Forget-Me-Not
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Posts posted by Forget-Me-Not
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I'm sorry, I don't think I wrote my OP very well. I don't think that women are inferior to men, and I don't think men are inferior to women. We are just different. I want to understand what, in our differences make men candidates to be p'hood holders and women not. There has GOT to be a difference that we can point to, and say, THAT is why. I want to know what that is.
I haven't read any other posts yet in order to respond without influence, just from my own personal perspective on the matter. Then I'll go back and read the wisdom of others.
Ideally man and woman make a union together. Each is a half of that union, which, when combined as the Lord intends, enable them to be one. They twain shall be one flesh.
Each has special gifts, attributes, and responsibilities which they combine in order to function as one. Together they are typically given posterity of God, and together have stewardship of that posterity.
One of the responsibilities God has placed upon the man's shoulders is that he preside over that posterity to provide for, protect, and bless them, so God grants unto him priesthood power and authority in order that he may act in that responsibility.
Woman, as half of that union shares in that power and in the blessings that come of it, but she has been given, and has upon her shoulders, the special responsibility of carrying, bearing, and nurturing the children that come of that union.
So with that, and since it is the man who has been given the responsibility to preside and act in the name of God in his duties as man, husband, and father, it is man God ordains to His priesthood power, that he may do so, that his wife and children may be blessed through him.
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"Run"
That's my instinctual response to the OP. I would find it far too risky and actually if it was me in the situation and realizing the attraction, I would have wanted to remove myself as soon as I recognized an attraction risk, before any emotional attachment had a chance to develop.
Also, does one simply "choose" to fall in love?
Oh, I would agree that in most cases romantic love blossoms as we deliberately and consciously help it along, by spending time getting to know someone we're attracted to.
But it can, in fact, happen completely innocently and unintentionally and unexpectedly. Yes, that can happen.
Now, while we may have control over who we choose to share our feelings of love and affection with, as far as acting on those feelings, love is not a switch that can be conveniently turned on and off at will.
Oh how many problems that would prevent and/or solve if love were that simple.
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A "real woman" is going to have enough self respect and courage to pick herself up and move on. For her sake and the sake of her future children.
This guy lies to her, breaks her heart, manipulates her feelings and if she agrees to the anulment she is taking her commitments lightly, she's weak and unkind? Marriage is hard enough and this kind of volitile behavior so soon is not a good sign for the future. No matter how nurturing, kind, compassionate and understanding a person is, they cannot change another person or force someone to love them.
No ones disputing her rights and I don't see her breaking any commitments.
His childish weakness is he does not want to be married to her. His suggestion that they get an anulment and date for a year needs to be entered into the hall of fame of pathetic break up promises. Her patience and love are wasted in my opinion.
Again we only know one side of the story, so I'm basing what my reaction on what the OP has shared.
I do hope you noticed I didn't justify any of his behaviors.
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This I just do not understand. I know people do it, that there are people who are dishonest in their interviews, but I don't understand it. Where is the joy of serving in the temple of the Lord when one must lie or be deceptive in some way to do it? Is it that they just don't want anyone to know their weaknesses or sins? Is it that they don't care about being dishonest? Is it that they want to maintain an image? I mean, don't let me in, please! If I cannot be truthful to do it! I just don't understand.
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No one else with any words of wisdom? :/
Hmmm... No words of wisdom coming yet, but I'm still smiling over seeking_peace posting, "Kiss her," in another thread and I'm having a little trouble changing tracks from romance to faith seeking.
Anyway, forgive me. I am curious to know if your family is generally accepting of family members seeking out the faith of their choice?
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Kiss her.
Loved that!
P. S. Oh gosh, I really did love that! Can't talk about why, but, it warmed my heart, made me smile, then made me laugh, and then I laughed til I cried. :')
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Yeah, I've considered multiple times that perhaps I need to move out. Yet when I asked in prayer the answer was that I needed to stay here. I've seen reasons for it since then too.
