Voting against principles? - How to say no.

[Milluw]

Someone i know just asked me if i would vote on a drawing of hers, that she just put into a contest. She desperately needs the votes, as she is a broke student, and she can't afford buying the tickets that is the prize. The ticket is for a drawing event. She is also one of three frontrunners.

She is a good artist, however there are some things on her picture that i feel like goes against my principles. It has some broken/bloody wings, and also it is a nude woman walking on a path drawn from behind.

(Were about to post a link for the drawing here, but i am not sure if it is allowed, so i decided not to. If anyone wants the link, i can send it to them.)

I also think that there is a difference between nudity and art, it is the way it is done. But this one doesn't feel tasteful or uplifting to the spirit. Despite that she draws well.

How do i express to her that i would like to pass? I don't think she will be hurt deeply over it but i do emagine that she might get pretty offended, and i don't want to do that.

What would any of you say to her, if she asked you?

Edited April 6, 2013 by Milluw

[Dravin]

How do i express to her that i would like to pass? I don't think she will be hurt deeply over it but i do emagine that she might get pretty offended, and i don't want to do that.

How about, "No, thank you."? If she's really interested in knowing the why you can be as general or specific as you think appropriate. If it's a knee jerk, "Why not?!?!" I'd keep it general. If she's honestly interested in your views of her art then I'd get more specific. It's not entirely clear why she's going to be offended, because as a friend you aren't willing to bite the bullet or because you'd dare not appreciate her art.

What would any of you say to her, if she asked you?

It depends on the nature of the relationship, but a simple, as mentioned above, "No, Thank you." is probably the mildest form of refusal. Not being familiar with the work I can't say how I personally feel about it, but it is pretty obvious assent isn't likely to cause issues, so I'm assuming dissent.

Edited April 6, 2013 by Dravin

[Wingnut]

Unless she presses you for a response, I just wouldn't answer, and just let it go.

[Milluw]

It's not entirely clear why she's going to be offended, because as a friend you aren't willing to bite the bullet or because you'd dare not appreciate her art.

Because she approached me somewhat "begging" me to do it (frowny face and all ), told me about her bad finances and that she really needed some votes on this. And said that it meant a lot for her. So its more the "why wont you support me" - i think would offend her. She is a very nice person, she wouldn't completely fly off or anything. But i don't think she completely understands the views that i have.

And ofcourse i would have supported her, if it was not that the pictures makes me feel like i shouldn't.

It depends on the nature of the relationship.

Its pretty casual, we are not deep friends or anything.

[Milluw]

Unless she presses you for a response, I just wouldn't answer, and just let it go.

I could do that, hoping she might have approached more in the same way and she would just forget. If only there was a way to know though for sure though just hope she wont be awaiting my response, if i do that..

[Wingnut]

A couple of thoughts:

(1) You could go to the contest, vote for whatever image you like best, and when she asks you if you voted, you can just tell her you did.

(2) You can just be evasive, and tell her you keep forgetting. Oops.

I don't "like" pages on FB if I don't actually like them. I won't vote for things that I don't think deserve it.

[Dravin]

But i don't think she completely understands the views that i have.

Then I guess you get to decide if it's worth trying to help her understand your views or not. Of course this is assuming a level of respect, that she actually cares if it bothers you or if all she cares about is getting you to vote for her.

Its pretty casual, we are not deep friends or anything.

Then I'd just let it blow over if she does get upset. You may call me cynical but if my not voting for your art because I don't approve of it is the kind of thing to create a storm I'm unlikely to try and fight for your friendship. I might make an effort to maintain a meaningful established relationship, but if it's casual friends... well, why would I make an effort to include drama in my life?

I don't "like" pages on FB if I don't actually like them. I won't vote for things that I don't think deserve it.

I have a policy of ignoring drives for inane/manipulative causes like, "If you disapprove of kicking puppies into boiling oil, like this picture!"

Edited April 6, 2013 by Dravin

[Milluw]

(1) You could go to the contest, vote for whatever image you like best, and when she asks you if you voted, you can just tell her you did.

(2) You can just be evasive, and tell her you keep forgetting. Oops.

Unfortunately she would be able to see which one, because it automatically posts what i choose. I think i just won't answer and let it go, be a bit evasive.

Thank you for the ideas! :)

[Milluw]

I might make an effort to maintain a meaningful established relationship, but if it's casual friends... well, why would I make an effort to include drama in my life?

Good point actually. I don't think me and her will become close friends anytime in the future either, we are in two very different places in our life. :) So i suppose theres no reason to overthink it.

I have a policy of ignoring drives for inane/manipulative causes like, "If you disapprove of kicking puppies into boiling oil like this picture!"

And they are everywhere!

[Wingnut]

Unfortunately she would be able to see which one, because it automatically posts what i choose.

You should be able to change your settings to show who it posts to. Things that I occasionally do do of this nature, I tend to set so that only I can view them. just so as not to annoy my friends.

[Milluw]

You should be able to change your settings to show who it posts to. Things that I occasionally do do of this nature, I tend to set so that only I can view them. just so as not to annoy my friends.

I didn't know you could do that brilliant, thanks for the tip!