Suzanne627

Hi hunny! Welcome to the board! I am LDS, and I did convert. It's pretty awesome, intense stuff. Does your BF live far from you (since he's wanting you to wait)?

I am sorry if my comment could have been interpreted that we do not need to confess sins to our bishop. I understand that we do, certainly if the sins could affect our temple or sacrament worthiness. On top of that, the bishop offers excellent council and we need him in the repentance process. But, unlike other churches, not every single sin needs to be uttered to our bishop confessional style. I was speaking in regards to the OP's slip-up, I see it as equivalent of me accidently yelling a curse word if my smoke detectors start going off. I do nt have a habit of swearing regularly, I am not going to begin swearing because I accidently slipped up. Would I go confess that to bishop? No. But I am still ingrained with confession guilt that every single thing warrants me to ask, "forgive me father..." in a confessional.

First off- congrats on your conversion! You've had one incident since being baptized and do not feel that you will have any more problems, right? Do you feel "guilty" or do you feel like you have it under control? I vote with those who say that you are a saint and that you are worrying to much. I am also a convert and I had guilt so ingrained that it is still sometimes hard to shake. I think you are fine and there is no need to talk to bishop, though, it is always nice to talk to bishop. Repentance is ultimately between you and the Lord, you do not need your bishop to tell you that you are forgiven.

How embarrassing for you to be blamed for that .I'm sorry! I agree with the pp, if the seminary teacher felt you were to blame, he would bring it up to you. Certainly no one saw or acknowledged when it happened, so know one can say for sure what happened.

I have nothing to add other than that I am sorry for your suffering and despair. There is a book out called something like "365 days- no excuses". It is about a couple that was on the verge of divorce and were completely miserable. They made a pact to have sex every day regardless of how much they hated eachother or what stress they were under. You said that your husband still wants you to be "spicy in the bedroom", I see that as a good sign. Some may disagree with me, but maybe just provide for him daily and hope that he comes around? Mayve it will start to drag him out of his hole of misery? Men sometimes need that chemical rush. Just a thought that you could try.

Yes! Please do tell! I'm excited to hear if you guys went or not, and how it went if you did go... I wasn't inactive for nearling as long as you, but I had quite a list of transgressions from the time I was gone. It is nice to be back. It's really interesting to hear the things that have led up to y'all thinking about attending church again. I know your questions have all been answered, but I wanted to say that I only really attend Sacrament meeting. I'm planning on faithfully attending Sunday school and Relief Society at the beginning of the year. As far as having the missionary discussions go, I have thoroughly enjoyed having the elders over. Even if they just share a short message with me, or have newer elders "practice" the lessons, it is always uplifting and fun.

Most of the answers are "no". He is just neutral, unless I show him how much he has hurt me. He works hard for about a week to show me that he is sorry, but if I have to point it out to him that he needs to respect me- it isn't really respect that I am getting, is it? He doesn't drink, do drugs, or watch porn (that I am aware of). But he doesn't put me (or our daughter) first, he is sometimes moody and makes me doubt myself. He has been trying hard this week. He has stopped calling me "insane" and "retarded" for my suspicions and has told me that he sees that the things that concern me come from valid points, but he is adamant that nothing happened. But again, going back to the temple recommend and priesthood holder. I wan to talk to my bishop about my temple recommend. I seriously doubt I am worthy of getting it right now, but I also thought for sure that I would have my sacrament privileges revoked because of my living arrangements. He did not see that as necessary. We got a new bishop 2 weeks ago, sadly Mike was just warming up to the idea of getting counseling from the previous bishop. Anyways, he is not a bad guy. He is selfish, which he acknowledges, and he does work hard for our family. I'm still just not feeling it. I am continuing to pray on the idea. Thank you all for your input, advice, and council. It helps make my heart not as heavy.

Yes, it all makes sense. Tatum is and will continue to be my top priority. Eventually I want to be sealed to her in the temple, but I am hoping that I have a long time for that. Dating is NOT my priority and I only really think of it when I think that it's going to be a long time until anyone else comes around.

