oldfashionedgirl

I know that it can be hard to be in a group of people that look down on you for your dreams. The funny thing is, my situation is currently the opposite. I want to become a stay at home mom, with all of my heart. But everyone around me is focused on careers and education. What this has taught me is that all of us have different dreams. Dreams are important in life. Who am I to say that my dream is more important than theirs? Who am I to say that my dream is the RIGHT dream? I just can't. I also know women who have children and work because their husbands have not been able to find employment. I wonder how many of them feel the same way about some of the lessons we have in church. Remember, the Church is perfect, but the people in it are not. In the church we uphold the declaration by prophets which is called The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Here is the church doctrine, let the Spirit guide you in your life to live it. "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. " (The Family: A Proclamation to the World) Good luck with your dreams in life! God will always be with you to guide you in the things that you need to do, and the experiences that you need to have!

I waited for a missionary to come home....and I basically excluded myself from writing to anyone else. I went on dates with other guys, of course, but in my heart, I just wanted to be true to him. Fast forward to when he returns... We were officially boyfriend and girlfriend for about 3 weeks before he said that he felt like he wasn't sure about things. I was pretty broken up about it and I didn't talk to him for months afterwards. I realize now that that was probably pretty harsh, but I had waited 2 years for him... I guess I'm telling you this just to say that you should be careful...because oftentimes the Lord has things in mind for us that we can't imagine. Sometimes it's being able to marry the man that we waited for, sometimes its to learn the lessons from that experience. In everything you do, I hope that the Lord will grant you the desires of your heart, and if not, remember that He will always give you something better!!!

I know that I sometimes struggle with this too. I've been the "new girl" in so many wards, and for the most part, it has been hard to break into well established clicks or groups. I've found that I am happiest when I try to, though! I usually end up making a group of the people that don't have a group. Look outside of yourself to others in your ward...are there people feeling the same way that you do? Why not try to help them out by becoming their friend? That's all I've ever been able to do.

Hey everyone! It's been awhile since I've been on here. This week I had a feeling that I should start a new blog up about being a single girl in a community of predominately Latter- Day Saint people, and the struggles that come with it. I want to focus on how the Gospel and Atonement have helped me as I've been on this journey. I'm not sure how else to share this with people, so I thought I'd post it here. Just an Ordinary, Single Mormon Girl Do any of you have similar blogs? Or any blog that you would want to share with the lds.net community? Or maybe a blog that you've read that you thought was great? I'd love to start reading them!

Thanks so much for all of your advice! I think that it's great that there are actually options out there for soon-to-be lds brides. I think that the temple dress idea is a good one too! Just get an extra nice one, then dress it up a little. And those dresses are usually around $150 for a super nice one. I've toyed with the idea of making one(er...having my aunt make one). That's always a great idea because you get EXACTLY what you want in a dress. David's Bridal makes a few boleros that would make a sleeveless dress modest: David's Bridal | Accessories | Wraps, Gloves & Sashes | Bridal

I've been looking at wedding dresses lately (for fun...no prospects at the moment) and am just want to be able to share my findings with any future brides...and also have anyone share their finds with me for the day I am seriously looking for a modest wedding dress! I'm fairly picky in what I want for my dress (I may end up making it?). I want to wear my dress in the temple for the sealing without having to put in fabric inserts. For those of you that don't know, here's the guidelines for Temple Wedding Dresses: (This from the June 1997 New Era, p. 72) • Each dress should be white. Many things in the temple are symbolic, and white brings to mind purity, virtue, and cleanliness of body, mind, and heart. Some fabrics may look white until you put them next to a sheet of typing paper. If you are in doubt about a fabric for your dress, try the paper test or take a swatch of the fabric you plan to use to the temple for appraisal before buying or making your dress. • Brides should wear dresses that are modest, with a high neckline and long skirt. Temple workers will ask a bride to wear a dickey, or fabric insert, if her dress shows the shoulder or collarbone. • Long sleeves are required. Because some current styles of gowns have short sleeves, special sleeve extensions are available at temples throughout the world. However, you may wish to add your own extension from fabric that would look good with your dress. • Sheer fabrics must be lined. Camisoles and sleeve liners may be worn under a dress that has sheer areas or see-through lace panels. Brides who wish to use their dresses later for temple sessions, however, must have a permanent lining put in. • A train must be removable or designed in such a way that it can be fastened into a bustle during the temple ceremonies. • New styles of wedding dresses with long, slim skirts have recently been brought to the temple. These often have a long slit up the side or back of the skirt, extending above the knee. Because such a style is not appropriate for temple use, workers will provide the bride with a long slip or back apron to fill the gap. A bride may wish to furnish her own modest filler instead. • Dresses should be free of elaborate ornamentation and kept in harmony with the simple and sacred nature of the temple ceremony. Also, each temple has a selection of lovely wedding dresses that a bride may use for the temple portion of the day’s events.—Margaret Richards, former matron, Jordan River Temple One of the best sites I've found so far is... Eternity Bridal They are a retailer, so they sell to lots of different store across the USA and Canada. Where did you get your wedding dress? Or where have you looked that have modest ones??

