dreiko

Seriously, I am so impressed with you guys. This thread is amazing!

I normally wouldn't comment here, but several of my friends married non-members. Only a very few of them live happy marriages, and those happy marriages occurred because the non-member spouse converted to the church. It isn't about what other people think. It's about what is best for you, and the only way that you will know that is if you continue to pray to the Lord until you have a firm witness. You say your emotions are getting in the way, then maybe you have already received your answer that you need to look elsewhere. The way it sounds from your posts is that your love isn't strong enough to overcome the difference in religion... (which not only is a problem spiritually, but also denotes a great difference in culture.) Yes, you have a lot of emotion and time invested in this girl... and yes, there are pressures to marry. But let me ask you this one question: Do you honestly think that by getting married to this girl that the problems that you are facing now will go away? Marriage is not a solution to problems, it compounds them. And unless you can overcome those problems with a surety of heart and a witness from God, you will see things escalate. From reading your posts, I think you are a good man, with a good heart. You will come to know which way is right. (Note: I am not saying that marriage brings problems. Marriage has been instituted by God for the purpose of joy, but a marriage that is made to "solve" problems will only bring greater ones.)

Sorry, but I'm going to be a little blunt: She's lost interest in you. Was it something you said or did? Most likely not. Women for the most part, if they are emotionally invested, will want you to figure out or know what you did that made them upset. Instead, this girl is pulling away. Granted, there is a chance that she could be a commitment-phobe, but I'm thinking that she just doesn't love you the way you love her. It's hard and it sucks (one-sided loves always suck), but let's face it, this relationship just wasn't meant to be. Yet, knowing that doesn't make the hurt feelings go away, especially when you trusted her with your heart. But what you can take comfort in is that there is someone out there that will relish your company, that won't be able to wait until you call or see them. She'll be the kind of girl that enjoys hearing your ideas and dreams, and supports you in them. Who you make laugh and feel protected... and most importantly, when you tell her that you love her, she will say "I love you, too" and mean it. I am sorry that you had to go through this disappointment and hurt. It really sucks and my heart goes out to you.

You know, maybe I glazed over it as I was reading this thread, but what about marrying for love? Perhaps, I am to idealistic, but if you truly love someone (and they're not abusive or deviant) most pet peeves can be overlooked. Many people would call me too picky, because I had many of opportunities and offers to marry wonderful men. There was nothing wrong with them, except the fact that I wasn't in love with them. I admired them, but that was not love. Maybe, I am wrong: but shouldn't it be that you marry someone that makes you want to better just because of them, someone whom you can share just about anything with even if you argue, even if you don't see eye to eye. Part of true love is seeing their flaws with eyes wide open and being happy just to be with them. But the greater is when you know that the Lord wants you to be with them. I have gotten several "No" answers when praying about prospective husbands. Then later, I realize that I truly wasn't in love with them, my heart is waiting for someone else, someone just as flawed as I am, but is whom the Lord truly wants me to be with.

Hello from Utah and Nevada (basically, as a medical student, I am traveling on rotations all over the states, so I'll just say where my homes are: NV and UT). I am thrilled to meet all of you. The discussion on the City of Enoch was phenomenal and drew me in. I am excited to learn many things from everyone and hope that I may be able to contribute a little if any. :)