hope2heal

No, he didn't confess. I found the information on his phone, of all places. He says he was going to take his secrets to the grave. This leads me to believe that he had no remorse or guilt about his actions.

I told him I wanted him to take a polygraph test, (which is what my counselor recommended) and then he came forth with the info. That has me worried too.

That's what scares me. He didn't cheat once either. It's been about 5-6 different times. (He can't remember the exact number). So it makes me think that this is truly something that can't be stopped. Throughout his cheating period he saw numerous counselors, and was unable to stop. I'm a good wife. We have a very active intimate life, more so than any of my other girlfriends. I don't know what else I can do to get him to stay faithful to me. I'm not "the bad girl" that he wants. He's always been attracted to that type... I'm too "Molly" I guess. I haven't changed though, I was this way when he married me, why did he even ask?

Lies, lies, lies. I truly thought that he got into this nasty, disgusting world (massage parlors/prostitution) by accident. He told me from the beginning that he went to get an "innocent" massage and then it turned bad, and he just didn't stop it. Lies!!! I actually felt bad for him~~he had this massage that went bad and he didn't think he could tell me, thought I would leave him, so he figured since he was going to Hell anyway...~~turns out, she was topless when it started. Uhhh, legit massages aren't topless. So basically he purposely chose to cheat on me. This is really hard! All this time I thought he was better because his was "accidental", of course. I think any husbands that are struggling with "hidden lives", and are contemplating telling their wives, please tell her everything in the beginning! It's so much harder finding out after months and months of therapy! You may not want to risk losing her, but if you aren't honest from the beginning, you'll lose her any way. The lies and dishonesty hurt as much, if not more than, the act itself. I slipped. I thanked him for his honesty, and then I called him a bad name. I'm sad. I feel like I'm in a marriage of lies. All the while I thought I knew everything, and while it hurt like heck, I knew I could get through it because he was finally being honest. I guess my question is, can I continue in a marriage that's filled with deception?

I shared this with a friend tonight. This is what porn has done to me and my relationship with my husband. He doesn't want me. He wants a plastic, airbrushed, cold computer screen. I'm warm, I'm waiting to share love, joy, and a true connection. I guess I'll continue to wait. Alone. Why? What's wrong with me? It hurts.

Hi all. Just needed to get some feedback/vent about some stuff I've been going through. This is a long story, so please bear with me... This past year has been an incredibly tough one for me. I discovered a few months back that my husband has been visiting "massage parlors" that offer "extras". He has been doing this for a couple years now, and I had no idea. He had been keeping this secret from me all the while he continued attending church, fulfilling his calling, and attending the temple. It hurts that he could do Sealings with me, and not feel any guilt while looking at me across the altar. It hurts that he would jeopardize his eternal family for a few moments of pleasure with a random hooker. (I'm sorry but that's what these women are). He has gone to our bishop, and is working through repentance. He was dis-fellowshipped for a year. He swears that he loves me more than anything, and that this will never happen again. He wants our family to be together eternally. I love him too, and want the same thing for our family. (four kids) He is doing really well with his repentance, and is attending a weekly SA group. I too am attending a group for spouses of Sex Addicts. I feel okay most of the time, mostly when I go to group and feel like I can have other women to talk to. The thing is, I feel like they are moving along at recovering from their hurt faster than I. There are some days that I don't want to get out of bed, leave my home, etc. I know I have babies to take care of, so I push forward, try to smile through the pain, and not let my little ones see my tears. I guess I just want to know if anyone else has stuck around after the affairs. (Over the space of two years there were MANY other women.) How do you look at your spouse and not think about him with the "others"? How do you stop the obsessive thinking? Is it possible to ever be truly happy again? Is it possible to trust again? Does the "offending" spouse ever really feel empathy? I have done my best to turn it over to God. I feel like my Savior has carried me, and continues to do so. What about when He thinks I am ready to handle things on my own? Will I really be ready?