lagarthaaz

Wow, that's fantastic - good for you! Feel free to check in any time for some support or just a chat about how it's going. You and your hubby are an inspiration :) We are doing the same as you are - educating ourselves, although I have to admit my husband is doing much better than I am as I have a weakness for sugar I'm trying to control. I am enjoying my time on the treadmill, but must admit time is a factor for me. I work fulltime in a stressful job and still have two young children at home so I'm nearing exhaustion most of the time. It's hard to get motivated because once everyone has gone to bed and I finally have some time to myself to exercise, I seriously just want to collapse somewhere. I'm not a morning person, but I might have to switch to mornings instead of evenings as I'm just so tired at night. I am determined to keep on..but it's hard finding the time and motivation.

I can't believe this issue has even been discussed as something noteworthy in a school, let alone the idea of suspending a student or teacher over it. Teacher and student have a disagreement about what's going on in the classroom - she refused to engage with him in an argument and told him to wait outside. They would have sorted it out and moved on. She did say a couple of times "I respect that" so at the very least the confrontation might have been enough for her to put more effort into engaging her students in the lesson material. The fact that he made a point of repeating her statement about the paycheck makes me think it might have been set up to humiliate her...in the background one kid says "score one bliss" so they had the phones out ready to go when he stomped up out of his desk. All that aside, this is pretty tame compared to what many teachers put up with from kids in high-schools. In fact most could never get away with just giving worksheets to students and leaving them to it...the kids in the video must normally be a compliant group, since most classes would quickly dissolve into behaviour chaos if all they had was worksheets thrown at them.

I am no expert on the subject of tattoos and missions, but when this issue has come up with people I've known, it seems that being allowed to go on a mission with tattoos really depends on where they are on the body, what their purpose is (eg. cultural), what they depict and if they can be covered. I live in a ward where probably half of the members have cultural tattoos so the topic does come up fairly regularly. Of greater consideration is the fact that you have a little boy you are emotionally and financially responsible for - why would you even consider leaving him for two years? I can sense your yearning to serve a mission and that's admirable, but are you willing to sacrifice that time with your child to satisfy your own regrets about not serving a mission when you were younger? Missionaries in the early days of the church had to leave their families for a time to preach the gospel, but that was out of necessity when the church was in its infancy. Are there other avenues where you could fulfill your desire to do missionary work? Maybe helping the full-time missionaries or serving in one of the many part-time service missions the church has available? There's so much you could do (maybe you already are if your bishop feels you'd make a good missionary).

I actually don't think it's acceptable to label anyone that way, whether male or female. We can be annoyed with each other over certain issues but I think the word "nag" implies that "nagging" (the dictionary definitions were great) is only a "woman's problem". I'm not sure how a man beating his wife into submission is comparable to being verbally berated...though both are forms of abuse for sure. I don't advocate either action. Yes, I was offended with the stereotyping of both women as "nags" and men as "irresponsible", but it seemed to me the comments were more aimed at women in general being the cause of problems. I chose only to respond to the comments about women - since we received the additional insults of being "dripping nags" who must have "dysfunctional" mothers. Ditto as far as experience goes. But that's not to say it doesn't happen. Quite honestly, apart from rare instances, I haven't seen too much anti-male denigration in my own circles, and I've been in the church for close to 30 years - and most of my associations have been with women in various callings and friendships. I personally have the greatest respect for men and women who go out to work every day to support their families, and for those who for various reasons have to take on roles at home while their partners go into the paid workforce. As a woman who has had to take on that role in recent years (due to husband's illness), I have even more understanding of just what a sacrifice it really is to be the one who takes on the responsibility of providing for the family financially as well as spiritually and emotionally. I have respect for both men and women, and I suppose that's why I took offense at some of the comments in this thread.

It was not my suggestion that "wives never nag" or that men are "lazy husbands" - I'm not into stereotyping human beings that way. Relationships are complex and cannot be defined simply. My suggestion, no, indeed my assertion was, that your comments about women were denigrating. If you want to use comments that put down and stereotype women - you can expect to offend at least a few of the people who may read here. You stated your viewpoint, and as a woman who read your comments, I'm letting you know that some of the comments you made are offensive to women. I am well aware of what constitutes holy scripture. There are plenty of scriptures that were added and left out of the 'canon' depending on the whims of writers, priests and interpreters - any student of scripture knows that there are also many records in the Bible that reflect the social context or views of the author or interpreter and were not necessarily meant to be taken literally. You only need to look at the Catholic vs Anglican canon to see that even on its most superficial level. Every word in the Bible is not meant to be taken literally - do you also believe that women should be considered 'unclean' as they are so often in Leviticus, even after giving birth? Jesus Christ spoke in metaphors often, and clearly disputed the literal beliefs of many. For example in John 3 he explains to Nicodemous that being "born again" is not literally about growing old and being born once more from a mother's womb, but about being spiritually born anew. We can all take isolated verses from the Bible and use it to point fingers at others - but that is a limited interpretation of scriptural meaning, in my view. Please point to anything I said about men being "bad" or "lazy" or where I said "women (or men) never nag". My comments are directed towards the denigrating language you are using to describe the actions of some women. Is the word "nag" something you only use in relation to women or can it be applied to men too? Do you somehow feel more justified in calling women 'dysfunctional' and 'dripping nags' because you can point to a line in the Bible? Relationship issues between men and women cannot be simply defined as "nagging women" and "lazy husbands" - they could be just as much about "nagging husbands" and "lazy wives". The point is - negatively stereotyping either sex is ridiculous - it is certainly not something that improves relationships between the sexes anymore than racial stereotyping improves the cause of cultural harmony.

