A life without God

[Roseslipper]

My husband and I were very active when we first met and in the early years of our marriage. I was in the Relief Society Presidency and he was Elders Quorum President. The kids came along, and we stopped going when they were young because it was such a battle every Sunday to get them to get ready and attend. They absolutely hated Church. Hated their classes, and hated us for making them go. My husband baptized each of them when they were 8, and we all promptly became inactive. Fast-forward to present. Both kids are inactive still, they drink and have no idea of moral standards and despise organized religion. They have no tolerance for me attending Church and the duties and demands that my new calling entails. I've started attending again these past several months and received a new calling last week.

My husband drinks every night, watches porn, lies, keeps secrets from me about my children and how they are doing because he agrees with them that it's none of my business, hasn't touched me in any affectionate way in over 7 years now. No hugs, cuddles, or kisses, no hand holding, no kind words, no empathy or sympathy about anything that concerns me, and sex has been non-existent for at least 7 years too.

There has been zero support for me for the demands of my new calling (Primary Secretary), and he allows both our children to abuse me verbally and emotionally. Once my son shoved me and knocked me down and I called 911 because I was afraid. My husband got on the phone with them on the house phone and told them I was lying. The police came and threatened to arrest ME for lying and trying to file a false report.

He is impatient and selfish, and views the Church and members with contempt and hatred.

If I had the means to take care of myself financially, I would be out of this hell-hole faster than you could blink.

As it is though, I must endure because I have nowhere else to turn, unless I wanted to be out on the streets homeless.

I'm trying to be a good Mormon by accepting this new calling and attending regularly, counseling with my Bishop, etc., but as the saying goes, "It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys."

This might be awfully harsh, but it's the God's truth: If I had it all to do again, I wouldn't. Not with him.

 

Silhouette  I want to give you a big giant hug  (((((((((hug)))))))  I am so sorry to hear this.  You do not deserve to be treated like that!!  I do hope that things will get better for you one way or another.  Its good you are counseling with the bishop.  The best thing any one of us can do, no matter how hard it is, is to hold on to the gospel!!! HOLD on its better then anything alse, it is my life jacket.  keep trying, know that Heavenly Father knows all, we cant hide from him and you know I am grateful for this. For he is  the truth, the way and the light.  He is the most important!! HIs love, his blessings are the BEST and incompass's all. :)

[PolarVortex]

If I had the means to take care of myself financially, I would be out of this hell-hole faster than you could blink.

As it is though, I must endure because I have nowhere else to turn, unless I wanted to be out on the streets homeless.

 

Do you really think you would be homeless?  I agree with the previous comment about California being a decent state for wives in your situation.  Robin Williams reportedly committed suicide because of financial stress due in no small part to so much of his wealth flowing to his ex-wives.  California's laws aren't stacked against you by any means.

 

Would someone in your ward be able to put you in touch with a family-law expert who can explain your options?  Simply knowing your options precisely does not obligate you do anything, and it can greatly illuminate your battlefield and perhaps tease out some new options that you hadn't even thought of.

 

Surround yourself with friends and family who will support you.  This is a key survival skill.  Don't try to press forward alone, no matter which route you choose.

 

You may have more control over this situation than you realize.  Plenty of people reboot their lives at every age.  I've read your posts here and you strike me as a thoughtful and intelligent person.  If I were a boss, I'd hire you. 

[Roseslipper]

Maybe their is some one in your ward or stake that you can move in with and help them with the rent. Even if its just temporary.  No person woman or man deserves to be treated like you are being treated!!!  This is abuse.  Only you can make the descion but know that the Lord doesn't want any of us to live in these kind of situations. I know it is hard to leave but you might have to if he doesn't want to change.........