Friendshipping practice

[The Folk Prophet]

And it's called Friendshipping, aka, snake-oil gospel salesman, if you do it in that manner.  There are many other better ways of sharing the gospel rather than sharing the gospel by being "plastic".  LIVING the gospel is a better message than "selling" the gospel.

 

Putting accusatory negative names to something doesn't render truth from untruth. Name calling, even directed at actions, doesn't change the reality of what it is.

 

When I pursue friendship with people for the sake of sharing the gospel when I otherwise might not it is without guile. I do so because I understand what is important in the eternities. The fact that the mortal perspective of it gets in the way for most people does not change that eternal reality. And I will not stop doing so because pickle-suckers are throwing liberal minded accusations like "plastic" and "snake-oil" at it. I know my duty and I will step up to it regardless of the mean names thrown at my actions.

 

If some see it as mistaken, too bad. But I know who's out there actually talking to their neighbors, actually inviting their neighbors places, actually serving their neighbors, and actually obeying the commandments of the Lord. And I know who's not under the baloney guise of not wanting to be fake.

 

that's the only way you know how to obey, then okay.

 

I don't know if you can't understand me or are just being stubborn. That is, very clearly, not the "only" way I know how to obey, and the inference is silly. The plain point is that it is not always so black and white, and that there are times when we need to do our duty of sharing the gospel despite the mortal imperfections that we all have. When you put it into offensive, personal, accusatory terms like this it shows me that you either unwilling or unable to think reasonably about the matter.

 

So either go back, actually carefully read my points, and address them reasonably, or I'm done.

[Guest]

Putting accusatory negative names to something doesn't render truth from untruth. Name calling, even directed at actions, doesn't change the reality of what it is.

 

When I pursue friendship with people for the sake of sharing the gospel when I otherwise might not it is without guile. I do so because I understand what is important in the eternities. The fact that the mortal perspective of it gets in the way for most people does not change that eternal reality. And I will not stop doing so because pickle-suckers are throwing liberal minded accusations like "plastic" and "snake-oil" at it. I know my duty and I will step up to it regardless of the mean names thrown at my actions.

 

If some see it as mistaken, too bad. But I know who's out there actually talking to their neighbors, actually inviting their neighbors places, actually serving their neighbors, and actually obeying the commandments of the Lord. And I know who's not under the baloney guise of not wanting to be fake.

 

 

I don't know if you can't understand me or are just being stubborn. That is, very clearly, not the "only" way I know how to obey, and the inference is silly. The plain point is that it is not always so black and white, and that there are times when we need to do our duty of sharing the gospel despite the mortal imperfections that we all have. When you put it into offensive, personal, accusatory terms like this it shows me that you either unwilling or unable to think reasonably about the matter.

 

So either go back, actually carefully read my points, and address them reasonably, or I'm done.

 

 

I'm fairly reasonable.  Maybe you aren't.  Dunno.  I'm telling you what I see as Friendshipping as that thing the book Power of the Everyday Missionary is warning us against.  You disagreed with the book.  I defended the

book and added the MLM example for clarity.  I even added other ways of sharing the gospel that does not go against the advice on the book.  Power of Everyday Missionary is a book that is used by the Ward Mission Program.  So, it's a pretty good bet that the warning against "what I called friendshipping" is sound advice.

 

If you don't understand what I mean by MLM circles, I get it.  It seems to be more prevalent with women.  It is pretty black and white - both in MLM and sharing the gospel - it's a terrible way to sell Tupperware just like it is a terrible way to share the gospel.  You stated you have other ways of sharing them - good, use those and drop this one.

 

You might think, what does it matter if the guy ends up buying a Tupperware anyway?  Well, it matters.  It falls under the commandment to be honest with your dealings with your fellow man.

Edited October 7, 2015 by anatess

[Guest]

What on earth are you going on about?

[Guest]

...we aren't converted to a church, we are converted to the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we build on anything else, we will fall. My ward is witnessing that now with a family that has joined the church over the last couple of years.  ...the family is moving on to another church. The Gospel didn't change, but their reason for coming dried up. 

Your focus here (as I perceive it) is on the people who resemble the various seeds mentioned in the Savior's parable--in other words those who receive the message. (And I'm not disputing anything you've said.) There seem to be other scriptural admonitions that focus on those of us who accept the charge to carry and deliver the message. I'm thinking of the Savior's admonition to let our light shine, and Alma's exhortation to his son, Corianton, concerning his bad example. Would you agree that *the manner* with which we go about missionary work (or "friendshipping" since that's the name of the topic) is also important to the Lord since it can have a direct influence on the result? 

Edited October 7, 2015 by UT.starscoper

[Guest]

Sure, but I don't think we are obligated to be best friends with everyone or anyone in the church, either new or old, and some people think that's what fellowshippig is. We preach the gospel for what it is, we love and serve each other, and that's what should endure. That doesn't mean we have to hang out all the time or vacation together. It means this is our family with whom we worship and serve. Those who come to church for friendship or free stuff our anything other than the fullness of Christ's Gospel are basing their testimonies on the wrong thing, and the seed will not take root.

Edited October 7, 2015 by Eowyn

[Guest]

Sure, but I don't think we are obligated to be best friends with everyone or anyone in the church, either new or old, and some people think that's what fellowshippig is. We preach the gospel for what it is, we love and serve each other, and that's what should endure. That doesn't mean we have to hang out all the time or vacation together. It means this is our family with whom we worship and serve. Those who come to church for friendship or free stuff our anything other than the fullness of Christ's Gospel are basing their testimonies on the wrong thing, and the seed will not take root.

