Normandy

I never saw anyone walking around outside. I saw people coming and going from the Temple or to the Temple. Is it usually a man or a woman or both walking around outside? I am glad we at least got to go and experience it and I got to talk to the kids about the importance of it. The Treasure Map they give kids required an up close and personal walk of the Temple. It included touching the temple and viewing it from certain points to look for the clues, which probably couldn't have been done from the parking lot (some clues were small). But I will remember that for the next trip I take with the kids. I don't remember this particular Sister's name. I do know what she looked like, but I won't out her here on the open forum. I don't feel right doing that.

It surprised me too. Our elders in our ward are not like that. Everyone comes with their own personality though. Is there a way to tour the temple up close without using the stairs? Like I said, it was dark and it was our first time there. I was alone with all four of my small children and I was trying to find my way around by myself. There very well could be a way and I just didn't see it. I also realized we never did go to the bookstore. Where is that located?

I wouldn't cancel your anniversary trip, but I wouldn't give her a smartphone either. That's like giving the candy thief a free candy bar. But your anniversary is worth taking note, and spending time together. You are doing everything right. It does feel like you're parenting. I feel like I have to parent my husband who is struggling with his own issues. I hate keeping tabs on him and him telling me I am controlling. I also hate that he gets extremely angry at me when he knows he's done wrong and I'm going to find out quickly. That's human nature to try and defend themselves by lashing out at you -- the guy who's about to point out the wrong they've done. Why does she want to go back to the old counselor?

I wouldn't cancel Christmas. Just do cheaper options. Addicts have set backs. Don't give up on her. Does the counselor feel she has a trigger? Maybe something triggered her need to spend again?

We went, but my experience was not at all what I had hoped for. The Sister who approached us first was not very helpful to me and seemed more concerned with talking to the other Sisters. The very first thing we did though was watch the short film. Of course I cried about 6 times. I was worried about the kids touching everything inside the visitors center. We didn't linger long after our photos with the Christus. It was dark when we arrived and I had to use a stroller (which was hard because the Temple is not stroller friendly on the outside). I was heaving a double stroller with kids in it, up and down the stairs outside while trying to keep up with my other two kiddos. We did find time to sit in the atrium. But the younger kids were oblivious to the "reverent" rules and I quickly had to leave. It seemed like a peaceful area what little I was able to observe. It is days like this I wish my husband was an active member in our family and a member of the church. Instead I rely on God, Jesus and Holy Ghost to be my partners in life, to give me strength to be a mother (by myself) and to hold my hand when I feel weak and cry. I'm hoping to be able to go back alone or with a friend sans kids. I had a great desire to look around more but it was 30-something degrees, dark, the kids were hyper and it was just not very conducive.

Do you happen to know who told them this? Was it a leader in the church? Was it a friend? Because I can not imagine any member telling someone this. Was it from the Spirit? We all come to earth with things to learn, and His plan is different for each person. But this is not doctrine. The blog said that they were "taught" that was why they were born in the situation they were. It never stated who told them this, which is why I asked, because no one has ever taught me anything like that.

Thanks for the great replies. I guess I had hoped for something more concrete in the doctrine, but I realize not everything has been revealed to us. Which, honestly, is not comforting to me at all in my circumstances. And my situation gets more complicated because my husband isn't a member and we aren't sealed and I was married before and we had miscarriages too. Obviously this is something that God is going to have to help me deal with and come to peace with. I did see a counselor for help in processing this. She told me that if I leaned towards spiritual comfort, I should try and seek it there. Catch 22 I suppose.

So when people talk about our spirits being valiant in the pre-mortal life, does that have anything to do with our lives here on Earth? Is this not doctrine either? I guess this is hard for me to understand because I was always taught (before my conversion) that everyone is equal in heaven before we were born. So I'm trying to fully understand this concept.

Oh man, that brings with it it's own questions. Do you mean me sealed to my husband, or the baby sealed to us? I'm assuming it's the first because from what I've read miscarriages are not sealed to parents.

I recently read a blog about a person who was told they were given up for adoption by an unwed mother because their pre-mortal spirit was on a lower level of righteousness then say, by a spirit born into a sealed couple's family. Is this true? Unofficial/official doctrine? Can someone help explain to me what the doctrine is on our pre-mortal spirits and their righteousness? How is this measured? I have some other thoughts and questions about this but I'll wait to ask them until I find out if this is doctrine or not.

My husband and I have had many miscarriages and I'm seeking some comfort. This is actually one big reason I was drawn to the churches doctrine on eternal families. But I've recently learned it's more complicated than 'that' with miscarriages. All of our babies had beating hearts. I know doctrine says that the spirit enters sometime between conception and birth -- and it's my personal opinion this happens when the heart begins to beat and the body can sustain life and a spirit. The heart usually begins beating sometimes between 5 and 6 weeks of pregnancy (sometimes earlier/later. Every baby is different!). So in my mind I have convinced myself they all had spirits. I also want to say that I knew my babies were gone before any signs or symptoms of my miscarriages began. I just felt them "leave" me. I truly believe I felt their spirits leaving me. After reading that, it's okay if you think I'm crazy. :) Why did I miscarry my babies? (My doctors have given me a physical reason that could have caused it, but is there a spiritual reason. Is God punishing me? Were their spirits too righteous for Earth?) Where did their spirits go? Will I ever be with them or know them again? Will they be apart of my eternal family? Those are the questions I want some type of answer for. Is there official doctrine on this? Unofficial doctrine/thoughts/books? Thanks for any insight on this.

