Loving_Wife

I know that burning the child books where a rebellionand a way of expression his anger and hurt against his parents for their actions when it came to the 16-year-old. The bible and book of mormon... I think he is angry at God, he's angry about all of the tramua's we, as a family, have faced this year. We do family night every Friday night. We have a pinic on the floor in the living and watch a movie or play games. When the weather is nicer we have have family day. We go to the river, just our family, and hike, have a campfire and spend the entire day at the river. We have to help the step-kids bio-mom with planning some actives that she can do with the kids and that is stressful on him but we do because it is important for the kids. His work schedule has changed and he is no longer home for dinner but our rules for dinner are that each child takes turns saying a blessing and then everyone gets a turn telling about their day. Everyone comments on each others days and what was good about it. I have no idea who the home teachers are or even if we have one. We moved to this house two months ago. I just recently found out what ward we are in. I have no idea what type of Priesthood holder he is. I know he used to teach ... something to do with the Elders but really I have no idea. Never asked. I know he baptized his children when the time came but I don't think he's ever been in the temple and I know he was never sealed to his ex-wife or his children. *ETA* I texted and asked him and he is said he is Aaronic ... have no idea what that means!

I asked my husband about calling the ward because I felt that was what I needed to do. I did not ask permission but I was .... I know it makes no sense. He told me to get the information and he would call. So far, to my knowledge he has not called. I'm going to talk to him tonight about it. The kids miss church and it's time he either takes them or let's me make arrangements for someone to pick them up and take them to church. We only have one car and my older children do not drive for those that asked about the older kids taking the younger to church. As far as my personal issues they are very personal. I have a hard time trusting, so called "church leaders" due to my past experiences. Yes I know that should not be a reason, even church leaders are human and all the other reasons people give about going to church. All I can say to that is until you have been deeply betrayed by a church leader that you trusted you will never understand.

Teach him, by example, how to be the leader of his home. Show him the difference between a home lead in love and a home lead in dominance. It seems to me so many men don't understand that. There is a HUGE difference between a home lead in love and a home lead by a man who feels it's his "right" because he is the man. *ETA* I read through all the posts and they were great but this is the one thing I did not see. I know I'm not a Dad but still think it's important for Dad's to teach their sons as it isn't something Mommy can teach, well she can but it's difficult for a Mom to teach the Dad role to her sons.

I don't even think about it. In honesty I think of them as all mine. But for the curious Micah, Ryan and Jace are my bio children... Tori, Taylor, Chase and Neko are my children from another mother :) *ETA* Micah and Tori are 17 months apart. Ryan and the twins are 5 months apart with the twins being older. Neko and Jace are 8 months apart.

Yeah I know that. It's my own "thing" and a really, really long story as to why I feel that way.

He's had a few problems with his past Bishop so we'll see what happens. I don't know if I can get him to meet with the new Bishop but I did look up the ward information. I can't seem to get my mind to be quiet. I haven't slept yet. As soon as I get the youngest off to school I'm going to take a mini-nap and then try and talk to Michael and see what, if anything, I can do. Perhaps I can have the home teachers come to the house. I know that the missionary's will not come to the house unless a Priesthood holder is home, or at least that is what I was lead to believe. Michael works 12 hour days and even if he wont meet with the Bishop or the home teachers I know he would not tell me I couldn't or that the kids couldn't.