It would be nice if I knew what it is I have to do, for I do not. The biggest piece of the puzzle as to what I am to do is 'endure'. Yet I don't think that's the entire picture.
I'm sure you've done it, but I don't remember you or anyone else mentioning fasting? I'm sorry if it was discussed and I missed it somehow, but I was thinking about what it says in Matthew about rebuking the devil, where it says, "Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting." (Matthew 17:21)
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It isn't???
Okay, relating to the story. If my sister and I would be racing our bikes and she falls down and scatters her papers everywhere, I can see myself speeding by laughing too. It's pretty condescending for the Elder to judge that the brother speeding by was not "being a friend".
The thing with friends (and sisters) is - we know each other so well that we can glance at the other, read their faces accurately within a split second to tell if they're hurt or not, and get on with the game! She gathers her papers, hop on her bike, try to catch up, the whole time I'm sticking my tongue out at her... we reach the finish line laughing our buns off!
We don't have to let the other win to be "nice"... we take every advantage to win the game and beat her by a mile if we can! And that's just okay - because that's the great thing about being friends - you can let go of all inhibitions because your love for each other is too deeply rooted to have to kowtow to express it. The love is constant.
I guess it's the Filipino culture in me. But, I see my brothers in a fist fight against each other one moment and then somebody comes to side with a brother and take a punch at the other and the brother takes umbrage at the new guy beating up his brother so it ends up in fisticuffs, two brothers against the new guy... that's just the way of things in families. Especially brothers.
Is my sister my friend? Friend is too mild a word. She's not my friend - she's my sister! That goes deeper than just being friends. We can be at each other's throat one moment (which happens) but she knows that she can borrow money from me before the yelling even ends.
I never dated. Anybody interested in me can join my circle of friends. My husband was one of my best friends for 2 years. I've seen him in his worst and best moments within those 2 years and he has seen me on all my ugly splendor. He asked me to marry him, I said yes, and a week later we got married. We didn't need giant festivities and bridesmaids to celebrate, we took all our friends and family to Pizza Hut! We wanted to be together as soon as possible. We've been married 14 years. He's not my friend. He's my husband! That goes A LOT DEEPER than just friends! I have a jillion friends a lot of them I consider best friends. I have one husband.
So yeah - you don't have to like your sister - you never had a choice on who you get to be your sister. But that's the true meaning of charity. To love your sister - in everything that she is - the good, the bad, the ugly.
And that lesson you can apply to your husband. This time you had a choice. So it should be easier. Sisters can be considered as... practice.
And here's a shout-out to my sister! I LOVE YOU, POOPY HEAD!
Thankfully we can learn to love those around us, even when they're as imperfect as we, lol. Sometimes, though, we can also learn painful lessons about life that can change our understanding of what we value most. A painful lesson I learned in my life was how important it is for a husband and wife to truly be friends, and best friends. Others may not have this need for themselves, but I have learned that I do.
P.S. Don't want you to think I laughed at your entire post either, but I couldn't help laugh at your shout-out to your sister.
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I think the Lord will make a very merciful judgment to people who could get married, but don't, for whatever reason. Matters of the heart are very fragile and fickle, and unpredictable. I feel confident that the Lord will not penalize people who don't get married if they have concerns, or feel it's the wrong time. With eternity ahead of them....I suspect there will be many others who will want spouses eventually who will want to tie the knot who also missed the marriage parade in this life.
Ultimately, these decisions are the Lord's, and I trust Him...One GA said that in the end, when the Lord must assign blessings and punishments, the blessings will be the most He can give, and the punishments, the least He can justify.
Oh goodness, I should add here, too, I very much agree with merciful judgment as well, especially where matters of the heart are concerned. I was married for 34 years and learned many hard and very painful lessons during that time. Things are often much more complicated than we ever expected they would be, yet sometimes they can be so much simpler than we tend to think we must make them. Sometimes we can be so zealous in our desire to do the right thing, that we miss the directions of the Spirit, because we aren't still enough to listen.
