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Found 6 results

  1. Hello! Please read my story, I really need advice. Well my situation is very tough.. for me anyways. You see, I dated a non-member for a couple of years and got married at 18. I was in love with him and even though our relationship was rocky, I married him. I guess my testimony was not as strong back then, because as the time passed by, I realized how much I needed the COMPLETE Gospel. I couldn't hang a picture up of the temple, or felt uncomfortable practicing my own beliefs around him (because it would bother him) After a while, things got bad. Our fights got physical and he would kick me out of the house and left me out in the street sometimes in the middle of the night. I began to fear my spouse and relationship. We have no children. One day, I decided to just get separated. I asked my mom if I could move in for a little. So I took my things and left. My husband was very hurt and would not leave me alone. He would call me nonstop all day. One day, he talked to the missionaries on his own. He got the talks and got baptized a month later. He begged for me to come back and I did because I felt that was what I HAD to do. I did not WANT to but I was willing to go back and see how things were. We took some marriage courses in the church. It has been for months since we got back together and since he got baptized. I do not like who I am in this relationship and I feel like I still cannot have the full experience of the gospel in my home. I know he does not agree with a lot of things of the Gospel, I constantly have to be babysitting him with attending church, or things like that. Every day, I have thought of leaving and finding someone truly worthy. I CRAVE that. I feel like I deserve a more respected relationship. I am a person that is fun and laughs a lot with EVERYTHING and I feel like I cannot do that around him because I "annoy" him. He will get very angry at me and cuss at me. I hate that I really wish I could end this marriage and find someone that will make me truly happy. My fear is that nobody will love or accept me because of me having a divorce. I will be 21 in November and I feel like it is too late to give up. I love the gospel and I feel like my testimony has grown soooooooooooooooo much in the last year. Please advise me. Thank you for taking the time to read my story
  2. Lies, lies, lies. I truly thought that he got into this nasty, disgusting world (massage parlors/prostitution) by accident. He told me from the beginning that he went to get an "innocent" massage and then it turned bad, and he just didn't stop it. Lies!!! I actually felt bad for him~~he had this massage that went bad and he didn't think he could tell me, thought I would leave him, so he figured since he was going to Hell anyway...~~turns out, she was topless when it started. Uhhh, legit massages aren't topless. So basically he purposely chose to cheat on me. This is really hard! All this time I thought he was better because his was "accidental", of course. I think any husbands that are struggling with "hidden lives", and are contemplating telling their wives, please tell her everything in the beginning! It's so much harder finding out after months and months of therapy! You may not want to risk losing her, but if you aren't honest from the beginning, you'll lose her any way. The lies and dishonesty hurt as much, if not more than, the act itself. I slipped. I thanked him for his honesty, and then I called him a bad name. I'm sad. I feel like I'm in a marriage of lies. All the while I thought I knew everything, and while it hurt like heck, I knew I could get through it because he was finally being honest. I guess my question is, can I continue in a marriage that's filled with deception?
  3. Hi everyone. I'm a convert to the Church since 1998 and have recently been active again, like for the last year-and-a-half. Lots has happened since '98 and there are a lot of reasons I'm active again. I'm a 40 year-old married guy with one 10 YO son who I am extremely proud of. I've been married for 20 years to the same woman - she attends church fairly regularly but seems to be afraid of getting wet. My handle pretty much sums up my reason for seeking other avenues of counsel. Please excuse me for being rather cryptic - this is my intro post. I need to know which forum or group I should visit to discuss some issues I need help with. I could go to my Bishop, but that's kind of "the issue," if you're picking up what I'm laying down. Anyway, I'm glad to be here and hope to get some guidance and have some fun. Cheers.
  4. My husband and I met in High School. We were 16. He wasn't a member of the church then, but joined a short time later. When we were 20, we married and were sealed in the temple 1 year later. This would be in Aug 2000. We have a very happy marriage. Both of us would say so. In 2004, he got a new job. There was an employee there who was also married, but known for her extra-marital affairs. I noticed she would call my husband's cell phone once in a while, but he told me they had to use cell phones at work to get ahold of him. This seemed right, because other co-workers called him during work hours too. However, I soon got the cell phone bill and it was huge! I noticed they were talking often. I asked him about it, and he said that they were 'just friends'. She had a bad marriage, no friends, and was lonely. This went on for a few months and was, obviously, a rough time in our