There are a lot of great comments on here..but I haven't seen one (unless I've overlooked it) that talks about what the prophets have said about this! In the end, each of our individual choices are between us and the Lord, but you will never get a prompting that goes against what the Prophet says to do (unless you're Nephi and an Angel comes to you...then God will make sure that you know it's HIM speaking, not just your head). First of all, I came across this great quote from President Faust's talk in the April 1998 Conference. He quoted President Kimball (indicating that the church still upholds what previous prophets have said): “Remember, in the world before we came here, faithful women were given certain assignments while faithful men were foreordained to certain priesthood tasks. While we do not now remember the particulars, this does not alter the glorious reality of what we once agreed to. You are accountable for those things which long ago were expected of you just as are those we sustain as prophets and apostles. … This leaves much to be done by way of parallel personal development—for both men and women.” But the eternal, and incredible role of women has been defined for us. Here's a quote from President Ezra Taft Benson: "Since the beginning, a woman’s first and most important role has been ushering into mortality spirit sons and daughters of our Father in Heaven. Since the beginning, her role has been to teach her children eternal gospel principles. She is to provide for her children a haven of security and love—regardless of how modest her circumstances might be. In the beginning, Adam was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow—not Eve. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother’s place is in the home! I recognize there are voices in our midst which would attempt to convince you that these truths are not applicable to our present-day conditions. If you listen and heed, you will be lured away from your principal obligations. Beguiling voices in the world cry out for “alternative life-styles” for women. They maintain that some women are better suited for careers than for marriage and motherhood. These individuals spread their discontent by the propaganda that there are more exciting and self-fulfilling roles for women than homemaking. Some even have been bold to suggest that the Church move away from the “Mormon woman stereotype” of homemaking and rearing children. They also say it is wise to limit your family so you can have more time for personal goals and self-fulfillment. I am aware that many of you often find yourselves in circumstances that are not always ideal. I know this because I have talked with many of you who, because of necessity, must work and leave your children with others—even though your heart is in your home. To you go my love and sympathy for your present, and I hope temporary, situation and my prayers that you will be blessed by our Heavenly Father to compensate for a situation that is less than you may desire. I recognize that some sisters are widowed or divorced. My heart is drawn to you who are in these circumstances. The Brethren pray for you, and we feel a great obligation to see that your needs are met. Trust in the Lord. Be assured He loves you and we love you. Resist bitterness and cynicism. I also recognize that not all women in the Church will have an opportunity for marriage and motherhood in mortality. But if you in this situation are worthy and endure faithfully, you can be assured of all blessings from a kind and loving Heavenly Father—and I emphasize all blessings. Solutions for you who are in a minority are not the same as for the majority of women in the Church who can and should be fulfilling their roles as wives and mothers. It is a misguided idea that a woman should leave the home, where there is a husband and children, to prepare educationally and financially for an unforeseen eventuality. Too often, I fear, even women in the Church use the world as their standard for success and basis for self-worth." (Ezra Taft Benson, The Honored Place of Women, Ensign, Nov 1981, 104) Perhaps many may think this is hard doctrine...well, that's what Laman and Lemuel said too. The church is not being sexist..we are simply following what God has instructed us to do. I am not saying, and neither is the church, nor the prophets, that a woman cannot provide for her family if there are situations where she needs to do so (husband is handicapped, ill or unable). Neither are they condemning women who have not married yet. We have also been told that we must get an education! That is important, of course! But our first priority should be to fulfill the Plan of Salvation. It does not mean that we can ignore these responsibilities to have "more" (be it money, a new car, a new tv etc). (Whew! Hopefully I don't offend anyone, but I think this needed to be said) I believe that this is a wonderful role! I'm excited to fulfill it! If you don't feel like that is something that you can/want to do, then pray about it! The Lord helps us gain a testimony of every gospel principle. It doesn't mean that you have to give up your dreams...just, modify them to fit the Lord's standards. If you want to read more about what the prophets have said just go to lds.org and search the Gospel Library for "Role of Women" or "Education Women".

