saying yes would help me gain a testimony about temple work and help my life become a better life.It has been sorrow after sorrow ever since I said yes.What am I going to do?????

You need to talk to two people: Your Bishop and the Temple President/Matron or a counselor in the Temple Presidency.

You see, if you ONLY talk to the Bishop, what could his response be? To simply ask that you not be a temple worker? He cannot help you to clarify the temple doctrines necessarily because you aren't IN the temple... where such things can be discussed.

However, if you have an appointment with someone in the Temple Presidency... they CAN help answer more questions and perhaps help you feel more at ease. They can do this because you will be IN the temple for such an appointment.

I would start with the Temple Presidency/Matron and then, if you still feel uncomfortable, then talk to your Bishop.

If I tell this to my Bishop will I be an apostate?

Asking questions is NOT a sign of apostacy. Making assumptions and allowing doubt and fear to control your thoughts is a beginning sign "down the dark side".

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.

But more important is this:

2 Timothy 1:7

7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Edited November 11, 2012 by skippy740

[skippy740]

My sense of you angel333, is that you are afraid to let it be known that you have questions and aren't as familiar with things as you want to be. You have doubts and fears... but you are afraid to talk about them with others IN YOUR REAL LIFE.

Why are you more afraid of man and what man thinks of you... over God?

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I agree with Skippy about seeing your Bishop and your Temple Pres.

John Bytheway counseled the youth, "Question your doubts". I have a lot of questions and doubts lately. When I started to fear that I was losing my testimony, I made an appointment with the Bishop. I meet with him every other week to "question my doubts" and it has been very helpful. I am hanging in there. I am going to resolve my issues and be strong in the faith again.

Worrying about what other people think of us is a form of pride. You are not alone. I believe everyone of us is prideful in one way or another. We just need to be aware of it and work hard to overcome it. So knock the pride monkey down and call your Bishop.

[pooter1]

Went and talked with my bishop last night.He said some things that made sense to me. I still get to be a Temple worker.I do believe that Satan can get in our way and make bad things happen to us.I also believe that God can find a way out.Im just so tired of waiting.

[Guest Thinker]

Angel,

I imagine you've been through a lot - & feel very stressed.

It doesn't help to feel obligated to do more, when you feel behind in other ways.

We are commanded to not run faster than we have strength.

We are also commanded - above everything else - even the temple... to love others AS we love ourselves.

Are you loving yourself?

[pooter1]

Thinker,Your comment has made so much sense to me. I have never ever thought about that. I loved the line It doesn't help to feel obligated to do more,when you feel behind in other ways.Thank you. Im not for sure how to love myself.How does one do that?

[ldsz]

Two things I think about when in comes to "loving one's self" which is another way, I suppose, of assessing self worth.

1. Don't judge your worth by comparing your faults with other's successes. Comparing ourselves with others can bring us down as we lower our feelings of self worth when we see we don't have what the others have, we aren't as good, etc.

2. Don't judge your self worth by your past mistakes. Strive to live each day a little better. As for the past mistakes: name it, claim it, dump it. Once you have repented why do you even need to bring up the past mistakes again. They have been erased from the heavens through the atonement, it is no longer a concern for Heavenly Father, than why should it be for us?

Know that no matter what you do, what you say, how life treats you, that always, no matter what, your Heavenly Father loves you and sees a huge value and a lot of worth in you. Always understand that he sees worth and potential in you.

When it comes to trials, it's just a part of the program of this earth life as Heavenly Father polishes you up a little bit in molding you to become yet a better and stronger, and HAPPIER person step by step, line upon line. Just be happy! Life is not suppose to be sad! We are to fulfill the measure of our creation, that we might have joy!

I hope things go better for you in the temple! And as you confront the day to day events that life so often brings.

[Guest Thinker]

Thinker,Your comment has made so much sense to me. I have never ever thought about that. I loved the line It doesn't help to feel obligated to do more,when you feel behind in other ways.Thank you. Im not for sure how to love myself.How does one do that?

Thank you - I'm glad to know it made sense.

You ask a good question - one that I cannot specifically answer for you - How do you love yourself?

I think it's similar to loving others - you hope & strive for what's best.

Sometimes what's best is putting on exercise clothes & going for a run, even if you don't feel like it.

Other times, it is enjoying your favorite treat & book or movie.

Then there are times, when loving yourself means to open up and love & let others love you - even if it feels scarey.

Generally, I think loving ourselves is like walking - which requires ongoing balance and movement. As mothers, we tend to multitask well, and this needs to be applied to loving ourselves as well - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually & practically.

[jayanna]

I think loving yourself includes appreciating the atonement, and how it was for you specifically. Loving yourself means admitting that Heavenly Father loves you and knows you personally.

It would then follow to trust His choices for you. If you have questions about temple, wouldn't it make sense that He has asked you to spend time there learning? He truly knows you, trust Him.

What better time for you to have available the comfort, peace, and sanctity of the temple to go to during these difficult times? He hasn't only called you to work, He is calling you to return to His presence in His very house! He has great love and care for you. It is truly a place between Heaven and Earth, when I am in there it helps me to remember why I am working so hard to follow the Lord...it helps me to remember where it is that I am following Him to.

This calling is a marvelous opportunity for you to learn about the temple in so many ways. Knowledge is a cure for fear. Trust and peace are a cure for adversity. He is handing you a cure. When the rains coming down and the winds are howling, that is the time to hold on tighter to the rod. God lets those rains and winds come, because He WANTS you to hold tighter to that rod.