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No idea, but i wouldn't bank on it.... but i would definitely pray for it supposing if by that time I would want to be married (having presumeably passed up all the other chances during mortal life to that point).
Yes, and I should point out I wouldn't want to bank on it either. That is to say, I know that every person who desires a mate and lives worthy of that blessing, will be granted it, whether in this life, or the next.
BUT, I surely wouldn't want to tell myself, "Oh, I don't think I want to deal with that right now. Too many other things I'd rather do in life, so I'm just gonna wait for the Spirit world to find my mate."
Of course (and thankfully) there is repentance even after bad decisions and choices, but we also don't want to be of the mindset that it's okay to think we can live life however we please without regard to commandments of the Lord and expect to reap the rewards anyway.
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Thank you for this wonderful post. I had to put on the Tim McGraw song "My Best Friend" after reading it. This is how family, and marriage, should be. :)
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hahah! I went to my grandparents for thanksgiving and the first thing they asked was,
"So, what are you hoping to gain from Byu-idaho? A husband? becoming a nuclear engineer?"
" Grandpa. I'm 17. My goals are to gain my BA in English Education, spend my next few summers traveling western USA, working, going to mexico as part of a TESOL program and then go on a mission. And, then I'll get married. At least I hope thats what happends. If the right guy comes along before I have my chance to go on a mission I'm going to be upset."
"Well. When your getting married let me know. I can't wait for you to go to the temple. You'll love the SLC temple sealing room."
He's convinced I'll be married in the SLC temple haha. He then spent the entire weekend suggesting we invite the local YSA over for a game night.
My grandfather is a hoot.
Lol. Your grandfather sounds great, and I'd suggest that if the right guy does happen to come along before you have a chance to go on a mission, and if it turns out that you're not upset about that after all, or even if you are, to tell your grandfather that he'll be the first one you'll call to let know.
It is so important to make plans for one's life and future, and you are so on top of what you want for one so young, which is a great thing. Anyway, I would absolutely agree with annewandering that it would depend on the circumstances and knowledge at the time, as per having an opportunity but not accepting it. An opportunity to marry does not necessarily mean that accepting a particular opportunity with a particular person is the right choice to make. It's also important to keep in mind that in spite of the value of making plans for one's future, it's also important to have the ability to be very flexible because you just never know what the future might hold.
So, I would say that, while, on the one hand, one should not be so unreasonable in their expectations for a mate to demand such perfection in one that they place themselves entirely beyond that opportunity, I would, on the other hand, say that it can be just as much a mistake, if not more so, to settle for marriage to a partner with which one does not have sufficient commonality, love, or respect, to have a reasonable expectation of being able to successfully travel life's journey with and become one.
As for opportunities being found and given in the spirit world, yes, this can take place. I do know of one particular example of this. I will not attempt to explain the details, not only because I don't recall all of them sufficiently to do them justice, but particularly because I don't want to exploit the very sacred experiences of living individuals that helped to bring about the sealing in marriage of a deceased loved one.
But this particular example involved a man and woman who each lived and died without ever knowing each other, with each dying before being able to marry in mortality. They did not live on earth during the same time frame as each other, either, but they found and committed to one another other in the spirit world and through revelation this was made known to living individuals and after going through proper channels to obtain permission, this couple was able to be sealed by proxy in the temple.
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Oh you sound so much like him, even down to some of the exact same words. I will keep you in my prayers. :)
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I once told a friend that as much as I'd wanted to be a mother I'd reached a point where I became grateful that I'd been unable to have children in the event I would not have been the kind of parent a child needs, especially when considering the very negative circumstances of my own childhood and subsequent troubled youth. His reply was, "Oh, no! You changed for yourself, why wouldn't you have changed for your child? I think (know) you would have managed it, just like me."
