Aussie

of course! you are right its not ALLLLLL gambling, yeah, its porn, prostitutes and flesh as well lets be brutal. anyone who goes to vegas to go to the vegas temple is missing the point of visiting holy places any parent who brings their children up in vegas is abusing them IMO. it is an unnatural city, either directly or indirectly all incomes in vegas are made from lives being destroyed day after day after day vegas changes 3 years ago. its not The Pirates show people remember, its the ManPower men chasing the Hustler lingerie girls, and so on. *edited* Racial/ethnic comments will not be tolerated i've been to saigon patpong and kings cross WITH my kids. i'd walk with my kids down those streets before going anywhere near the strip. the only reason vegas hasn't been nuked by god is cos there is a temple there i am sure

Ha! har har har. been there mate. you want an easy way out don't you. well, here it comes, there is none. it hurts and it will hurt for another 20 years. and people let me tell you there is about only 1 way you will deal with it tell yourself you'd have done the same if it were you, then get over it so you weren't first there. big deal. stop being so precious and enjoy it for the rest of your life

come on the place is a toilet don't even go wel, maybe go see Blue Man group, then leave

bro pERHAPS YOU meaN to say act now before it becomes an addiction find a way to stop the process, regardless of how rare an occurance interesting isn't it. 2 instances where adultery/ morality took place- David (stayed king) Corianton son of helamen (dont do it any more) Woman taken in adultery (dont do it again) dont even get me started on early church history and polygamy. i agree- prolongued exposure and being a slave to it will damage occasional, i meanreallly aoccasional, im not sure

you're a kid have fun- with your mates. leave girls till later, but sure have them as friends too i know it doesnt seem logical to you now, but bro, be a teenager.

B A L i respect your journey and wish you the best. but may i add that suggesting to a guy who occasionally presses the wrong button and has a look that he is addicted demonstrates a misunderstanding of what an addiction really is? it seems like this guy is well in control of it, just makes a bad decision now and then. he doesnt need intervention or rehabilitation, i dont even think it needs priesthood intervention, just encouragement to find ways to pass it over, and personal repentance when occurs. ive seen addiction, i've seen lying, destroyed marriages, adultery etc. this is not that. looking at porn every now and then, no, its wrong, its a sin, its not acceptable i agree, but lets become better people, not slaves to diagnoses that aren't necessary

there is a thread over here worth a glance LDS Freedom Forum • View topic - Excommunicate the Church for what its worth, you aren't addicted you just looked at porn, and even liked it welcome to the reality of being male now dont do it again i dont even know how it requires confessing or priesthood intervention. if it does then every guy out there who ever had an impure thought better line up too just dont do it again

and i am sure 2 hours each way does not help with your marriage either right bummer eh

this isnt an addiction- anyone with a real addiction will tell you that dont do it again, and forget about it

mmmm. yeah. quite convenient eh like i say- i am a believer, just some things i think are fables and made up

im still looking for archeological evidence of the flood apparently we all came from those 8 people a few thousand years ago. theres a discussion, little animals walking back thousands of miles across oceans to get to the same places they used to live, and then kept their fossil trail continual i also want proof the israelites ever had an exodus. i also want proof of about half the stuff in the old testament there is none im still a believer

