notquiteperfect

Having him help out more.

I'm not a fan of thread highjacks so I won't respond to everyone individually but to those that took what I said out of context (whether intimacy or housework responsibilities) I really don't appreciate it. I'll just figure I hit a nerve (or two) but please be more aware in the future.

Interesting, Vort. Seems like you need to take your own advice and read the THREAD more carefully. Remember how I stated that those things are in different paragraphs that talk about different things??? I'll give you a clue - intimacy and housework.

OK - if that's what you're after - Yes, I experience PMS but luckily for me (and hubby) not for an entire week. I won't go into what I deal with physically but all I have to do his let my husband know it's the "time of the month" and he knows to be a bit more understanding, etc. He knows that until he goes a day every month feeling like he's been punched in the gut or stabbed in the back, he doesn't have room to complain about it. Also, as mentioned previously - magnesium may be helpful.

Had another thought - Have you looked at sites like sistermissionaryfashion.com? I haven't shopped there myself but modesty is guaranteed and I'm sure they'd be reasonable priced. Also, as far as winter fabric - corduroy comes to mind. Hope that helps!

Just fyi - The free viewing has been extended but expires in 5 days. Please watch it and spread the word. It could really make a difference for you or someone else.

Omega - Kids should have chores and enough of them that they aren't shocked when they reach adulthood and have to do their fair share. Also, see my response to Vort above just so we're on the same page. Stay-at-home moms are busy, too. They're not sitting around twiddling their thumbs. So, quite frankly, a 'mom's job' is to teach and one way to do that is to delegate the tasks at hand.

notquiteperfect, on 10 Mar 2015 - 08:02 AM, said: Speaking only for this snippet quoted above, this might be the worst advice possible. Never use sex as a bargaining tool or withhold it as a punishment. That is like 180 degrees from what you should ever be doing. Terrible, terrible idea. Vort - You cut off the rest of that paragraph that talked about having him help around the house more. It was a separate paragraph for a reason.

I have two siblings that live in St George/Santa Clara so I've visited there a number of times. I prefer green over red but they love it. I also have another sibling that moved there to be closer to them but didn't even last a year - it wasn't for her and she didn't see them as often as she thought she would. Anyway, if you feel 'called' to a certain place, there's probably a reason and you'll never know how it will really go till you act. If you do move, I hope it works out even better than you hope. Good luck.

You mentioned that you're a stay at home MOM so no, it's not "your job to keep the house neat and tidy" - it's the kids! How else are they going to learn and be ready to be on their own and be good companions/roommates/spouses? With that said, it sounds like you don't ask him to help out enough during non-pms times. If he were helping more, he wouldn't complain about it during that time of the month. As far as 'no intimacy' playing a part - he should be able to handle a week (didn't he have to handle more than that after having the kids - assuming they weren't adopted?). So basically, I'd turn this into 2 weeks than 3 etc till he got a clue. Honestly, you're doing him no favors by doing too much. I know a couple who is currently apart (valid reasons) and the husband has no clue how to clean up after himself, etc. and the wife doesn't want to go visit because she doesn't want to have to play 'maid'... Also, did your husband not grow up with a mom or sisters? If so, this shouldn't be a new concept for him. Maybe he needs a reminder. I'd be telling him that you need support not attitude and give him a glimpse that it could (and might) be worse.

Duff (and whomever it applies) - Have you ever considered that things we're asked to do is for our *benefit*?! Despite what you may have heard, coffee really isn't good for you (nor are pierced ears - since you brought it up). Also, sometimes I wonder if some of the things we're asked to do are Heavenly Father's way of letting us prove how much of a disciple we're actually going to be - regardless of history, changes, etc.

Uhh - what about buying or making some skirts? They're very versatile and I'm sure you could find the right size at a decent price or make ones that are simple and easy. Just tossing that out there.

Growing up, my mom put an emphasis on "avoiding even the appearance" so I abstained from all teas and the like. But then as an adult I started learning how healthy *herbal infusions* are and decided to loosen up a bit (though I don't patronize coffee spots if at all possible). My friend calls them herbal drinks so her young kids don't get confused about the Word of Wisdom. Anyway, as far as 'alienating some' - we do it all the time. We have crafts even though not everyone is crafty, sports activities even though some aren't athletic, Mother's/Father's Day even though some aren't parents, etc. Seeing how much I enjoyed 'Tea Time' on the cruises I've been on, if our RS had this as an activity, I'd go and probably have a great time!

Duff - It wasn't made mandatory in the beginning to give the Saints time to adjust (ie mercy). I'd post a link to prove my point but I've got to get ready for church so maybe later unless someone else gets to it first. eta - From YW manual 1, lesson 38: To be sure the young women know that the Word of Wisdom is a binding commandment for us today, read the following: “The reason undoubtedly why the Word of Wisdom was given—as not by ‘commandment or restraint’ was that at that time, at least, if it had been given as a commandment it would have brought every man, addicted to the use of these noxious things, under condemnation; so the Lord was merciful and gave them a chance to overcome, before He brought them under the law. Later on, it was announced from this stand, by President Brigham Young, that the Word of Wisdom was a revelation and a command of the Lord. I desired to mention that fact, because I do not want you to feel that we are under no restraint. We do not want to come under condemnation” (Joseph F. Smith, in Conference Report, Oct. 1913, p. 14).

John - I'm sorry that you've experienced these things. Based on what you've described, it's quite likely that you have developed a heart-wall (for protection) so love can't get in or out. *Please* go to healerslibrary.com to find a practitioner that can help change this. You are worth it!!! x To understand more, there's a book you can read - The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson (a trained Chiropractor and practicing Mormon)