Well, I can't know if that would have been the case, but how sweet and how comforting it was to be told such a beautiful thing by someone who had managed, somehow, and maybe only through the grace of God, to overcome the sad and painful circumstances of his very traumatic childhood and troubled youth enough to be such a good and loving father to his own children, when he was unable to have the love and care of either the mother or father he needed and longed for growing up.
:)
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You married a child and he's trying to force you into being his mother by manipulating you into unconditional giving. A real man is responsible and simply does not run away, not from committment and definately not from Love. Emotional abuse and lack of commitment is not "Love" by any definition. Your Love won't change or fix him.
If someone runs away and says "I'm not good enough for you" what they really mean is "please feel sorry for me and give me what I want" or "I'm too good for you and hopefully you'll ignore that I'm trying to get away as I throw up my smokescreen of confusion and lies".
Either way the child is not ready for a committed relationship and you deserve better. Unless you like babies..cause some people do although it brings up even worse behavior when a real baby enters the scene.
I very much appreciate your strong feelings on the matter and it is a terrible thing to have happened. At the same time, though, she, too, made a commitment and whatever a "real man" would do, I might ask what it is that a "real woman" would do?
A real woman does not take her commitments lightly. She thinks things through carefully. She is strong in the face of adversity, as well as being nurturing, kind, compassionate and understanding, even when it comes to a grown man that seems to be acting as a selfish and immature child.
I would say prettyrose needs to allow herself some time to recover from the shock of having her world turned upside down. As I see it, she has that right. As I also see it, she, as the woman who committed to be his wife, also has a responsibility for the commitment she made, so I don't find allowing herself a little time to thoughtfully work through her decisions unreasonable.
I would also suggest that even in a situation as unfortunate as this it would not be the first occurrence when a little time, patience, and love of a good woman could help a struggling man overcome a childish weakness.
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Endure to the end. That's what I'm doing. I've outlived my usefulness on this earth (as far as I can see). I want to go home to my father so much it hurts, BUT I want to do it in the way that is pleasing to Him. It is hard trying to figure out what it is that he wants me to do, or why he is keeping me here. I try to be uplifting to others in some way, but recently have realized that I'm not very good at that either, so I really don't know why He is keeping me here. I'm 31 years old, I seriously can't do this for another 50 years. I'm ready, NOW.
Well, it's been awhile since I saw 31, but I just said something very similar to this just last night. At this particular moment, though, I'm now wondering if I was told I would live yet another 50+ years having to go through more of what I have thus far (*great heaving sigh*) how I would feel about it all, if I was told that at the end of that time I would prove to be a great blessing to another of Heavenly Father's children? A little better about it, I think... :)
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Thank you. Her feelings are mine. I wish I could have known her for perhaps she would have had insights that she gained through the course of her life which would prove invaluable in mine.
I've wondered the same thing you have.
One of my prayers has been to find someone who has gone through what I'm going through now who can guide me through it and answer some of the many questions I have.
Even though I have not found an individual in answer to that prayer I have wondered if one day I'm to be the answer to such a prayer in others.
I wish you could have known her too. And yes, you very well may be the answer to such a prayer one day. Do take heart in that, and bless you in it. I knew her and she would have willingly suffered to be such for someone else. :)
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I wrote the goodbye letter. I took allot of your advice. I'm crying again this hurts
too bad. A part of me doesn't want to see him cry. A part of me doesn't want to
hand this goodbye letter to him. Why does this hurt so much? My soul is just so messed
up right now. I don't know if this is the right move by telling him to either marry me and/or that I deserve someone that will honor their marriage vows and be there through thick and thin. I'm just so torn sitting here in tears crying again. My break up letter is
two pages long. I really love him and I don't know if Im making the right move.
What do I do if he starts to cry and begs me to stay?
Wht do I do if he calls me the B word and says "see ya" ?
I'm so lost right now. This isn't easy.
Don't know if you've given him the letter, or what his reaction was at receiving it if you did, but I do know from personal experience that sometimes a man can't handle feeling pressured and he will run from a woman even though he loves her. That doesn't mean you caused the pressure that made him run, either. There could be things from his own life that have caused him to put pressure upon himself and he may not even realize it.