This is a big fear of mine as well. While he would never intentionally harm her, he tends to take the easy (lazy) way through parenting. An example woudl be when I asked if I could take a shower (without the baby- such a luxury), I came downstairs afterwards and she was crying at the baby gate and had dye all around her mouth. I asked him what it was and he said, "None of your business. She is hungry". So I started making her some turkey and cheese and she started throwing up. Come to find out, he had let her eat an entire package of skittles AND of M&M's. Would that harm her pernamently? No, but it hurt her little belly and didn't fix her hunger. My mom has this same battle with her ex and her younger children.

Thanks Dr T. I'll be fine, regardless of what happens. I applied for a job this weekend, that sort of stings. I can't stand the idea of my daughter having to go to daycare. She is very social though, and she may like it. The elders and I talked recently about "bad times" and how we can't see it at the moment but wonderful things come out of them if handled correctly. I also realize that in the scheme of life, this is such a minute issue. I made a mistake, I did not take things seriously, and I have to get back on track.

LM- I knew you'd head that route :). He WOULD marry me and he WANTS to marry me. Thinking of my daughter, I do not want her to see how he treats me and think that is okay. I do not want her to see her mother working hard on everything while her father plays video games all day every day and pushes her away from him (physically). I do not want her to see her mother disrespecte and think that is okay. I also want to be sealed to my daughter and he is not someone who will take me to the temple. How long should I endure and pay for mistakes that I made when my heart was not in the right place? Backroad- Your thread gives me hope that there are faithful LDS people who are willing to look past someones failed relationship. While I would not jump into the dating scene right away, I do worry that I will not find an LDS man willing to accept my daughter and I . I also realize that it is not fair of me to ask that.

(Quick background: I converted at age 14. I am the only church member in my family. I fell away at 17, started dating "Mike" at 19. He is not a member. A year later we mover across the country, the month that I was trying to break up with him we found out we were expecting. I started to get active in the church again. I tried to make things work, and here we are 2 years later still "trying to make things work".) Mikes best friend, Kevin, got married this past weekend. He was the best man and flew to Texas for the wedding (left Friday morning, came back Sunday morning). I didn't ask him to call me and I told him sincerely to have fun. Friday night, after the rehersal, he calls me and says that the groomsmen got together at one of their houses to go over "details". He said that he was only there to support Kevin (groom) and that he would text when he left. He said that he would text so that it wouldn't wake me if I was sleeping. Our daughter is sick and I was up all night. He never texted. I finally texted him at 4 am his time and he did not respond. He called me in the morning and said that he didn't text because he didn't want to wake me. The wedding was Saturday. At midnight he texted me that he "just got to Kevs house, playing COD" (a video game) and asked if I was awake. I said yes and he instantly called me. When he called he said that he was at Matt's house and that the groomsmen were watching a UFC fight. The bride has issues with the groom playing video games even before the wedding, so I really doubted that she was okay having guests at their house on their WEDDING NIGHT playing video games. Then, within two minutes he says that he wasn't at Kevins and that he wasn't playing video games? It was strange. His story was that he ment to say he was at Kevs friends house, he left out the word "friend". He also said that the bride had wanted girls night and that the bridesmaids and all of the other girls were not there. Well today I get on facebook and the bride has a status that is thanking Matt for the awesome after party on the night of the wedding. It's too many little details. He is being deceiving. It really hurts because I wasn't questioning him, he had no reason to lie. How would you feel? Shoudl I just scratch this relationship, get myself a temple reccomend and wait until a worthy priesthood holder comes my way? As I said, I am struggling to keep this relationship afloat. I was viewing it as too early to call it quits and to early to go to the wedding alter. I am living all other commandments, including the word of wisdom. The bishop knows my situation, that we were co-habitating while I was inactive and have continued doing so since I have returned. He hasn't taken away my sacrament privileges. It just stinks. I told him that it is his turn to fight for us if he wants us to work. He said that if I am not going to fight for it then we might as well call it quits, but I've been the one fighting for the past 3 years while he keeps letting me down. I think it's his turn to proove if he wants this relationship or not. I am praying, and I have fasted, and I will continue my praying. Thoughts?

Interesting take on it. I like that you look at it that we can step up to the challenge instead of them putting our beliefs down.. if that makes sense.

Heck yes! HAve fun, and let us know how it goes!

As far as places to take her- I'm not sure where you live, but try a fun outdoor activity. It's cheap and always memorable. Like right now, I would totally dig if a guy took me sledding or had a snowball fight with me. Or ice skating is always fun for a laugh.