Strained Sibling Relationship

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On 6/24/2019 at 7:07 PM, LiterateParakeet said:

your parents, who know the situation better than us strangers on a forum, support you keeping some distance.

Unfortunately, it is true that my parents have advised me to keep my distance from them. After I told my sister and her husband that I want them to stay away from my family if they are always going to be haters, my brother-in-law replied that this is on my head. Obviously he's not going to take responsibility for how he contributed to the problem. It's sad to me that my brother-in-law has the opportunity to be a peacemaker/ arbitrator but he choose to add gasoline to the fire, i.e he often makes the situation worse.

I will be reading the book you recommended soon. Thank you again!

Edited by jojo01
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23 hours ago, mnn2501 said:

JoJo, you are not meant to be anyone's doormat: you are a Child of God. I see no reason for you to apologize for anything based on what you have told us here. You don't need this relationship on these terms, leave things as they are. Perhaps someday they'll come around but as far as I'm concerned 'the ball is in their court'

Thank you for saying that! I have no issues with apologizing to people even when I'm not wrong. But in this situation, I don't want to feed someone else's ego and make them think that it is okay to continue to act this way, and for me to constantly apologize. Obviously my sister has the victim mentality and "every victim needs a villain". As I said before, I have overlooked some outbursts from my sister, even the ones where she was trying to cause issues in my marriage.

You are right, I do need to leave things as they are. Perhaps, at some point, our relationship will be better but it's just not meant to be right now. I appreciate you for taking the time to respond!

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On 6/24/2019 at 9:43 PM, MormonGator said:

AMEN. Perfectly said. It's mostly non believers who think this way. "Hey, you call yourself a Christian, can you loan me 500$ to fix my car? What? You won't! How dare you call yourself a believer!" People also misunderstand "forgiveness". That doesn't mean "I'm allowing you to do bad things to me." IE-Your girlfriend cheats on you for the 7th time. You throw her out. She comes back begging for forgiveness, saying "You are a Christian, you must forgive me." No. Doesn't work that way. 

Good point! My brother-in-law has told me that I am bitter because I do not want to have a relationship with them anymore, at least not on those terms as far as I'm concerned. Oh well! We are all entitled to our own opinions. It was Elder Holland who said last year in Conference "Nor did he (Jesus Christ) say, "In order to forgive fully, you have to reenter a toxic relationship, or return to an abusive, destructive circumstance."". What you said, reminded me of his talk titled "The ministry of Reconciliation". Thanks again!

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