building spiritual trust after freak out

[person122]

2007 I got some personal revelation while reading New Testament. Most powerful was book of Revelations. Only a few chapters. Nothing big unusual or anything. Fast forward to 2008 a sister and mom freaked me out that economy was going to callapse and basically 2nd Coming was in its way. All of a sudden husband is hearing the book of Revelation experience for the first time from a freaked out wife. He thought I was saying I knew when the Second Coming was (never did) and he was thinking I wanted to leave with the kids and live with my mom (never unless it was an emergency). He had to do a lot to keep me from freaking out. Thankfully he knew that my freaking out was not from the Spirit. I had to learn so much. It was the hardest spiritual course I have ever taken in my life. The problem is I have grown tons spiritually and I am not the same freaked out person but now he won't listen to inspiration that the Spirit gives to me. A for instance of inspiration: holding baby about a year and half after freaj out and Spirit told me I was to spend time with children and cleaning house wasn't that important. Husband dismissed it and said it was what I wanted and was from a bad source. Say what you may. You may agree with him, but I know what I know. My baby ended up being VERY active and I am suspecting oldest child has ADHD-inattentive. Heavenly Father knew about my children. He knew my baby would be very active. He knew my oldest had ADHD-inattentive (in K and 1st grade he would take 1 1/2-3 hours each night doing homework and my husband was gone 2 nights of the week because of his church calling). We didn't. It eats me up when I don't feel like I can do what the Spirit tells me to do. Well I think he is still scared that if he does it will start all over again. He made a comment recently that I use it to get what I want like my mom. I don't know what to do. What use is this growth if I can't use it for my family?I don't feel like I can get any personal revelation. I'm beginning to shut down. why pray or read scriptures? Why listen to Conference talks? If I get revelation, I am just going to get shot down. Sorry, this is long. Been eating me up for a long time. How do I build up the trust? Ask away if needed. Can't get 5 years down on one post.

[Guest]

Ask him to pray about things and find out for himself. Act on what promptings you can.

[Praetorian_Brow]

I have been on the receiving end of someone who freaked out on a regular basis and believed her anxiety was her spiritual inspiration. My mother pointed out that she was bipolar, just like my mother is.

Imagine walking along with a woman, admiring the changing leaves on the trees and all of a sudden she backs a garbage truck into him and says its her anxiety, he doesn't understand her, its her inspiration and thats how she feels.

You feel like he doesn't trust your inspirational feelings, but I would hazard a guess that he has grown wary of your anxiety and your evidence. I recommend that you look into therapy, or ways of managing your anxiety, but most importantly learn to manage who its dumped on.

[person122]

Imagine walking along with a woman, admiring the changing leaves on the trees and all of a sudden she backs a garbage truck into him and says its her anxiety, he doesn't understand her, its her inspiration and thats how she feels.

You feel like he doesn't trust your inspirational feelings, but I would hazard a guess that he has grown wary of your anxiety and your evidence. I recommend that you look into therapy, or ways of managing your anxiety, but most importantly learn to manage who its dumped on.

I know what you mean, now. That is what I use I use to because I learned it from my mom. That is part of my change and why I won't do it anymore. As a woman, I'll always ocaasionally freak out about something. But I have learned what the Spirit really feels like. It never involves the Spirit of fear. It has been a huge journey. So, there was stuff before too. Thanks.

[Quin]

I'm hearing that you're tending to take your Revelation as an all or nothing kind of thing.

Revelation that hard times are coming = end of the world

Revelation that you're going to need to devote time to your children = cancel everything else

Also, in your husband not trusting you, that rather than taking that in a moderate way (rebuilding trust over time) = leaping to why bother doing anything at all.

_____

Do I think you're using PR to get what you want?

Not necessarily.

But I think it IS blinding you.

As an example... I often have 5 ADHD kids in an 800 sqft house (for months).

My own, plus kinship providing.

Love. It.

And my house is totally clean.

Does it get trashed?

Yup.

Often.

But starting from about age 2 the kids have their chores & responsibilities, so it's cleaned every single day.

It took a lot of work to get a system down that worked (aka was fun, if its not fun, it doesn't happen).

And every time I jumped number (1-3-5), the added kids highlighted every flaw in the previous system.

And every time the other kids go home, we're left with holes in the system to fill.

So we have to be fairly flexible in readjusting how we do things

Improvise, adapt, overcome.

It's not... My kids and I are ADHD... So my house isn't clean.

