Lakumi Posted October 25, 2013 Report Posted October 25, 2013 Something I didn't much think of when I was young, but I have always planned my future for me and only me. Though I had said when I was small I didn't want children people said I would change my mind when I got older, and I didn't. Same about marriage and, no part of me wants married life. I have many theories, such as I have never met anyone I remotely felt was interesting. Sometimes I think I just don't want to live around people, who will mess with my fragile balance (I've always been kind of unhappy, I imagine once I am finally alone, I can finally make a home how I want it-and I can't just let someone else ruin that). I don't feel alone in the actual sense, I don't think anyways. In a weak physical sense I guess. Some people have called me misanthropic for some of the things I have said. I remember joining a dating site and... after like a week was completely unsure why I did. I wasn't interested in meeting people, and apart from some laughs that were had when people were scared of my dolls, it was a useless endeavour. I don't know quite what to say to the whole misanthropy thing, I don't feel I have any problems, I am perfectly fine being alone. I don't like being the center of attention, as I was at church, I am used to lurking about in the shadows, only appearing when I choose. Though sometimes my mind just seems to forget religion, but that's probably the whole Asperger's thing. It jumps and it will focus on something and really only on that, my mind is always racing. Today I created a whole story, just by making a joke about a boat with a swimming pool... I didn't know where to put this, my rambling thoughts... Just something I felt the need to share. Quote
Bini Posted October 25, 2013 Report Posted October 25, 2013 Lakumi, if you're not ready for those things - you're not ready. And you may never be in this life, I don't know, because I don't know you. I'm struggling with some things in my own life, having lots of doubts and whatnot, but despite all that I've decided that no matter what - I will continue to live a good life. I will take care of myself, my mind and my body the best I can. And I will treat others the way I wish to be treated, the best I can. Those are good principles to live by I think. Quote
drham3rd Posted October 25, 2013 Report Posted October 25, 2013 Lakumi, it takes all kinds to make life interesting and no one should dismiss the way you have chosen to live! If you are happy and content, then that is what is most important! We all want to find the pathway that leads to happiness and contentment! You should never have to explain yourself to anyone. If anyone wants to befriend you, they have to be accepting of who you are! Remember, God loves you! Quote
Dravin Posted October 25, 2013 Report Posted October 25, 2013 (edited) Lakumi I suggest that coming here and sharing your thoughts (both in this thread and others) means you aren't okay with being alone, at least not in a complete sense. Does this means you currently want a wife and a horde of bestest friends with all the social activities and demands that entails? Nah. I think it does mean however that somewhere inside of you is a part that desires human interaction. Edited October 25, 2013 by Dravin Quote
Lakumi Posted October 25, 2013 Author Report Posted October 25, 2013 More so I think I want to be fine with it should it come up, so I don't mentally need to prepare to go play magic the gathering or to church. Quote
Dravin Posted October 25, 2013 Report Posted October 25, 2013 More so I think I want to be fine with it should it come up, so I don't mentally need to prepare to go play magic the gathering or to church.I'm an introvert, I took anti-anxiety medication because of social anxiety for a time. I can't say I know exactly what you go through, but I have some idea. What it ultimately came down for me is exposure and practice. It's somewhat like doing algebra or what have you, the first while is hard, it takes a lot of energy, and it can leave you drained if you have to do a lot of it. With enough practice it becomes easier, it takes less out of you to do it. As an introvert the 'algebra' won't be a way in which I become energized but it isn't a horrendous event I have to brace myself for. Quote
Lakumi Posted October 25, 2013 Author Report Posted October 25, 2013 Yeah it is certainly easier then it was a few years back, I do refuse all medications, I don't want them messing with my mind and perhaps changing how I think and destroying my stories Quote
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