I also know from personal experience that when a man runs, the woman has the natural tendency to ask herself, "How could this man say he loved me and then turn and run? He must not have meant it." Sometimes a man runs out of fear of some kind that really has nothing to do with the woman. Or sometimes he'll run when he feels he's not good enough for her, or when he fears he can't be what he thinks she expects or needs him to be.
Whatever the case in your situation, though, if you truly love this man, you need to take a breath. You need to take the time necessary to get over the shock of what's happened and not react impulsively in the emotion of the moment. I know, it's very easy to say, but can be extremely difficult to actually do. Even so, you need some time to rest and calm yourself, in order to better evaluate things, and to find out, if possible, where his struggles are really coming from. After all, you loved this man enough to marry him, so please don't act rashly in your hurt and pain.
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I'm in my late 20's and I've been married for 8 yrs and have 4 children. My husband and I are sealed in the temple. We have been together since i was 17. I have done everything right I could the last 8 years and been completely active in church. Because of that the news of my husbands affairs have been extremely hard to bear. About a month ago I found out my husband has been cheating on me for 3 yrs. I am completely devastated and was totally blindsided by it. For the time being we have decided not to talk to anyone about it. I desperately need some support and I guess that's why I joined the site. I have never done the whole forum thing before.
I found out something was wrong because he left his email up and there were pictures of women. When I confronted him he came clean. There have been multiple offenses, emotional and physical (including having sex more than once). And he said he wanted to tell me before but didn't know how and didn't want me to leave him. The last affair was just emotional and someone he met on the ps3. It had been going on for a few months though and only ended after i confronted him. I took him back because I still love him and think that divorce is the worst possible thing I could ever do to my kids. (This is my opinion) We are trying to make it work and even though he has destroyed my life and broken my heart he is a good father. What is the likelihood for excommunication in this situation?? This is a huge question for us. Especially considering the fact that his testimony is shaky at this point.
We haven't told anyone anything about what is going on. Our eldest daughter is supposed to get baptized in a few months and I suppose that's when everything will come out. I don't know how things will go down though. What would happen if he did decide to go through with baptizing her even though he is unworthy?? I don't feel it's my place to go to the bishop for him but if I don't and he does perform her baptism am I committing a sin?? Things may come out before then, i don't now and I don't think I would let him do that, our daughter deserves better, but it's just a question I have. Right now I can only take it a day at a time. I can't look to the future anymore cause I don't know what even the next day holds.
I guess I'm searching for some answers to my questions but also any words of encouragement I could find as well. If I didn't have to think of my kids I would prolly leave but that fact that he is the love of my life makes it easier to stay. We haven't gone to the bishop yet and I guess it's just cause we don't want people to know. It's no one's business and our families will found out if we go to the bishop because he won't be able to perform any priesthood ordinances or go to the temple. I wish there was a way we could go through the whole process without everyone finding out. I don't want my family to hate him but I know what I used to think of cheaters and it isn't kindly.
I'm already a fragile, broken mess so please don't respond if you can't be kind. You may not agree with what I have decided or the questions I have but there is no need to be unkind. My whole world has been turned upside down in an instant! That's being said, please help!
My heart absolutely breaks for you. I have no adequate words of consolation to offer. I'm sorry for that. But, I do want to stress something where going to the bishop and confessing is concerned, which is something I would encourage that you and your husband do together. It is no one else's business! No one else need know about your personal private life. Not your families and not your friends at church. Oh, they may wonder why this or that, but you have no obligation to tell them anything. That is up to you and your husband and if your bishop honors confidentiality as a faithful bishop should, no one other than those priesthood leaders who have stewardship need know any details at all. Let other people speculate all they please, about the why of this, or the why of that, but you have no obligation to discuss those private matters with any of them and if they press you, just tell them it's a matter between you and the Lord and you intend to keep it that way, end of story.