im not a counsellor. i dont know if my advice is right or wrong- only what worked for me in short it was with other people while i was on my mission. so no we didn't have kids or marriage but it meant no virgin bride either. so while its 1 portion of breaking any vow that you guys aer wronged again, hurt is hurt you know. hurt is frikkin hurt. and i felt that hurt for a long time 15 or so years "later" im glad i dont know the details. i did at the time want them, i needed more information to help me cope, hoping somethign i'd hear would help, help add context, heal my pain. but it woudlnt it, it couldnt have. i also destroyed some things i regret i did as well, thinking they were part of him/ them/ that part of her life. i wish we still had those journals and things cos we threw the baby out with the bathwater there i know she bears scars too. theres things she hasn't told me. i told her i dont want to know,. i really really dont want to. if it means she has to live with some things she'd rather get off her chest- go tell the bishop not me. does that mean our relationship isn't full, complete, deep. probably. we have secrets and we want it that way. so if a wife does this, well i say there s gonna be some things SHE thinks might help alleviate her pains if she shares with her husband, but will they help him, or is it just more pictures for his already working overtime imagination the only thing that got me through was my older brothers (both who i assume had been in realtionships where there was infidelity) said "bro, if it were you, could you have done that?". i paused, thought, said yeah, absolutely. they said well pull your head in and get on with it. you either are this christian you thought you were or you aren't. you either do believe in forgiveness or you dont. of course it was not as easy as that, but it was what got me through it. like i say, time helps, doesnt fully heal. but there are too many shared moments and experiences of us together for things i accept my pain was not a broken marriage vow. i accept it is comparatively insignificant/ but i know the pain. i understand a person who says there is something in my head that really hurts me and i want it to go away but it just wont. i am here to say it does. it sucks. it really really sucks. but it does also, kids, they are the victims. if we put it bluntly she just f***ed up. sorry to put it so bluntly but i feel that is in context to this and there is no other word that so fully describes it. she really did - up. but all she did to you was screw a guy, maybe a lot of times. and now she feels worse for it and she and they are the bigger victim than you. get over it and help the kids through it too. if they need to know- whcih is moot. if my old lady did i'd not want to know some people here had a youth of awful abuse. thats not to minimise our pains in infidelity, but its just to say sometimes we have to get over ourslves. big frikkin deal. she screwed a guy. 50% of the people on this planet probably there consider that a lifestyle choice. there are some amongst us who as kids or had kids were_really_betrayed, or who have a partner into kiddie porn etc and would only wish that the most of their pains were a cheating husband or wife hang tough and get on with it

learn to control yourself until you are married, then learn to control yourself all over again apol- i misread the original post. i assumed it was intercourse- else why would it have been posted if unsure, go see your bishop sounds pretty clear what happened. i can't make the determination for you, other than to say stop, control, repent. you have to figure out whatg repent means in this instance non intercourse- will be going no further than bishops office for both of you. without knowing any of the detail i wouldnt expect more than 2-3 months in the sin bin- so to speak

Bro, do I know you from another forum on line??? (AussieOi) Also, i respect that I can't empathise with you here, but the guy needs a good kneecapping He is a total piece of ****. i find it offensive that you have to even see the worm. He should be ashamed of himself and slink out of your sight and your presence. Can I ask why you go to the same ward? Of course he the turd should be the one to go elsewhere, but while this is still tender with you and your wife in the rehabilitation of your marriage, callings are completely irrelevent I'd just go to another ward, better I'd tell the bishop HE is going to another ward. I am flabbergasted that the bishop thinks you can all stay in the same ward? sounds bizarre. shame he's not here in Oz. He needs a good whooping. at the very least if he had_any_decency, he'd have come around and given you a stick of wood and asked you to lay into him with it. my thoughts only. hang tough bro. takes years, you'll get through it eventually. i can say i KNOW exactly the mental pain you are going through reliving and bringing it up over and over when you don't want to it just comes back and gnaws at you. all i can say is, it really does go away, it really does. time, and many shared experiences paint over it. you WILL get over it, but i won't lie, its a miserable frikkin place in the meantime. i had to just accept we were all failed. and while i didn't do what she did, could i have, - well, if the boot were reversed i probably would have. so i just told the lord that if i have to forget/ forgive (and i had nothing to forgive really) then all i could ask was that the Lord is as merciful to me and my failings come judgement as i have to be to them/ her, as he has to be to them/ her. sometimes i thought that justified me to go out and freelance, and get my fill, but then i knew that wouldnt make me or any of us happier. i really am feeling for you brother, and while i dont know you , your in my prayers. edit: just read more of the thread. much of the above is now redundant. violence wil lmake you feel better temporarily, but then you become the bad guy. it will solve nothing.

your words of personal experience are way beyond my attempt at suggestions sister, listen to that man, and not me but then my wife knows what presses my levers your call. good luck

you've been clean 3 months? hmm, i'd sy thats pretty impressive but are we talking logging in every day, or every couple of days, or once a week? or every time you were on line? no, i don't want to know or care for the other thing. yo uare a teenager. at some point you get in control with your urges. 3 months is long enough to prove you are in control of that

your bishop is a minister, not an administer he is meant to be busy helping people such as yourself its pretty unfair that you are on your own here mention it to the exec sec (who also should have been onto this) and he'll get to you right away im on a bishopric. my job is to do the crud so that bishop an spend time with people. i think you'll find you get an apology

