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I am posting to this forum and seek any comments or suggestions to ease my burdon. I have been divorced for almost 2 years and remarried. My ex husband was physically, emotionally and financially abusive with me. I endured being shaken, yelled at and being controlled in many ways. I was never allowed any money, never allowed to have friends or to even go anywhere without him. In order to stay with him I was taking meds for depression, anxiety and sleep to be able to withstand the way I was treated. Finally when I could take no more after 19 years and he had started to push me and cause bruises and hold me hostage I decided to divorce. This caused the greatest anguish to my soul as I knew that I could no longer have that wonderful loving eternal marriage. It caused my children great anguish and anger towards me that I would "dare to destroy our family." I know that I did the right thing but I am feeling such anguish to my very soul. My parents would not support me in my decision. My family chooses not to believe the torture and agony I was in for 19 years of marriage. My father told me that perhaps it would be better to stay than to be single and that perhaps we were just angry with each other. My children know how my ex spouse treated me and how he would abuse them but they choose to live with and support him. I feel so very alone except for knowing that the Lord knows the truth of the situation and I feel his sustaining love. It is so difficult to endure the loss of support from my family and feel that I am all alone in this world with the exception of the Lord in my life. But I know that the day will come even on the judgement seat of the Lord that the light and truth will come forward. But how does a person get through this difficult situation of standing alone in this life, enduring the lies and deciet that others inflict upon you even though you pray and read the scriptures for there are many times that I feel so totally alone in my life. Please help me to know how to bear such a burdon as being abondoned by your family and children.

Dear DMHW, I have been where you are now. I had a husband that was abusive with me and performed sexual acts that I did not want to participate in. I tried to get help for my husband for over 16 years but he denied that he had a problem. We were married for 19 years. Things kept getting worse and I like you was on medication to help me to deal with the problems I had. Then one day he started to be physically abusive with me and I called the police. He was arrested and taken to jail. It was the most difficult and heart and soul wrenching thing for me to make the decision to divorce him at the time. At times I didn't know if I could make it. Luckily I had people to help me and were there to give me support. Now I have remarried to a wonderful man and have discovered just how bad my life had been. I am off of all of my medications. I have been going to see a counselor to help me deal with the abuse. In counseling I have learned that half of the problem I had was his problem in how he had treated me and the other half was my problem because I had not taken care of myself and I had allowed him to treat me like that for so long. Please please take care of yourself and do not allow him to do this to you anymore. You can't change him. I have learned that the Lord does not want us to be miserable. I know that you are miserable. This is of Satan. Satan is being allowed into your home and relaionship. My advice to you is to get out. You deserve to feel love and to be loved. I know that it is hard to do because it was the hardest decision I had to make in my life and it hurt and ripped into the very heart and core of my being. I have been there. I understand where you are. If you ever need to talk drop me a line.

Welcome MacLaine This site is wonderful for support. I hope you like it here. If you need to talk to someone just let me know I'll lend a listening ear