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I have a niece (in-law) with young children who lost her husband to cancer a few years ago. She told me (over Thanksgiving Turkey) how much she looks forward to the blessings of the millennium. I too look forward to that time because of the peace and healing it will bring to those with chronic illnesses in my family that I love most.
But what was more interesting to me was that we found out that this yearning for a more "heavenly" life has been with us since we were very young and I was wondering how common this is?
Most people I know seem to be afraid of the future and want things to stay pretty much the same as they are now. Most women in my corner of the world say that the future is just too scary to think/talk about or prepare for (even though it is a commandment by Heavenly Father to "prepare every needful thing".)
Hmmm. Interesting. I don't know if it's common or not, now that you've asked that question. I know that for me it seems I was born with such yearnings, and it seems they have followed me my whole life, and presently I feel them more keenly now than ever. I don't know if it's because I have not yet attained the desires of my heart for this life, or if it's because I have retained some degree of subconscious memory of the heavenly life I once experienced in pre-mortality and miss Maybe, probably, some combination of both...
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I have always admired the drive and determination of seekers. Bless you in your spiritual journey. :)
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The questions I asked in my original thread were questions I have been unable to find answers on either by appeal to scriptures or words of the prophets. Hence my reasons for asking it hear, to see if anyone had found something I had missed.
Although my Savior has defeated him, none of us have that's for sure.
You are right that he can not force us to sin.
I do not counter your statement for the sake of argument. I do it because I have evidence that such a statement is not always true if it was in the first place.
After all, are you indicating that the senses of your spirit are awakened within you that you are able to receive sensory input from them in addition to those of the body?
If not, then unless you gain a witness through the spirit that such a rule is true, can you say that you know he has no such power over you? Even if he did, you simply wouldn't be aware of it.
I was sincere when I said that I really want to believe that doctrine.
Something is broken within me. I do not know what has caused it. I've been searching for years. What ever protection is naturally afforded to us seems to have vanished in my case.
Is it sin? If so I have been unable to find it.
I am a worthy temple recommend holder and I'm keeping my covenants. My bishop and my stake president agree. I took it to the Lord in prayer and he agreed as well.
I have the gift of the Holy Ghost and I enjoy it often. If it were unrepented sin which was causing this break, the Spirit would not be able to dwell within me as it does.
The adversary is not forcing me to sin. He does not have such power. Yet let us say the adversary has power to touch your spirit... this still does not force you to sin in any way.
Yet what he can do in such a situation... would be so painful and so horrendous that you would sometimes wish that the Lord would take your life as it would be preferable to its continuation.
So please. Help me out. I asked if you could unfold the scriptures to me in support of the doctrine you gave. What you came back with doesn't make sense to me.
You quote the doctrine of Satan's inability to force us to sin and indicate that should he have power to touch our spirit he would then be able to force us to sin and that therefore he cannot have such a power save we allow it through sin.
At least, that's the way I understood your response. Perhaps your making a logical leap that I'm missing?
How would the adversary having power to touch our spirit break the law that he can not force us to sin?
I almost hesitate telling of this because I don't want to discourage you, but battling Satan and his army can sometimes be far greater and more difficult and ever-present in this life for some, than it likely is for most. It does not require neglect, lack of obedience, or sinfulness, but is sometimes what it seems some must endure, maybe because they are such a threat to Satan's work and kingdom.
Many years ago my family was taught by lovely sister missionaries. One remained a dear family friend the rest of her long and devoted life, finally passing on in her late '80s. She was one of the most faithful daughters of God I have ever known and as strong in the gospel as any of us could ever hope to be.
This woman was neither weak in her trust of the Lord, nor in the confidence of her own being as a daughter of God, yet she was so continuously, literally, plagued by the adversary in his efforts to have her that she spent much of her life begging, that if it be the Lord's will, that she be taken home for relief and pleading for the strength of the Lord, that she could endure until she was.