So obedience to God=Slavery???? I just don't understand.... Personally, as a woman in the church I feel that freedom abounds from keeping the commandments and our covenants. Why shouldn't it?? One of the problems that does plague LDS women isn't that the men are oppressing us, but we are oppressing ourselves. We keep looking side to side at what our neighbor is wearing, or cooking, or buying. This oppression comes from comparison. But I don't think that this is just a problem within the church-there are hundreds of other women comparing themselves to others. THAT is slavery. Not obedience to God....THAT is freedom. Sisters-let's stop looking sideways and start looking up.

Thank you volgadon for your responses. This will help me in the future. I apologize if I've offended anyone esp. the Israeli government and the Church. I will be careful not to bring up the subject again.

The Utah Provo Mission I lived there for 5 years and moved away just before putting my papers in. I'm so excited because I know that this is where the Lord needs me...apparently He's been needing me there for a while, so I'm glad to go back!

Thank you for all your help, as I understand it the church only has a policy with the State of Israel that they will not use the BYU Jerusalem Center to proselyte in the Holy Land. BYU students that attend the center must sign a pledge not to talk about their religion while in Israel. If it were true that we cannot even talk to citizens of Israel on the church, then wouldn't each member of the church have to sign a pledge at baptism just as BYU students do when they go to Israel? I can understand that missionaries who are called and set apart cannot, but as members? I also understand that the Church respects the rights of Israel to allow their citizens not to proselytized, but they also allow religious freedom. This is theoretical of course, but how can you choose if there are not choice? Must you seek it out yourself? My friend attends a school there and has been asking me questions about the Bible. Am I stepping out of bounds by answering these questions if she is seeking me out? True, I did start the discussion by asking her questions about her beliefs, but she is asking me now? She is not Jewish, and was born in Russia, but is now an Israeli citizen. Sorry that this conversation had to be moved :S Should I have just messaged thekabalist instead? I'm new to the forum thing....

Hi I've just joined the site!!! I've actually been reading forums for a month or so now..so I'm a little late I guess But better late than never! I'm an old fashioned girl living in Illinois and I love the church. I've been a member my whole life. I'm actually leaving to serve a mission in Utah near the end of this month (I might actually be set apart a couple weeks early because my sister-in-laws grandma is passing away and her funeral might be next week). I love being a missionary already and am so excited to get to serve as a full time missionary. I love music (I play piano and sing, and played cello for a few years). And I love reading. My favorite book is An Old Fashioned Girl by Louisa May Alcott So I'm here for however long I'm here. Thanks ya'll!

Long time reader here, just wanted to thank thekabalist for all the work he's been doing! It's fascinating and has helped me understand quite a few points of doctrine. Also I have a question, thekabalist, I ran across this the other day and wanted to see if you think the translation is correct, or even close. It's a translation of the Book of Mormon into Hebrew by an amateur Hebrew student. It isn't authorized by the church, but I have a Hebrew speaking friend that would like to read it (her english is limited). What do you think? http://www.vibrationdata.com/Book_of_Mormon_Hebrew.htm Thanks again!