OK, this may be selfish, but as our children have grown up and we have had the why stay morally clean talks I have regressed to be really upset, hurt by my spouses sexual activity before our marriage and before I knew her. Yes, she told me. Yes I believe she repented. It hurt up front (I was able to abstain before marriage) but I didn't want to judge or be one of those shallow people who would break up because of past sins. I do love her. It just constantly hurts. Now every time I read a General Conf talk on being chaste I feel a sting and a pain. We have briefly discussed it but you can imagine this is a difficult, painful, akward talk. I don't want to judge but can't help my feelings. I don't want to relive it either. Conflicted. I realize the repentence process can make you clean, I'm struggling with the seeming unfairness of someone who abstains vs someone who didn't. Maybe I should not have proceeded with the engagement and marriage. I wish I would have known how hurtful this would be over the years.