This is is what it truly means to "endure" and when I hear reference to enduring to the end, it is she I can't help but think of. The Lord is my example as to how I should live my life, but she, too, is an example and strength to me, as to how much I need to look to my Lord and keep my eyes and my trust ever focused on him, that I might make it through this life. Maybe one of your life missions is to be an example of this to others?
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Thanks for your response Funkytown. I think what makes it hard for me that I know the "truth" of Heavenly Father's plan thru our Lord Jesus Christ, I'm a rebel at heart.
What I mean is I don't take things at face value, I fight injustice, usually w/o thinking
when I should be relying on Heavenly Father for the answers.
Anyway, I'm just trying to figure out a way to get right w/the Lord. I see you are from the
"United Kingdom" ? I visted England many years ago when I was in the Navy. I visted
Portsmouth, saw the HMS Victory (BIG ship!) and I went to London, saw Buckingham Palace. Wanted to see the country side of England.
Thanks again, God Bless.
P.S. My loved one is a rebel at heart too and one who is intensely passionate about fighting injustice. That is a strength, not a weakness, and you are blessed to have it. It only needs channeling in the right direction and it will serve you and others well. :)
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I wanted to just chat w/someone in the church online. I became a member of the church
several years ago, baptise my daughters in the church. Lost my way in the church a few
years ago. I occasionly will bump into missionaries from the church, chat awhile. They -
(the missionaries) always encourage me to return to the church, sometimes they will pray
for me. I don't feel I can return, I feel tarnish. I miss some of the brothers & sisters I
knew in the LDS community. I miss the Temple.
God Bless you all.
Funkytown is right. Everyone is tarnished. If you could see into the minds and hearts of others, if you see into any of our lives, see what we go through behind closed doors or get a glimpse behind the protective covering we tend to wear to hide our weaknesses, faults, sins, fears, and sorrows, you would see we're all tarnished by them.
You would see that we have all struggled, and do struggle, in one way or another, with one thing or another, sometimes many things, in this life. What's more, whether our struggles, weaknesses, and sins be slight small gray smudges or thick wide black marks makes no difference. We all have the same need of our Savior and of the grace of a loving God and Father.
Sometimes we can feel we're just too weak or that we've just fallen so far that there is no help or hope for us. I have been there at times and I have a loved one who is there right now, feeling as though he turned his back on God and let Him and everyone else down, when, after he joined the church and was so happy and strong for a time, then stumbled and lost his way.
He longs to return, aches for it, but feels he is too tainted by sin and weaknesses of the flesh. Feels so tainted and undeserving, so unworthy, even, that he feels as though he's fallen from the grace of God. I have tried to help him understand that is not so. That he has not fallen so far that the Lord can't reach him still, and that he is every bit as deserving and worthy of the help and care of a loving Heavenly Father as any of the rest of His children. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Please, do not feel you cannot return. Please do not feel that you are so tarnished that there is no hope for you or that you are undeserving or unworthy of the love and care of our Heavenly Father and our Savior. They love you with a love that cannot end. That love is so great, in fact, that even if you were the only one on this earth who was tarnished and needed saving, the Lord would have gone through all he did, even for you alone, so great is your worth.
Need help!!
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted
I am saddened to read this. Trust is crucial in marriage. Without trust, what is left, really? Having said that, though, many couples have overcome such things, where trust was able to be rebuilt. I do not envy you what you have learned about the pictures etc. It sounds like you now have a very difficult road you must travel through.
As for your husband talking to his mother and other people about you, sometimes one of the hardest things to learn is when not to discuss one person with another, especially when it has to do with things within our personal relationships such as those between a couple or within one's family unit, whether it's discussed with parents, siblings, extended family or friends.
Sometimes what can be very personal and private to one individual, may seem safe or harmless to discuss openly by another. I just recently learned a very important lesson about this myself and it was a painful lesson. It is so very important to be sensitive to the needs of others in maintaining their sense of privacy. I cannot stress this enough.
I'm sorry I have no advice to offer at the moment and saddened you're having to go through it.