I'm sorry, but I almost can't believe what I'm reading here. A woman shouldn't be labelled as a 'nag' if she has to repeat requests for help from her partner - if anything her husband should respect her enough not to force her into a situation of either repeating her requests or doing it herself out of frustration. I find your comments denigrating to the sacred partnership of marriage, and quite insulting to women. "Dripping, nagging women"? Passing on the "mother's disfunction [sic]" Seriously? If anyone ever spoke to me like that in real life I would be shocked, and even more so if they tried to use scripture to support their views. A six thousand year old complaint in a record of Solomon's does not a sacred scripture make. It doesn't take much imagination to consider what would happen if a man said to his wife: "Now I know what Solomon meant - your nagging is as annoying as dripping rain!" or "didn't your dysfunctional mother teach you how to treat your man?"... I'm grateful for inspired church leaders who provide wise counsel on the subject of marriage relationships. The wisdom and insight of our church leaders on the subject always promotes equality, patience and respect in marriage, and the condemnation of 'unrighteous dominion' in the home - they never denigrate women or try to 'put us in our place'. This month's Ensign magazine has some excellent quotes from church leaders on this subject. You can read the whole article here should you feel inclined: https://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/04/equal-partnership-in-marriage?lang=eng Some examples of church leaders views on marriage below: As Elder Earl C. Tingey, formerly of the Presidency of the Seventy, has said: “You must not misunderstand what the Lord meant when Adam was told he was to have a helpmeet. A helpmeet is a companion suited to or equal to [the other]. [They] walk side by side … not one before or behind the other. A helpmeet results in an absolute equal partnership between a husband and a wife. Eve was to be equal to Adam as a husband and wife are to be equal to each other.” Elder Bruce C. Hafen, formerly of the Seventy, and his wife, Marie, explained: “Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to ‘rule over’ Eve, but this doesn’t make Adam a dictator. … Over in ‘rule over’ uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling ‘with,’ not ruling ‘over.’ … The concept of interdependent, equal partners is well-grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel. Eve was Adam’s ‘help meet’ (Genesis 2:18). The original Hebrew for meet means that Eve was adequate for, or equal to, Adam. She wasn’t his servant or his subordinate.” Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “In some cultures, tradition places a man in a role to dominate, control, and regulate all family affairs. That is not the way of the Lord. In some places the wife is almost owned by her husband, as if she were another of his personal possessions. That is a cruel, mistaken vision of marriage encouraged by Lucifer that every priesthood holder must reject. It is founded on the false premise that a man is somehow superior to a woman. Nothing could be farther from the truth.” Moreover, contrary to scripture and the teachings of latter-day prophets, some men and women have interpreted presiding to mean that after equal counsel, equal consent is not necessary because the presider (or husband) has the right of final say. But President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, explained: “In the Church there is a distinct line of authority. We serve where called by those who preside over us. In the home it is a partnership with husband and wife equally yoked together, sharing in decisions, always working together.” In considering the equal partnership, Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles eloquently said: “There is not a president or a vice president in a family. The couple works together eternally for the good of the family. … They are on equal footing. They plan and organize the affairs of the family jointly and unanimously as they move forward.” Both husband and wife have a sacred obligation to refrain from thoughts and actions that might undermine that equal partnership.

Hooray! :)

Wow, 6 months is a long time to be feeling that burden. You and your wife are wonderful to have stuck it out this long and I'm sure the majority of members appreciate your sacrifice. They can see you sitting there on your own each week and realise how hard it must be. A thought - since the Stake Presidency are taking their time on the matter (maybe they too are struggling with the issue), could you ask for one of them to support you by being present on the stand each week until a new bishop is called? That might hurry the inspiration process along...

Oh yes! When you look at the way he kept going even with a back and knee brace on, it almost defies belief. He also looks about ten years younger and so vibrant after losing the weight and getting fit - amazing transformation. A similar thing has happened to my friend who has been doing the Crossfit training along with running. She's lost about 40 pounds over the past year and while she's not 'skinny', she looks slim, healthy and her skin is glowing. I see that same glow in Arthur's skin and joy in his countenance - I want some of that! So, back on the treadmill in the morning. I"m not a runner (I prefer brisk walking with some jogging in between) so I'm trying to increase my time, speed and elevation every few days. Nowhere near the 'healthy glow' stage yet but I'd love to be there one day :) Do you have a treadmill?

Seems like every time I turn around lately I bump into an article on the Word of Wisdom, or physical fitness, or healthy eating - maybe someone is trying to tell me something :) After several years of letting myself get on the pudgy side, I've decided it's time to take myself in hand. I've ruled out Crossfit training, and I can't stand gyms, so I've started walking on the treadmill at home and doing some light weights to a dvd. After two weeks I've not had much weight-loss but I am feeling pretty good. Just read the thread on 'crossfit' training with interest, as a friend of mine is into it and I recently did some research on it. I'm not scared of hard work, but I don't think it's for me, the routines look downright dangerous for the back and joints. I suppose it might be ok for people who are young and flexible, though it's not for me. I saw this video recently and was positively inspired by 'Arthur' and his transformation. If he can do it, so can I...I hope! I won't be using his training regime, but what he's done to lose weight and get fit in spite of some pretty debilitating physical issues, is impressive. Anyway, since it's helped me to get moving (for now), I just wanted to share this bit of inspiration with anyone who is trying to get motivated to exercise and get healthy. :) Someone come and say hi to me from time to time - I'm happy to share the exercise journey with anyone who wants to chat.