I home schooled my now 17-year-old son. When I started home schooling with him he was 8-years-old. The school failed my son on so many levels. He is extremely intelligent and was so bored in school it was a challenge to get him to even go. He graduated from High School at 15-years-old and now at 17 has just finished his first year of college. Did I go to college and get a degree in education, no I did not BUT I did a good job home schooling my son and my three girls love being home schooled. They get the same yearly tests that the public schools give and they have always tested above the grade average. Home schooling, at least in our home, is not about sitting home. It's about getting out and doing practical training. An example is when we go food shopping the girls keep a list of how much was spent. They figure out what is a better deal based on weight and price. We go on hikes and take along a book and identify various plants and if we see them, animals. We have a garden where they learn about the weather, plants and how to have a successful garden that produces food. They do have book work that they have to do as well. They play sports, in general they have a much better education than the local public school can give them. For me the best part is they are not exposed to bad influences that abound in public schools. My children are given examples of what their father and I expect of them. They are taught "old-fashioned" family values and at their age, when they are the most impressionable, we limit their exposure to bad influences as much as possible. That being said our children are in no way naive or sheltered. They have friends who do not have the example my children have and my children always come away from the experience thankful for what they have! I would agree that not all parents are able to home school but for those that can and want to they should be supported. I do not believe that the government knows my children best or what is in their best interests. Some of what is taught in public schools is against our beliefs and we would rather teach them the same information but have us their to answer their questions. That being said not all of my children are home schooled. Right now I only have half of them home schooled. But do plan to add the two youngest children within the next year. I know my rights and one of those rights is to home school my child if I so choose to and I do!!!

Yeah I am busy... forgot to add that I am also a full-time student as well as home school the three 13-year-olds. I do have to admit there are days when I wish they went to public school though!

My name is Amy and right now I am the not so Loving_Wife to Michael. We are a blended family with 7 children. Micah ~ Is the oldest at 17 years old. He graduated from high school at 15 years old and just finished his first year of college .... it's not fun when your kid is smarter than you are! Thankfully we only have one as smart as him Tori ~ The oldest girl at 16. She has tried our skills as parents. She is also very intelligent. Taylor and Chase ~ Are twin girls who are 13. They are as different as night is to day. Taylor is the bookworm and Chase is the mother of everything that comes in contact with her. Ryan ~ Is also a 13 year old girl. She is a animal lover and amazing with them. Nekolai ~ 11 year old boy who has tried my patience like no one else can. Very smart, has ADHD and anger management problems. Jace ~ 10 year old boy. He is our butterfly. He gets that nickname because I was dragging him along on paying bills. I was being impatient with him and hurrying him along when he suddenly stopped, and said, look Mom a butterfly. With utter confidence he looked at me and said "he was worth stopping to look at and not hurry." Michael and his children were raised Mormon. Myself and my children were not. Michael takes, well used to take (long story and have a post about it) all of the kids to church. My kids took to it like ducks to water. Although the kids ask continually for me to attend church with them I have as of yet to do so. I have a problem with attending church when I know I'm sinning. There is a very LONG story behind that but that is for another post Anyway just wanted to introduce myself.

I'm going to call the ward we are in here at the new house. We moved from Utah a year ago, moved in with his parents, then just recently moved to the house we are in now. Things have reached a crisis point. He got drunk (yes I know wrong) and started a bonfire (we live in a very rural area) and burned his bible, book of mormon and these beautiful children books that were LDS. I want to say these books were bought for my husband when he was a child and they were stunning. I had no idea what he was up to. I woke up to him sobbing, sitting on the bed. Thank God all of the children were asleep and did not wake up. I have been feeling for a long time that our family was under attack, spirtually, and I am even more convinced that we are. Please pray for us. Pray that I will have the wisdom to do the right thing. To be what he needs, what the kids need and not fall apart. Of course pray for him to. He is such an awesome man, husband, father and leader of our home. This is NOT my husband who did these behaviors tonight or the behaviors over the last month or so. I'm off with some trash bags, the dog (because it's 1:30am here and we are in the country with wild animals) and a shovel to clean up the mess before the kids see it.

