MIssB

You do not need to have a current recommend to purchase garments. At Distribution, they will tell you that they need to confirm your endowment. They can do this by looking at a current temple recommend or they can look you up on the computer with your name and date of birth. Years ago I went inactive for about 18 months and stopped wearing my garments. When I came back and met with my Bishop he told me that unless I was specifically told not to wear the garment, that I could wear it. Additionally... one of the recommend questions is whether or not you wear the garment, so how do you get a recommend if you aren't wearing the garment?

Martain, Thank you. That was so extremely helpful to me. I truly appreciate it. Miss B

I don't blame the Bishop for my marriage failing. I was simply stating that I was disappointed that the didn't recommend the basics. There could be many, many reasons why he didn't do it. Like I said, I don't know if that would have made a difference. Bini - I guess that's what I wanted - someone who was removed from the situation to suggest some of those things. I think hearing it from the Bishop might have had a stronger impact than me saying it. Believe me I did ask my husband to do those things, but he wouldn't. I'm not seeing complete red all the time or anything. Mostly I'm disappointed in the way things turned out and I do feel angry that nobody else (Bishop or otherwise) said the hard things to my husband. Thanks for the feedback. I don't think I was very clear in expressing my feelings. I obviously need to just work through them.

Clarification: I was reading and praying. My husband would no longer do those things with me. (He wasn't doing them on his own either.) I don't understand why the Bishop didn't suggest or even ask him to try doing those things. I guess I don't think someone would "see" their spouse in eternity if they weren't doing the things they needed to be doing to grow their relationship with the Lord.

I am having a really difficult time letting go of some anger that I feel toward my former Bishop. My husband and I separated a couple of months ago. The day that my husband told me that he no longer wanted to be married to me I called our Bishop. We met with our Bishop twice, but my husband still wanted out of the marriage. The Bishop recommended that we just take our time and not make any big decisions right away. He also suggested counseling, but my husband wasn't interested. Here's where my anger comes... 1.) The Bishop never once said that you don't throw away a temple marriage. He never said that you should fight for a temple marriage. 2.) I told the Bishop that we were no longer praying together as a couple or reading scriptures together. He never recommended that we do those things. I still don't get why he wouldn't suggest that we go back to the basics with that. He never even asked my husband if he would try to do those things on his own. I don't know if my husband would have done those things even if he would have been asked by the Bishop, but I just can't seem to let it go. I just don't understand why he wouldn't have said that you don't give up on a temple marriage. I don't understand why he wouldn't have suggested praying, reading, and fasting. That is just so weird to me. I feel like I am the only person whoever said those things to my husband. I am trying so hard not to get stuck in these feelings and emotions because it won't help me move forward, but it's hard. There's not one part of this process that isn't hard. Any thoughts on this or advice for letting go of the anger that I feel about this?

I have spoke with my Bishop about things - he knows that my husband is not willing to work on things. However, I have now moved out of the ward. My husband will move out of the ward when the lease is over - so he won't be in that ward or stake when the time comes. Having gone through the process to get a clearance for our own sealing, I do understand the process. I even met with my husband's Bishop and Stake President prior to the paperwork being submitted. One of the things that the Stake President said to me was that one of his responsibilities was to be able to say to the First Presidency that he felt like this marriage would work. There is not one part of this whole process that isn't hard. In fact, I'm still feeling pretty devastated over the whole thing. My husband did tell our Bishop that he wanted an eternal marriage and family but he didn't see it with me. He "just couldn't see it." That was hard. So, now I'm just thinking about what his options really would be. I know I just need to let go and take care of myself, but I'm not quite there yet. Thanks everyone for all of your thoughts and input!

When I was in college, I wanted to attend a family ward not a student or singles ward. I went to my assigned family ward for 2 weeks - it has an extremely high population of people over the age of 60. I discovered that another ward in my Stake has a nice group of young singles in it - maybe 15 or 20. I met with the Bishop of my assigned ward and he said that he would be more than happy to arrange for me to attend the other ward since I would have a group of members who were in a similar place in life. In fact, if I had lived on the other side of the apartment complex, I would have been in that ward. (Maybe that's why both bishops were so open to it?) It absolutely cannot hurt to inquire. The leaders of the church are inspired and know what is best for us. It can be frustrating when boundaries don't make sense, but meeting with your bishop can give you some clarity and understanding.