marriage. I told him not to talk to her anymore, but he 'didn't want to hurt her feelings'. It all came to a head on Christmas, when I noticed she left him a voicemail thanking him for his christmas present (he had bought her a hat she wanted because "she lost her job and her he felt bad for her"). Well, I just lost it. That night he promised me he would cut her off and he did. She even called him 6 months later from a new cell number and he told her not to call him and deleted the number from his phone. After the whole incident had died down, I asked him if there was ever anything physical. He told me no. Over the last 5 years, we have moved on, and been pretty happy together. I haven't questioned his loyalty and no other 'incidents' like that have occured. Even so, this whole 'emotional affair' would come up every once in a while. I just couldn't let it go. Deep down, I felt like he was still hiding something from me. It always felt like I wasn't getting a straight answer. Finally, FINALLY this morning, he caved and admitted that they did have a physical relationship. They kissed several times in the stairwell at work and one night he met up with her and her friends. They were just talking when she led him into the bathroom and they had sex. That was the only time it happened. He said it was dirty and he felt awful. For the last 5 years he's been too much of a coward to tell me (his words). Now that I know, for sure, I am relieved. But I am also confused on how to feel!!! I need help. He said he is willing to do anything to make things right. We have called our Stake Pres for an appointment (can't go to our Bishop first for a few reasons). Does anyone know the process for repenting of infidelity? Is he going to be ex-communicated???
  5. I have been married over 6 years and love my husband. I have put my heart and soul into this marriage. He has been good to me, and still is... mostly. Like any other marriage, there have been hard times - but we have worked through them. The only problem that's continued through our marriage is that when I am upset over something he has said or done - he doesn't comfort me, or make me feel better. He leaves me alone till I am "over it". I don't get that. I'm not like that - if I ever said anything to offend him or that upset him - I would fix it and make him feel better. The other week, we had a pretty serious conversation and I bought this up. I asked him how he can bear to see me so upset if he is "in love with me". That's when he told me that he doesn't know if he's in love with me (he "loves" me, but not sure if he's "in love" with me). He also said that he does sometimes think about being single or what it would be like to be with someone else - especially when times are hard or we've had a disagreement. Is that normal? No matter what we go through, I don't think like that!! So I was pretty devastated at hearing all that. I have put so much into this - laid my emotions bare and he's always had this "guard" up emotionally. Anyways, since this, I have felt pretty depressed and just really genuinely sad. Sad that I give so much and get so little in return - and last night had a dream about his band mate - and his band mate is the sweetest guy ever! I love him (not like that!! lol), but am finding that I am attracted to him - to his sweet and fun personality. He's a really really nice fun guy and always gives me a hug and is awesome to me! A lotta fun, makes me laugh. My husband seems to have lost that part of him. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to feel like this - I want to be with my husband, I have given so much emotionally and feel like I can't give anymore love until I get some back - but him holding back, and not being sure he's "in love" with me - well I think I deserve more than that, don't I? Sorry this is so long... it's hard to get all the facts in. we're inactive at the moment - have all the good intentions there... but I know, that's not enough. I would love to be active - properly, fully, but how can I when I'm so unhappy with life at home.
  6. tls70

    Help with separation

    I posted a few weeks ago about my husband having an affair and facing church discipline. Well things have taken some turns I didn't expect and while it seemed at first it seemed he was willing to do what he needed to, now he is questioning the truth of the church and whether we love each other enough to work things out. He has asked that I agree with him at this time that he needs to move out to fix himself and figure out what he wants. He wants to figure out what he believes and if his feelings are strong enough for me. I am really struggling with the separation thing. While I have to agree with him that I wish he could figure things out and hopefully come to have a testimony of the church I'm scared for him and for us. I feel hopeless and discouraged and can't seem to get rid of these feelings. I know I need to be strong for my kids and show him I can be strong. (My depression problems in the past have been a big issue with him). He's not going to want to come back to a depressed miserable person. How do I cope with everything? How do I lift myself up? When I've prayed I've been giving the feeling that I will be okay no matter what happens and that I need to have hope and there is great hope still for our relationship. But even knowing all this I can't seem to move on. It is affecting my work, my kids, everything. I can't stop thinking about everything. I feel like I am going crazy. Help!