It's... My kids and I are ADHD... so I had to work out a system to keep my house clean.

It's not... I have to choose between spending time with my kids and cleaning

It's... Figuring out how to do both (which meant enlisting their aid, and us cleaning as a unit in both daily and weekly chores)

________

My (very ADHD) family has a mantra:

When in danger,

Or in doubt

Run in circles

Scream and shout!

Which is a very tongue in cheek thing for taking a problem, and turning it on its head.

Q

[person122]

I'm hearing that you're tending to take your Revelation as an all or nothing kind of thing.

Revelation that hard times are coming = end of the world

Revelation that you're going to need to devote time to your children = cancel everything else

Also, in your husband not trusting you, that rather than taking that in a moderate way (rebuilding trust over time) = leaping to why bother doing anything at all.

_____

Do I think you're using PR to get what you want?

Not necessarily.

But I think it IS blinding you.

As an example... I often have 5 ADHD kids in an 800 sqft house (for months).

My own, plus kinship providing.

Love. It.

And my house is totally clean.

Does it get trashed?

Yup.

Often.

But starting from about age 2 the kids have their chores & responsibilities, so it's cleaned every single day.

It took a lot of work to get a system down that worked (aka was fun, if its not fun, it doesn't happen).

And every time I jumped number (1-3-5), the added kids highlighted every flaw in the previous system.

And every time the other kids go home, we're left with holes in the system to fill.

So we have to be fairly flexible in readjusting how we do things

Improvise, adapt, overcome.

It's not... My kids and I are ADHD... So my house isn't clean.

It's... My kids and I are ADHD... so I had to work out a system to keep my house clean.

It's not... I have to choose between spending time with my kids and cleaning

It's... Figuring out how to do both (which meant enlisting their aid, and us cleaning as a unit in both daily and weekly chores)

________

My (very ADHD) family has a mantra:

When in danger,

Or in doubt

Run in circles

Scream and shout!

Which is a very tongue in cheek thing for taking a problem, and turning it on its head.

Q

Thank you so much for your comments. I have turned it into an all or nothing thing and that isn't right. The all or nothing approach is depressing.

My baby turned out to be the kid who we couldn't turn our back on. If we were not looking, he was probably into something. He is calming down. We don't have to chase him around everywhere, now. Discipline is starting to work more, now. This child has been a hard one. He doesn't break things like he use to, even though he does have a knack for it.

Found out by accident a 3 months ago about son's ADHD-inattentive. Finding things to help.

[Quin]

Thank you so much for your comments. I have turned it into an all or nothing thing and that isn't right. The all or nothing approach is depressing.

My baby turned out to be the kid who we couldn't turn our back on. If we were not looking, he was probably into something. He is calming down. We don't have to chase him around everywhere, now. Discipline is starting to work more, now. This child has been a hard one. He doesn't break things like he use to, even though he does have a knack for it.

Found out by accident a 3 months ago about son's ADHD-inattentive. Finding things to help.

LOL...Yeah. ADHD toddlers = several years of 'accidental suicide watch'. Our friends were trying to limit screen times / encourage activity... Meanwhile I was thanking HF for the blessed blessed electronics because "plugging him in" was the ONLY break I'd get in a 14+ hour day. His little bum safely glued to one spot for an hour? Hallelujah angels singing in chorus on high. I didn't get that kid "playing quietly" for 15 minutes until he was 8 years old!!! Even then, it's "Hey, Mom! Look at this cool thing! / Ha! Wanna see something funny?/ Hey mom, check this out!" Every 5 minutes.

Also, I turned my living room into a play gym.

And never, ever, used a stroller.

(We'd do more than 10 miles a day. 3 in he morning, 3 in the afternoon, 3 in the evening, plus parking as far away as possible whenever we shopped or went anywhere, and was in 2 hours of gymnastics per day, and had stove piped corners in every room on my house, and little hands washing cupboards/doing "running laundry" -grab one item, run as fast as you can to the machine, lob it in, grab another. Ditto, until the machine is full- cooking... CONSTANT activity. From 5am to bedtime. Constant vigalence.)

It gets intense.

Fun, though.

Q

[person122]

I am thinking I'm acting and thinking, according to my knowledge, like a recovered addict. "I'm better. Things are fine. Now accept me! Forget about the past. It is behind." However, the other person can't forget. They have to be given the time to see if they can trust the addict. I showed my unhealthy spirit of fear person before this ever happened. He has seen my mom with it. How do I build his trust back? What would a recovered addict do in my case? Would it help if I told him right away about personal revelation that would impact family life or my life no matter how small? And then if I do and he doesn't accept it, do I back away from it and not push it? How do I help him know I have truly changed? Is this going to take years? Probably.