as a messed up aussie can i just say this you're messed up alright. but guess what, we're ALLLLL messed up that said, no, i dont think you are going to be going on a mission. as in , a proselyting mission. but that doesnt mean the lord won't call YOU on a mission a proselyter saves souls, who knows, maybe you can save bodies, and someone else can come behind and save those souls get better mate. EVERYONE can rehabilitate. and welcome positve suggestions from those who have dealt with a compulsive behavioural problem (ie an addiction) also, be prepared to flush the well meaning advice of the occasional idiot who has no idea what dealing with a craving means. day. by day. by day good luck. you can come through it. might make for a good read for an LDS youth in 20 years. to hell and back kind of thing remember we're all sinners too, just to different degrees. overcome this, you will be able to overcome anything (oh, painkillers, come on mate, they are brutal- avoid at ALL costs)

as an umarried sister it is not likely you will be ex'd. probably disfellowshipped, certainly on probation his ranking is, aaron, melchizedek, mission, endowed, married, pretty well in that order we had a RM when i was on high council, got jiggy too often, we settled on disfellowship its not so much about what you did, more about where you ware trying to go true, there will be consequences. more for him than you. i wont say sisters get off lightly, but i will say sisters usually only go as far as the bishops office he's endowed suggesting hes been on a mission. his will possibly go to high council how are you gonna ensure this doesnt happen again tho? how does a person_not_have sex once they have??? (rhetorical)

thats his call and you can't interfere with that. for all you know his wife might go postal or suicidal and he is dealing with that but you are within your rights to deal with it in your way- and that may include deciding to or not to disclose who the other person was. one way is to say "the guy was married, and a willing participant, do you need to know any more than that?" they may, in that they may not want to ex you and if he is found to be more of the rogue in this then you might be excused for being manipulated or seduced so to say. your call, but you have to at least inform him of your intentions and that you reserve the right to identify him if thats the way it happens. he's a grown up and has to accept the consequences of his actions too. you have to deal with your consequences, not bear his. finally, time heals most wounds. it will fo ryou in this. might take 15 years tho. this isn't a 3 or 12 month wound here if you can get through this you will be stronger for it tho

okay. you stuffed up, big time. yeah, you know it. thank goodness you feel so bad about it. you still have a conscience whether i have or have not been on the other side of this is immaterial but here are my thoughts on one way to deal with this, from a male's perspective spoiler alert: this willbe brutal- not PG-13 rated- read on at your own risk Make him a cake, a really good one. a great dinner too. got kids- get the babysitter for them for the night, send them away talk positively about things you want to do in the future- future events. keep his mind on your journey together then enjoy your own marital bliss. i mean really good stuff too. don't hold back. i'm talking good treatment here. you want him exhausted in the mellow moments afterward, you gotta let him know how much he means to you, you always want that feeling you presently have. how much he meants to you then you gotta tell him you stuffed up- you REALLY screwed up and its killing you. its not the person you are and you dont like that person. you dont know how it happened abd its your fault and not his then tell him you slept with another man and you hate yourself etc the only difference here is whether it was a protracted affair (betrayal) or short lived affair (stupidity) if protracted- i can't help so assuming short lived okay. he's going to go ballistic. dont think this wont destroy him do's and don'ts do tell him it was not premeditated it just happened. do tell him it was a physical betrayal not an emotional one do tell him the other guy was a dud and your husband is 15 times the lover and better endowed - even if he isnt (i said this isn't pretty but your husband will at least feel better) you wore a condom- even if you didn't. you only did it a couple of times max. it never lasted more than 10 seconds when he comes back for more information..where, when, ask him if its going to make him feel better. it won't. don't. confessing infidelity does not mean confessing every where why what and so on if the guy is in your ward you change wards. change buildings. finally, dont let him hang this over you for the next 15 years either. if your marriage moves through this, and i hope it does, he can't use ammunition on you. church discipline. it willbe relatively quick and painless. possibly you will be ex'd. he will be if he is a member with Melch priesthood. i can assure also that these men will maintain your confidentiality. but they dont need to (wont want to) know all the details. keep that simple and factual. this person, that many times. straight up adultery. it doesnt need where's and whens. they'll only ask that if thinking of mitigating reasons to disfellowship you. your call on that. finally, are you the one who said he hasn't been to the temple in 18 years? if so then he's dealing with his issues too okay. he's probably not coming clean with you as to why he isn't going and your celestial marriage was not a sham, but it wasn't celestial okay. consider this an opportunity to fix something that was half busted anyway. you can get all those blessinga back. i mean you either do or dont beleive in the atonement. the atonement was for sin, not degrees of sin. also, this is NO ones business but your own. be careful who you confide in. good luck. stories like this remind me why i don't take a bite of that apple. its not like TV eh- the consequence isn't all wrapped up with bright smiles by the end of an episode