My husband and I met in High School. We were 16. He wasn't a member of the church then, but joined a short time later. When we were 20, we married and were sealed in the temple 1 year later. This would be in Aug 2000.
We have a very happy marriage. Both of us would say so. In 2004, he got a new job. There was an employee there who was also married, but known for her extra-marital affairs. I noticed she would call my husband's cell phone once in a while, but he told me they had to use cell phones at work to get ahold of him. This seemed right, because other co-workers called him during work hours too.
However, I soon got the cell phone bill and it was huge! I noticed they were talking often. I asked him about it, and he said that they were 'just friends'. She had a bad marriage, no friends, and was lonely. This went on for a few months and was, obviously, a rough time in our marriage. I told him not to talk to her anymore, but he 'didn't want to hurt her feelings'.
It all came to a head on Christmas, when I noticed she left him a voicemail thanking him for his christmas present (he had bought her a hat she wanted because "she lost her job and her he felt bad for her"). Well, I just lost it. That night he promised me he would cut her off and he did. She even called him 6 months later from a new cell number and he told her not to call him and deleted the number from his phone.
After the whole incident had died down, I asked him if there was ever anything physical. He told me no. Over the last 5 years, we have moved on, and been pretty happy together. I haven't questioned his loyalty and no other 'incidents' like that have occured.
Even so, this whole 'emotional affair' would come up every once in a while. I just couldn't let it go. Deep down, I felt like he was still hiding something from me. It always felt like I wasn't getting a straight answer.
Finally, FINALLY this morning, he caved and admitted that they did have a physical relationship. They kissed several times in the stairwell at work and one night he met up with her and her friends. They were just talking when she led him into the bathroom and they had sex.
That was the only time it happened. He said it was dirty and he felt awful. For the last 5 years he's been too much of a coward to tell me (his words). Now that I know, for sure, I am relieved. But I am also confused on how to feel!!! I need help.
He said he is willing to do anything to make things right. We have called our Stake Pres for an appointment (can't go to our Bishop first for a few reasons). Does anyone know the process for repenting of infidelity? Is he going to be ex-communicated???