I know he wouldn't need a cancellation - that is something I would need if I ever wanted to be sealed to another man in the future. My questions was on his ability to get yet another clearance. I'm trying hard not to be bitter and angry, but I sincerely don't think someone should be able to just disregard solemn covenants made in the temple. Based on my experience with him, I have a feeling he will move on fairly quickly. Ultimately, I don't make the decision. I know the Lord knows the situation and that he will guide the First Presidency when the day comes. I just wondered if anyone had heard of other men who were able to get more than one clearance when the previous marriages ended in divorce. The divorce was not my choice and I would have fought like hell to save it, but it's not a battle I can fight alone. I am saddened for me and I am saddened for his choice. i just don't think he sees the bigger picture at all right now.

My husband and I had to get a clearance in order to be sealed in the temple. He was married to his first wife for 7 months. We were able to get a clearance and be sealed in the temple 7 months after his first marriage ended. Okay... fast forward to now. My husband has asked me for a divorce after 19 months of marriage. It is really devastating to me, but clearly there are bigger issues that haven't been resolved to have 2 failed marriages over the course of like 2 1/2 years. One of the points that I made to my husband was that you don't just give up if something is hard. Eternal covenants are a serious commitment. He is just done with everything and there is no changing his mind. He isn't willing to do counseling or pray or anything. He has made up his mind and chosen to shut me and the Lord out of his life. At this point, the only thing I can do is move forward. However, one comment that he made to me last week has kind of stuck with me. He commented on how he would date someone for a year before getting married again to make sure there weren't any issues. (Whatever that means!) So, it got me to thinking about what his future does hold. Is it likely that he would be able to get another temple clearance? I know that none of us can know how the First Presidency would look at the situation, but I'm curious. Does anyone know somebody who has received multiple clearances that didn't have spouses die? I just don't think he has an eternal perspective on this at all...

Just a couple of quick suggestions regarding the internet... 1.) Could you have someone else set up filters or passwords so you wouldn't know them? 2.) Is your computer set-up so that it is facing a door? Do you always leave the door to your office open? Yes, you could still access stuff but knowing someone else could see might reduce the likelihood that you would. 3.) There are some services out there that will actually monitor your internet browsing and record the cookies. That information is then sent to a 2nd party. That might work to have someone else hold you accountable for your viewing history.

You should look into olganon - it is a great resource for online gaming addictions. They have support for those who have the addiction and for those who are dealing with the effects of it. I don't know if I'm allowed to post the website here or not, but you can do a quick search and find it. Good luck to you. This is a powerful addiction that can tear families apart.

A man has to have a clearance, not a cancellation to be sealed to another woman. Then, he is sealed to more than one woman for the time being. Women have to have a cancellation because they cannot be sealed to more than one man.

Utah does not have a waiting period. In fact, only a handful of states have that rule. My husband divorced his ex-wife and we were able to get sealed 7 months after the divorce was final.

I was inactive for about a year once. I was worried about coming back and having people comment or be overly nice. When people asked me if I was new, I just said no, I just haven't been here for awhile. That seemed to work nicely. I have a friend who was inactive for several years. She moved and used it as a fresh start to go back to church. She was really worried about having others comment or judge. Moving worked so nicely for her because no one was the wiser that she had been inactive for years. (Well, the Bishop knew, but you know what I mean!) I like the suggestion about taking small steps. You could even just go for sacrament for a few weeks just to get your feet wet. Good luck to you!

Obviously I don't mean that somebody who didn't hold the Melchizedek priesthood could just waltz in to a meeting house and declare themselves the Bishop... I was referring to this scripture: D&C 107:15-17 15 The abishopric is the presidency of this priesthood, and holds the bkeys or authority of the same. 16 No man has a legal right to this office, to hold the keys of this priesthood, except he be a aliteral descendant of bAaron. 17 But as a high priest of the aMelchizedek Priesthood has authority to officiate in all the lesser offices, he may officiate in the office of bbishop when no literal descendant of Aaron can be found, provided he is called and cset apart and ordained unto this power by the hands of the dPresidency of the Melchizedek Priesthood. Maybe I misunderstood what my husband was saying or maybe he is wrong. Just trying to find out if anyone had more information about this subject...

I guess that was funny wording. I have never heard of this before, so I was curious!

Yesterday, my husband was telling me about that someone who is a direct descendant of Aaron is entitled to become a Bishop. That is it possible to have someone move into a ward and have the bishopric released and the new person would automatically become bishop. Does this ever happen? I have never heard of this. We couldn't really discuss it any further, but now I'm curious. Additional insights, anyone?

My husband and I are considering going to counseling. We both have some issues from our past that have created some trust issues with each other. We want to get these issues sorted out so we can move forward with our relatively new marriage. I've never been to any kind of counseling, so here are a few questions for you... (If you don't mind answering them.) What should I expect the first time? What is the format? I can't image just walking in and dumping to a complete stranger. How does it end? Is it weird to go home with each other after sharing intimate details about your marriage with each other? Thanks for any information you have to share!