Thanks for all your responses and help. It is like therapy to my soul. Talking it out is really helping!

[Guest]

I am thinking I'm acting and thinking, according to my knowledge, like a recovered addict. "I'm better. Things are fine. Now accept me! Forget about the past. It is behind." However, the other person can't forget. They have to be given the time to see if they can trust the addict. I showed my unhealthy spirit of fear person before this ever happened. He has seen my mom with it. How do I build his trust back? What would a recovered addict do in my case? Would it help if I told him right away about personal revelation that would impact family life or my life no matter how small? And then if I do and he doesn't accept it, do I back away from it and not push it? How do I help him know I have truly changed? Is this going to take years? Probably.

Thanks for all your responses and help. It is like therapy to my soul. Talking it out is really helping!

Your husband is entitled to his own personal revelations. As the priesthood holder in the house, he has the authority to receive revelations for the family. Talk to him about your personal revelations and ask him to seek his own confirmation of the revelation. If, in his authority as the priesthood leader, he instructs you to do something different, then heed his counsel.

The more your revelations coincide with his, the more trust builds. It doesn't matter if it takes 5 hours or 50 years...

That's really all there is to it... unless you don't trust his authority as the patriarch of your family. Then we're talking about something different entirely.

[person122]

LOL...Yeah. ADHD toddlers = several years of 'accidental suicide watch'.

Also, I turned my living room into a play gym.

And never, ever, used a stroller.

(We'd do more than 10 miles a day. 3 in he morning, 3 in the afternoon, 3 in the evening, plus parking as far away as possible whenever we shopped or went anywhere, and was in 2 hours of gymnastics per day, and had stove piped corners in every room on my house, and little hands washing cupboards/doing "running laundry" -grab one item, run as fast as you can to the machine, lob it in, grab another. Ditto, until the machine is full- cooking... CONSTANT activity. From 5am to bedtime. Constant vigalence.)

It gets intense.

Fun, though.

Q

Did you put child in gymnastic classes or just at your house?

Intense it correct. Mine was more from him getting into things... everything that he could reach. Our upstairs is 1300 sq. ft. and there was a childproof door handle thingy on EVERY door. Never had that with my other 2 kids. Crazy.

[Quin]

You know the upside of having totally different kids?

See! See! Is not me! My other kids are FINE.

I don't actually get to do that, as we're all ADHD all the time... But my mom got to say that with my brothers and sisters after ME (until my baby brother was born, and she bookended her neurotrophic all kids with "God give me a burst of patience!" Kids. . It's become a family joke/term of endearment. Super loving home. But still true. So many people blame kid personalities on parents, when hello!, we all have our own personalities, challenges, struggles, assets, strengths independent of how our parents raise us.

Q

[person122]

You know the upside of having totally different kids?

See! See! Is not me! My other kids are FINE.

I don't actually get to do that, as we're all ADHD all the time... But my mom got to say that with my brothers and sisters after ME (until my baby brother was born, and she bookended her neurotrophic all kids with "God give me a burst of patience!" Kids. . It's become a family joke/term of endearment. Super loving home. But still true. So many people blame kid personalities on parents, when hello!, we all have our own personalities, challenges, struggles, assets, strengths independent of how our parents raise us.

Q

It is nice having to non-active children before my third. I definitely knew it was his personality because I hadn't had problems before. I never had any of my other children have to leave sacrament every Sunday before. It started when he was 6 months old. He is the child I knew was ready to get going even before he was conceived. Funny thing, though, is I have seen more spiritual gifts with him than any of the others.

Read one of my previous posts. It is my oldest who has the ADHD-inattentive. Not my third. Sorry about that. He behaves. He is really easily distracted and we have to stay on top of him. My third is the active one. My second child is easy. He was the one who when he was 11 months old got hold of a book with normal pages, looked at it, turned a couple of pages and then put it down. He is the one who this past Sat. we told to clean the closet in their room. He finished the job (no nagging). We look in the closet. Neat as a pin. He matched all the shoes and put them in rows! I would have just been happy just with a clean closet. That is my 2nd child. He sees things, sees how they are to be done, and does it. it is nice. But like with many non-problem children he gets the least attention.