I have almost a whole year to go! The first of November next year will be when I'll be eligible (new members have to wait a full year). But someone did mention a limited recommend prior to that. I should ask my bishop about it. You can do baptisms for the dead with a limited recommend and I actually have a lot of family members right now waiting on their ordinances to be filled who are passed away. This is something I'd have to go and do alone (sans kids) though. Maybe one of the Sisters in there can help me with the kiddos. I think I am going to stop there and go inside with the kids. I feel really drawn to do it, even if I'm alone with four kids under 10! :)

I'm actually considering going next week! It's a big choice to make though because if I do go, I'll have my little ones in tow (and I'll be alone). So I need to decide if I'm brave enough to do that.

I haven't received a recommend yet (new convert) but I may make a trip to the Portland Temple just to sit in the Atrium after reading this wonderful experience. I can't wait for my first year to pass by so I can be worthy enough to go inside the temple and receive my endowment. It's such a deep desire of mine.

So when exactly are we supposed to pray? "everything that you engage" is a lot in my day to day life. What if we're around family members who don't pray? We have holidays coming up soon and I know there won't be any praying over the meals. Is it okay to have a silent prayer in your heart during times like that?

Welcome and congratulations on your baptisms!

I've thought about this too. I don't know what would make someone reject the gospel in the spirit world. My hope is that once we get there everything will make more sense? Maybe things are still just as unknown there as it is here? Maybe everything doesn't become perfectly clear. Maybe some people are still fearful of it (I know people know who are mortified of the LDS church and think it will get you a ticket straight to the lake of fire). Do you think there are others there trying to spread different teachings the way it is here? And our spirits have to try to decide which one is true, just the way we do in this life? I do think we'll remember things from this life. When people say "there will be no more pain or sadness" I have never really believed that. I don't think we'll have physical pain, but I do think we may feel sadness or disappointment.

I agree. Not okay. He's only doing it to hurt you. You should ignore him and not feed into it.

We have a real leather sofa and loveseat. It holds up well to 4 little boys. We've had ours for about 10 years and they still function well. They are not powered (I had no idea they made those now). What doesn't hold up well is our beige carpet and white flat painted walls. Ha!

In your situation, I would agree with your mom and pay tithes on what your family gives you. This is considered additional income. Also, don't be afraid to pay smaller amounts over time. As a new tithe payer myself, that's what I'm doing to equal up to my 10% of my Adjusted Gross Income.

I asked about the New Convert lessons. I was told a family in the ward would probably do those with me. No one has set up anything though. Are those the same as the New Member Discussions? They also handed out VT slips today. I didn't get one. I'm assuming I will soon though. Not sure what type of time frame to expect on that. I really have a strong desire for my Patriarchal Blessing. In my particular situation, I think it will be very comforting to me. I need to try to speak to the Bishop about this. He is so, so busy there was no time today for me to speak with him. Hopefully soon I can inquire more about it. This is horrible of me, but I don't even remember who our ward mission leader is. There are so many people and titles to try to remember, my brain is overloaded. I'll write that down though and find out next week who it is and how I can contact them. Thanks for that tip!

I'm so glad you had a wonderful time! Go where you feel you fit in best. We have a lot of singles in our family ward believe it or not. Our YSA ward is very casual and laid back. It's mostly young college students (23 or under pretty much!), as we live in small college town USA. You can always take a change of clothes if you needed and change after service if you'd feel more comfortable. I think your red shirt sounds fine though. :) What's most important is you being there and seeking Heavenly Father.

I have read through this entire thread, so I have no idea what everyone else responded. My response is: yes! My husband and I seriously considered Cedar City, UT. The job he wanted fell through there and we ended up further north west in the country, but we loved Cedar City. The people were so nice! The town was beautiful, the area is so nice. We spent time looking into the area and honestly, it seems like a great place to raise children, find a good community... and there are a lot of other Christian based churches to attend too. :)

Okay! Thanks. :)

I 100% agree with what Quin said. It sounds like you need a better support system. A larger ward/area/town might be a better fit and there are people out there who help relocate you. I think there is much hope for you! My father is blind (not a member of the church) and it's amazing to me the amount of resources he finds. He became blind several years back, and it was a struggle at first, but eventually he found a resource which put him in touch with more and more to fit his needs. I hope you're able to do the same. I'm so sorry you haven't been treated the way you need by your ward. I'm so sorry your family deserted you in your time of need. The lesson to take away from this is that people are human, we make mistakes and we are not perfect. But Heavenly Father is and his love for you and his steadfastness never changes and is always perfect. Cling to that and to his promises to you.