Thanks for the responses. I know that no marriage is 50-50. I know that there are times when the wife must lead her house due to "life" and things happening out of our control. I am not Mormon, my husband is. It's difficult at best to lead the children in a religion that I know very little about. It feels like the blind leading the blind around here sometimes! The last time my husband went to church was the day my brother-in-law died. We spent the next week with my neice and nephews, taking care of them, giving them as "normal" of a life as we could given what had happened. Getting through the memorial service was a nightmare as many of my brother-in-laws family blame my sister for John's death. Then getting through the military funeral. We moved into a new house, an hour from where we were living 2 weeks after John died. As I said in my first post there is more to this than just John dying or how he died. Over the last year we have had three family members die. The first was my Unlce who left behind three children, who are all in their twenties. Then my cousin died in her sleep of a heart attack. She left behind three children all under the age of 8. Her oldest daughter found her. Then John who left behind three children all under the age of 5. The night John died my sister called us to come to her (not going into details) and we dropped everything to go to her and the children. On the way we got a phone call from our house saying our 16-year-old daughter had choosen that moment to rebell against her father and our home. The police were called to our home, while we were an hour away going to my sisters. We asked my husbands parents to pick up the 16-year-old while we where at the crime scene. When we got to the scene we had to fight the media to get the kids out of the area without them being on filmed for the local T.V. stations! We then spent the next week, while we had the kids, with no T.V. due to the media coverage of John's death and not wanting the children to see or hear anything. It was very stressful. It wasn't having the T.V. off that was stressful but the knowledge that people would and could say things that my niece could overhear. In fact when we were leaving the scene with the kids we stopped at the local gas station and the clerks were saying "some crazy guy tried to kill his girlfriend." I turned, thankfully my niece did not hear them, and got back in the car. Those kids left the scene, without jackets and no shoes. It was 30 degrees outside!!! We also had to be interviewed due to John being at our house 30 minutes before he went to my sisters house. So to recap in the last year or so we have had nine children left without a parent. Six of those children are under the age of eight. We have moved, we had a daughter rebell against her father and his house. In order to get her back we had to get the police and CPS involved. My husbands parents had the 16-year-old and refused to have her come back home. Which made the situation even worse. My husbands sisters no longer talk to him because of what happened with the 16-year-old. My step-childrens bio-mother is dying and my husband and I made the choice to have her move into our garage apartment so that she could be closer to the children, which has it's own stresses. In closing I believe that J dying was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. It's hard to have faith when you are constantly under attack and that is certianly how it feels!

This is my first post. Normally on a new forum I would post an introduction but times are desperate in my house and I need some support, prayer, hope, just about a little bit of everything. I'm not sure where to start so I'll start here. My husband and I are a blended family with 7 children. I am a stay at home mom while he is the sole bread winner and income for our family. I am currently homeschooling 3 of our children with A2 which is LDS based. I was raised non-denominational Christian he was raised Mormon. When we first started dating he was active in his church and took all of the children, mine included, to church. In the last year we have had 3 family members die but the last one was the hardest for us, personally. My brother-in-law (my sister's husband) committed suicide by cop three months after returning from his 3rd tour in Iraq in 5 years. He did this in the presence of my sister and their three children, all of whom are under the age of 5. The night before he died my sister, him and their children stayed the night at our house. The next day (the day he died) he came to our home, now we realize to say goodbye, and then went to my sister's house and did what he did. We were called to pick up the kids from the crime scene and have struggled with the knowledge that he came to our home first. That we somehow missed the signs that he was depressed and going to comit suicide. Now my sister is "engaged" to a man, who we recently found out she had been having an affair with for the last year and who she left the scene with instead of being with her children. I know it seems that I'm throwing stones. A sin is a sin regardless of what the sin is. I just am having a hard time dealing with all of this. I have sinned and I know I will again in the future and I'm trying really hard not to judge but I am.... and sinning in the process. My husband is so hurt and in so much pain that I don't know what to do. There is a VERY long and detailed story behind this but for now I'll leave it there. I expect him to lead our home. I expect him to do right by our family and our children by being the religious leader of our home. I expect him to be .... the head of our home. He refuses to go to church. Refuses to take the kids and be that head. I love him and truely believe we are meant to be. Our relationship was not an accident or a "it just happened." We are meant to spend eternity together. I have no idea how to help or encourage him. I know that I need to lead by example. To give him faith by showing and showering him in mine but we have different religions. I do not understand or know much about the Mormon religion and am not sure if going to the Bishop is the right answer. I've heard God will never give you more than you can handle but at this point I am of the firm belief that God has seriously misjudged my ability to handle all that has been handed to me