Doctrine Of Election

[Lindy]

I will have faith and pray sincerely one final time for as long as needed. After this, please understand that I tried and do not doubt my sincerity....

WOW, takes a lot of guts to give God a time line to follow. I wouldn't be as bold.

[Nicodemus]

For one who is somewhat convinced of the position he now holds, for one who really does not wholly believe the LDS church is true, but is willing to pray with an open mind and genuine sincerity, it seems that time is being spent for naught. I do not know if your church is true. You may. I'm willing to see if it is. Shall I pray over the Koran for as long as I have prayed over the BOM? Would that not be time not well spent- in fact, would that not be something that disappoints God?

If I am disappointing God, then He HAS done well to communicate such. If He is pleased by my inquiring, then nothing leads me to believe such.

The reason why I'm going to see if I can make it another week praying as I have seen that Starsky is right- I will pray that God will remove any selfish or prideful motivations for joining the church, that I might pray for sacrificial service, and that He would lead me to truth. I will strive my hardest to keep myself pure and free from sin for this purpose especially. It might be that I am too unpure to receive the message. I will pray with sincerity as oft as I can for as long as I can. And I don't know how much longer that will be.

Firmly set in the church, it is easy to advise a faceless name on the internet in a detached setting and give advice like a counselor with little thought and with which the outcome or details have no bearing on your own personal lives. But for myself, the effect WILL either make or break me. It DEFINES EVERYTHING about who I am. I am being careful. If your church is wrong, I believe I am doing the right thing by waiting before joining so that I might know. If it is right, I will know. But as for now, I am torn apart between two planets- one illusionary and one real, which is which I do not know- and am just so weary of living in this vacuum. I feel like I'm dead having no loyalty to any particular church but seeking- living in a biological sense but spiritually in a static state of absolute zero. The reason why I was originally intending for that to be my last try was because I am not strong enough to live like this any longer- I had some sense of peace and happiness at some point in the past in my church; perhaps that is the truth but this is the devil trying to pull me from it. I might return to my church and seek that peace and happiness I had in a relationship with Christ. Perhaps this is a trial for God to cause me to return to my church a stronger saint. Or perhaps I am meant to join your church. The Bible says that God will not try me beyond what I am able. And I need the living water- I am dying of thirst in this state of indecisiveness. If God DOES desire me to join the LDS church, believe me when I say- I cannot go on much longer unaided.

I am happy now that I was completely honest in my first post regarding this. Though, lindy and Starsky, yours are responses I do not wish to hear, they are what I need to hear.

[Lindy]

The Bible says that God will not try me beyond what I am able.

And sometimes we all get to that point where we cry out "enough" I understand better the struggle you are going thru. I am sorry that you havent' gotten the answer you have been looking for (yet)...just remember God does things in HIS time...not in ours.

If I am disappointing God, then He HAS done well to communicate such. If He is pleased by my inquiring, then nothing leads me to believe such.

Test of faith maybe? I cannot see God being disappointed in anyone that is looking for answers regarding His kingdom. I think that the devil breeds disappointment and unhappiness in many cases. You have done nothing to cause disappointment.

The trials of Job come to mind....and he never lost faith in conditions he wasn't too fond of. Your trials are not about losing faith...I think they are trials of patience.

I don't think that it is a matter of "our" church or "another" church....I'm wondering if it is just a matter of learning something that you need in your life.

I think you nailed it on the head....it's a trial.

MHO.