Then perhaps what happens is we sometimes discuss these things in terms of the extremes of each others' positions, thereby mischaracterizing them.

[Guest]

However the OP is talking about making friends and then cutting ties when we've "got" them, which is what some accuse us of.

I'm saying that what it is and should be is that we are reaching out to teach and to offer the Gospel, and then if when they join the church, they get more of the same: teaching and serving, and then worshiping together. If people really are acting like your new bestie while you investigate, and then vanish off the face of the earth, that is a problem; but neither should the new member expect their social calendar to suddenly fill up, anymore than anyone else in the ward. 

[Guest]

However the OP is talking about making friends and then cutting ties when we've "got" them, which is what some accuse us of.

I'm saying that what it is and should be is that we are reaching out to teach and to offer the Gospel, and then if when they join the church, they get more of the same: teaching and serving, and then worshiping together. If people really are acting like your new bestie while you investigate, and then vanish off the face of the earth, that is a problem; but neither should the new member expect their social calendar to suddenly fill up, anymore than anyone else in the ward. 

Sure, I get it.  :)

[The Folk Prophet]

I'm fairly reasonable.  

 

Then why do you continue to ignore the obvious, and very reasonable, idea that we aren't going to be best buds with every person on the planet, and yet we still have a moral obligation to share the gospel with them?

 

You're acting like I'm advocating being underhanded. If you've read and actually considered my points that is clearly nowhere within them.

 

The book is asking for something that is unrealistic. Instead of dealing with this practical reality of life and presenting possible solutions or alternatives to approach the reality, you accuse me of being incapable of obeying any other way, call my views snake-oil and plastic, and generally insult my thoughts on the matter.

 

I'm not insulting your view or the books view. I'm pointing out that we cannot live in ideals. Ideally, I get is. Ideally we'd be best buds with everyone. It isn't practical. And it is unreasonable of you to disregard that.

 

It's also, I might add, hardly apples-to-apples to compare the purchase of Tupperware to Celestial Glory. 

[The Folk Prophet]

However the OP is talking about making friends and then cutting ties when we've "got" them, which is what some accuse us of.

 

I believe this is perception that comes from the fact that we naturally would tend to be more involved with them while they are in the middle of converting the gospel. I'm also naturally more involved with anyone when training them or helping them progress in any regard. Once they are trained, we have less cause to be directly involved one with another. If the trainee feels betrayed by that they may be feeling betrayed by a false perception more than the so-called snake-oil.

 

Obviously if someone is, and I suppose there are some few like this, being underhanded about it intentionally, that is a problem, as you say. It's a little hard for me to swallow that the faithful saints who are actually interested in sharing the gospel with their neighbors, which is strong evidence of their faithfulness, are secretly used car salesmen or something. It doesn't make sense (other than the odd oddball -- there are odd people are capable of doing things that don't make sense here and there). What makes more sense is that in this everyone's-a-victim, picked-upon, overly-sensitive world we live in, that people are reading hurt and betrayal into situations where there is nothing of the sort.

[Guest]

 

Hi, I am a recent convert to the LDS faith. But prior to my baptism I was reading a lot of anti-mormon stuff like this known practice called “friendshipping”. And I was wondering if this was an actual practice? ...

 

I think the summary of what all are saying is that there may be some times that such a thing happens.  Other times it doesn't.  Either way, this is not an official practice.  How on earth would such a thing even make sense?  What would be the motive?

 

I can tell you I once taught a young woman who was friends with a member of the ward.  The thing is that they were teenagers.  And as teenagers sometimes do, they had a falling out.  And this happened even before the girl was baptized.  We spent the rest of the time as missionaries teaching her in her own home rather than the member girl's house.

 

I believe what you may be experiencing and what others sometimes experience is just plain life.  It doesn't have anything to do with a "common practice" by the Church.  

 

What I've seen all too often as a third party is that Satan doesn't like the fact you've found the light.  So he's going to put as many obstacles in your way including giving you sunglasses.  And often times this means that the people who were close to you and helping you all-of-a-sudden become very busy because of something that has nothing to do with you.

[DevtheWind]

Many things we do could be considered friendship ping I suppose except for the part about cutting ties...what would the benefit of that be???

I assume you've heard of home teaching and visiting teaching....you are given assigned people to visit and deliver a message, and generally help out if needed. It is hoped that by this process true friendships will emerge. You could call that friendshiping.

In young men's and young women's groups they are encouraged to seek the less active and invite them to activities. Again the goal is that true friendships will form regardless of whether the person come to church or not.

We meet in congregations that are assigned to us based on geographicAL boundaries. It is hoped that true friendships will develop and they do.

Ward missionaries visit investigators and hopefully true friendships are formed.

I think my point is abundantly clear here. If by friendship ping you mean being ask3d, sometimes assigned to meet people and attempt to develop true friendships then yes we do that abundantly.

If you mean that we create fake friends just to lure people in and then abandon them, no we don't do that.

Most importantly here I think is what have you experienced. I hope you are making true friends in your ward.

Do all these friendship opportunities succeed? No, but that's just life...many marriages fail too because we humans struggle with relationships.

This^^^